i don't claim to know it all. i don't claim to be perfect. i just claim to love jesus.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

"just"

it's been "just" too long!!

but i've been "just" crazy busy. :)

last weekend we went away for the weekend. YAY!! :) it was super fun. i took pictures with my cousin for a wedding and since it was a bit of a drive away...we decided to stay at a hotel for the weekend. it worked out fantastic. shaun stayed at the hotel with the four older ones and i took evaleigh with me. i wrapped her in my moby wrap and she slept pretty much the entire time! i was going to bring the rocker i got from CSN stores (the great internet store that has EVERYTHING..from Corelle to baby products...to living room furniture..and even school supplies) but i forgot it, and really didn't need it, so it worked out great! the wedding was fun too. they got married in  a park and had a potluck lunch. it was so cute. and seemed to be pretty stress-less. and it was over earlier than we anticipated so we got to have a ton of family time at the hotel after.

and i must say...my husband rocks. he took all four kiddos to mcd's for lunch. and to TWO different parks. in a city he's never been in. ALL BY HIMSELF!! it blessed me to see him doing that. and even more so that he said it was hard work. :)

we didn't know what we were going to do for church sunday. and in the end the kids woke up so late we were going to have to miss church, and just listen to a study on the way home. BUT...on our way to breakfast we walked by a room...and heard some people practicing music...WORSHIP music...it was a church service. it started in a little over an hour. so we tried to eat as quickly as possible, and then get back to the room and finish packing and load the van. we made it to the service near the end of worship. so not too bad!!

the only downfall was that i wasn't able to stay for a bit before leaving the kiddos for children's church. it was SO nice to have them be able to hang out in children's church and for us to not have to worry about keeping them occupied and quiet during church. caitlyn however doesn't do so well at the whole 'drop and run' thing. so she cried a bit. but was okay in the end. amelya was seperate from the other kiddos and did fantastic and came out of it learning something and being able to tell us what she learned. i always make a point to ask what they talked about and what they learned. it was also nice for me and shaun to just sit and listen and not worry about anyone else but ourselves and the pastor. (okay i also had evaleigh but she nursed or slept the entire time. :) )

the church is currently working in the book of proverbs. and was talking about 'work and wealth'. for me what i 'got' from it...is that i'm not "just" a mom. i'm a mom. that is my work. it's the calling God's placed on my life. now i know it's my 'calling' to be a mom. i've always known that. well not ALWAYS...but i've known it for at least five years. ;) the issue is, i'm always "just" something. like if i call you, i'll generally say this is "just" amanda. and i know i've thrown out...i'm "just" a mom. until sunday, i was okay with being "just" something. ((even though the other week my sister in law said i'm not "just" amanda, i'm amanda. after i called her saying that.))

i mean really "just" a mom? how silly does that sound? well to me it didn't sound silly. til sunday. til i realized that "just" a mom...means a TON of things. cook. doctor. housekeeper. comforter. teacher. discipliner. the list goes on. and yes i know being a mom doesn't make me a doctor, but we do have to keen in on our 'doctor' abilities once in awhile. so we're not "just" moms (or dads for that matter) we ARE MOMS!! and DADS!! we're important. we matter. and don't let anyone discount the fact that "all you do" is stay home. because we know we do a lot more than "just stay home".

when i quit my job to stay home with amelya my grandpa said, oh so now you don't have a real job? i actually spoke up and said, yes i do. it's just a different one. i don't remember his response. but i think he was surprised that i said something. my job is very real. our job as parents is VERY real. regardless if we work out of the home or not, being a parent is a job. a very much full time job. a very much long time job. from the moment we read pregnant (or see the plus sign or hear the words...) we suddenly transform into someone else. a parent. and our job starts. we think about how this or that will affect us and the baby. we pick out the 'perfect'sets of things. we start caring about things we never knew existed. we start not caring about things we thought were SO important.

our job doesn't get us any 'cash value', but it gets us a lot more than that..hugs. kisses. the i love yous. the pictures. the snuggles. the everything. we get paid so much every day we don't even realize it most times. or at least i don't, until later in the day...or week...or month. my only prayer is i take the time to realize everything NOW and not later...when it's too late. i strive to spend as much quality time with my kiddos as i can. to not yell as much as i can. to just love them as much as i can. sure there's discipline involved. but it's also done in love. after we discipline we make sure to take the time to explain to them why they were disciplined. and that we do love them. and we pray with them. it's important to us to discipline our children when their behavior warrants it. i personally feel they're 'looking' for discipline, as in, they're going to see how far they can go. feel out their boundries so to speak. if you let them feel their boundries farther than they're supposed to go without discipline...next time may be further yet. and it's our goal to not let them get any farther than they're allowed. and when they do...we love them, by showing them that what they did/where they went with their 'boundries' is not okay.  i have to remember it is my job first and foremost to be a parent to my children. and then their friend. it is possible to be both, and for me it's parent first then friend.

whew. i went off somewhere i wasn't intending to. near the end of the service the pastor repeated something a few times. he was telling us to make sure we're putting our hand to the calling God's placed on our lives. and to go for it 100%. 100% of the time.  i started crying in church. i can't even explain why. part of it i think is just because i've been feeling kind of poopy to begin with. and feeling that  i was "just" a mom. not very important.  i know sometimes we fail. but for me it was realizing that God has placed this calling on my life, and He wants me to put my hand to it. that THIS IS my JOB. and what a great job it is. to not discount it.

and to not discount any job we've been given. if you've been called to be a plumber...BE a plumber. a farmer? BE a farmer. a cashier at target? BE a cashier. the point. BE what you've been called to be. and give it your all. put your hand in it 100%. sure there's times that 100% falls to 99.9%...but most of the time we need to be giving it 100%. make it our goal to be. settle for nothing less than our best. ((okay now i'm sounding like one of those motivational posters...you know the ones with the pretty scenic picture and motivational quote...lol))

so yeah. that's what I got out of church this week. shaun got something totally different. which i think is SO cool, how two people can hear the same message and be spoken to by God in different ways. it was a huge unexpected blessing for our sunday. and i've totally seen a change in shaun and his attitude about his job this week. SO GOD!

this is on a different topic..but fitting...well i think so. there's a girl that shaun graduated with, and i'm friends with on facebook...who had a baby a few months ago...and then suffered through postpartum depression. she recently started a blog sharing her story. her blog is called stronger mom. her name is jodie. and i think it's so incredible to have her share her story. it's spoken to me in mulitple ways. and made me realize i'm not alone. do i think i have ppd...probably not. but i know the baby blues were and still are sometimes blue. with other random happy colors thrown in. i encourage you to check out her blog and read her story, and perhaps share it with someone you know who could gain something from it. she just started it last friday...so you'll be able to catch up very quickly. jodie is a great writer, and speaks her story straight from the core of her being. thanks again for being willing to share jodie.

and with that i'm done for the day. i've been good at blogging at least once a week to let you know, i'm still here. :) i'm hoping to set some sort of schedule for myself and the school year. set up a 'time' for blogging. school. etc etc etc. oh wait...speaking of school. God totally worked out something for that. i've been trying to find the 1st grade curric. we're using...used. He closed the door on one really good deal, and i almost went to buy the set new. but waited. then i found someone selling the teacher's manual. then i sold the EXACT moneys worth of diapers needed...to buy the book. so it's like i never 'spent' the money. if that makes sense. so all i need to buy new is the student materials. and a few books from usborne books. BUT i'm having an usborne books party next week. SOOOO i'll use my 'free' credit to get the books for free. and then i'll just have to buy the student materials. in the end ...saving almost 40 bucks!? isn't God great?!

and speaking of the usborne books, if you're local...please feel free to come! my party is next tuesday at 630 at my house. ((let me know and i can get your directions/address etc)) but even better, if you can't make it, you can order off the site, and have it count towards my sales...and have it shipped right to your house. i LOVE these books. they have books from baby to toddler to pre-k to school age. check it out here. so i seriously hope you can make it, if you live here. and if you don't...feel free to check it out and order if you feel so led. :) thanks!!!

okay. done for real this time. it's only taken me a few times at the computer to finish. ;)

10 loving words from you.:

Kelli @ RTSM said...

Yay for Shaun taking all four kiddos to McD's by himself! I'm impressed! And isn't it nice when they realize how hard you work to do simple stuff like that every day! It sounds like you had an awesome weekend. How cool that there was a church at your hotel.

He & Me + 3 said...

It has been crazy here too. This summer has been like no other.
Usborne books are great. We have so many.
I was just talking about the SAHM thing with someone else the other day.

Lara said...

It's nice to hear that Shaun has been doing some neat things with the kiddos. I know it melts my heart when I see my husband purposely go (way) out of his way to spend some quality time with one (or more) of the girls. I was actually just getting ready to blog about such an experience and why it's so important for me to see that!

I hope you get to feeling better soon. I'm pretty sure I always end up with some kind of "cloud 9 to depression" feelings weeks after giving birth. Those darn hormones will calm down and hopefully have you back to your old self soon.

I was also going to tell you that just this week I too am feeling like "just." My words to be exact were, "I feel like I was put on this earth to pick up messes and clean." Of course, this was after a particularly rough patch of messes (and more messes being made behind my back as I was cleaning previously made messes) and some toddler whining/tantrums. It can be such an ugly feeling to have.

I agree about the limit/boundaries thing. When I'm furious, I try to remind myself that I need to discipline out of love (not out of anger). Sometimes, that can be hard. But I want them to know respect, love, and boundaries. I figure we'll let small people make small mistakes before they turn into big people making big mistakes!

Good to "hear" from you again!

Kristin said...

I loved this post, Amanda, and I love that God placed that service in your path that you would get so much out of! And I have been thinking alot about this topic too. I feel like I spent the last year running around, like what am I supposed to be doing, and then I realized I am already doing it, I just need to do it 100%! Just like what you were saying! I have often said, I'm just a mom. But, let me tell you, I NEVER ever stressed out about any "real" jobs I've had, but this job of being a Mom is SO important and I think that's why I've allowed myself to be stressed and anxious. I often felt guilt for "not doing anything" and staying home, and that's what usually leads to anxiety for me. I am learning that this is the most important job I will ever do and if some people don't get that, then that's their problem! Thanks for sharing!!

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mittelmommy said...

glad you guys had such a great weekend! so glad you guys got to both sit in church and share in that time together in service and for the kiddos to get to learn about God as well! it sounds like the service was really good..thanks for sharing it! i think just about anyone needs to hear that bc i think we do all fall easily into that i'm just a...thinking.

Veronica said...

Thanks for the reminder of not downplaying our jobs as SAHM's. I used to feel that way a lot and then more recently, I've been finding myself change my attitude on things. I love this life and know that this is exactly where God wants me to be right now!

So neat that you guys got to go away for the weekend and yay for a helful hubby! What a blessing! :)

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Holly said...

You're so right about doing the best at what God has called you to do no matter what it is! Doing our best is worship to Him!

Kristin said...

I read this post when you first posted it, but I came back to it today. Much needed! Today was one of those days when I kept questioning if I was doing anything right and if I was doing "enough." But you are right. I am doing exactly what God has planned for me and what I am supposed to do. If I trust Him, He will lead!