Aryssa Mae

my niece is here!!

she decided to come on her own without having me or my mom there to welcome her. i should've called when dustin was awake at one thirty this morning and we would've made it. amy and grant waited too long to call...because a half hour after they called aryssa was born. at 3:15!! she weighed 5 lbs 4 ounces and was 18 1/2 inches long. her apgar scores were great 8 and 9. she is spending some time in the nicu. and could be there for a week to six weeks depending on how she does with everything. so far she's doing just great. here's a picture of my niece. it feels weird to say that!

thanks everyone for your prayers and everything through the past few days. even though aryssa decided to follow 'her' own plans and not the 'doctors' amy and grant couldn't be happier to have their little girl. and really who am i kidding...it's GOD'S plan! looks like he had a good one...you know..again. :0)

and if you're interested in a few more pics here's a link to my facebook album.

UPDATE ON MY SISTER!! URGENT PRAYER REQUEST

A PRAYER REQUEST TO ALL MY BLOGGING BUDDIES...PLEASE PRAY FOR MY SISTER, WHO IS ABOUT 33 WEEKS PREGNANT! SHE IS SPENDING THE NIGHT IN LABOR AND DELIVERY BECAUSE OF CONTRACTIONS. THEY ARE GIVING HER DRUGS TO STOP IT, SHE IS ONE CM DIALATED. PRAY FOR PEACE AND GOD'S WILL THROUGH ALL OF IT. SHE IS HAVING A GIRL. SO PRAY FOR BABY GIRL K!! THANKS THANKS THANKS!

UPDATE: amy's water broke this morning at 1AM she still hasn't talked to the dr about the 'next steps' through all of it. right now i'm planning on sitting up there today with them after dustin's one year check up. so please continue to pray for them and for baby k. and for me too...i've only ever 'done' labor, not helped with labor. but amy asked if i'd come.

thanks for the prayers guys! and please pass this prayer request on if you feel led!! god is good and will be glorified through all of it. please pray that i can be a light to my sister and her hubby and the dr's and nurses.

some more of the trip.

i'll quick post about the next part of our trip to new england...with connecticut as our destination.

what really 'sparked' this trip. was a great friend i had made online. michelle and i got along so great and on so many levels. i kept saying it'd be soooo cool to meet her in 'real life'. and i talked to shaun about driving to see her. he thought i was 'half serious'...but all that half serious turned into...LET'S DO IT! so we started planning the trip.

we drove through ohio and pennsylvania. then there was a crazy part of pennsylvania. it was insane. drivers were crazy. at one point we just had to pull to a rest stop to...rest. literally. we both were just crazy. it was a bit of a shady rest stop. but we survived and made some peanut butter sandwiches. yummy! i love just peanut butter sandwiches.

we ventured on then through pennsylvania and onto new york. where crazy fast driving continued. did i mention...on not very straight roads? and on mountain like terrain? we were not in wisconsin anymore!! there was also a scary bridge in new york that we had to pay to get on and cars from the most left lane needed to get to the most right lane in a hurry and didn't care that they cut you off. we were very watchful! when we saw the sign for connecticut we were SO happy. so happy to have made it to the state. we checked into our hotel. it was super nice and super cheap!! i called michelle to let her know we had made it. also to say how it isn't wisconsin anymore.

i'm serious. the speed limit is 65. people do 80. speed limit slows down to 55. people do 80. unless there is a cop. then they slam on their brakes. seriously...i think the cop knows how you were speeding up to him! i will be honest and say i contemplated skipping nyc after driving in new england. i mean HOW was nyc going to be. but i took the advice of our pastor's wife, be 'in the moment' we were in connecticut not nyc. so be IN connecticut!!

the first night we were there we hung out with michelle and her cool family. her son was so surprised we had came all that way 'just' to meet his mom. :0) we got some pointers on what to do and see and decided to do the aquarium in mystic the next day. and the night after that michelle's husband promised to cook us supper to spend our last night together.

the aquarium in mystic was SO COOL!! we don't have aquariums very close to us and it was the first time any of us had been to one. we pet sting rays and sea stars (star fish...which really are not fish) saw a sea lion show. and loved experiencing all the animals. it was so cool. the kids had a great time. and michelle scored us a discount!

after spending the day at the aquarium we checked out mystic village. it has a bunch of quaint little shops. little. as in too little to really 'enjoy' with two strollers and eight arms grabbing. so we didn't see inside all of them. but shaun did manage to find some cool kites. he's wanted some nice and 'cool' kites.

after our day in mystic. we decided to find the ocean. so we drove over to rhode island. which was like a half hour? away. we found it. the ocean. and it was beautiful. i LOVE the ocean. and most all of us did. except caitlyn. she hated it. she doesn't like sand for some reason and screamed most of the time we were there. but here's a video from the trip to the ocean....

after the ocean we went back to our hotel. and enjoyed watching biggest loser!! woo hoo. one nice thing is that shows are on an hour later than we're used to on the east coast. biggest loser is the only show i watch that  i 'caught' the whole week..but i'm not complaining! i'd miss all my shows for another family vacation!!

the next day we headed out to a museum all about the native americans that originally were in connecticut. it was very cool...but cameras weren't allowed! i was very bummed though because we missed michelle's kids' science fair. i thought it ran until 230. we got there at 220. and i found out they had to be OUT by 230. so we missed it. ((sorry again michelle)) in between missing the science fair and supper we found a cool mcdonald's to play at. the mcdonald's ROCKED! it had a HUGE playland. the kids loved it and made two little friends while we were there as well. then we went off to michelle's.

michelle's hubby rocked supper. he made us chicken tacos...made with wildtree taco seasoning of course! and we just enjoyed supper and fellowship. michelle even let us eat on her 'fancy' pier one mexican dishes. that's how special we were!! AND we got to drink out of her fanciest glasses! what a rockin' hostess!! josh treated us to a mini-concert and the girls loved playing with michelle's daughter. the night drew to a close and i was super bummed our visit to connecticut was over! we had such a blast with michelle's family! her son was super happy to take a picture of michelle and i though with my camera. (and he is super cool and totally deserves one of his own!!)

as we got back to our hotel we rounded up a bit of our things for the night and slept well...the best night the whole trip...due to the best apple crisp dessert for supper i'm sure!

and the next morning...we headed off on our next adventure...NYC...

you were wondering.

well not YOU you perhaps. but someone was. because they comment anon i cannot answer their question privately. so i must do it this way, because i'm thinking they'd like to know the answer. i'll do my best.

this is what they/you were wondering: "I'm wondering though (and wondering nicely) why it is so important to have more babies. And so soon. You are blessed with four. Some people are never blessed with one."

first off, thanks for wondering nicely. and for asking nicely. i've had loads of mean anon comments before and it's nice to have a nicely put one!!

now to answer. 'why is it so important'. and i honestly can't explain that why. it's just a desire in my heart to have more babies. i have the desire to have more babies, to be a mom to more babies. i can't explain it other than it's a desire in my heart. and shaun's. we've talked about it a lot lately, especially since losing the two babies this summer. we still have that desire to have more children. now i'm not saying that people with no children don't have that desire, because i know they do. i had the same desire after we miscarried our first baby. i'm just saying that i 'still' have the desire. and really? what's wrong with that desire? it's ultimately up to god if we have more children. i have no control over it at all. none. do i know why god gives me more children before he gives someone else their first? no. i don't understand it either. i don't understand why women who have that desire for children sometimes never get it filled. but that's the thing...i don't need to understand why. i just have to trust god and his plan and that he sees our whole pictures. if we end up not having any more children am i going to be mad at god? absolutely not.

i don't want it to seem that i don't treasure the four children i already have. because i SO do. more than words could ever ever express. i think because i treasure them so much it makes me want more to treasure?. i don't know i guess. i am happy with the four (on earth) children  he's given to me and can't wait to meet my three in heaven some day. and i'd be happy if those numbers stay the same or get bigger. i guess i want to know, is it really wrong to desire more children?

so soon. hmm. well i guess 'soon' is what the normal has been for us. i truly think it'll be weird if we get pregnant to have dustin be almost two or two before we have the next baby. i've been used to a one year old and then a newborn. 'soon' is fine with me. 'later' is fine with me. and i'm the one taking care of them, so really does it matter that much to you if i have a baby every year? and the more people i meet, the more i realize they're doing it too.

when we were in ohio for vacation we went to calvary chapel cleveland. ((great church!!)) do you want to know that with people with more than one kid...we were one of the SMALLEST families. the pastor himself had 14 (and recently miscarried a baby in may), i met a mom with 8 and one on the way, others we heard had 11 and 13 children! big families aren't something stared at? is what i was thinking. around here most of the time we get stared at and rude things said to about our family. i must say for the first time in my life i felt so welcome in a state where four children was just a 'start' to a family. shaun and i said we might as well move to ohio...lol. i think he was just kidding? because it just wasn't at the church where bigger families were accepted lovingly, ((i will say our church is the exact same way...ours is just the biggest family because there are only a few young couples with kids that are a part of the church.))  the resturaunts we ate at it was nothing to them. usually someone says something! everywhere we went we didn't feel like some sort of 'show'...it was so nice.

when it comes down to it, i don't understand the women who don't want children, or who only want a few. and they don't understand how i could possibly want one or more children. and that's fine. i think we all have different desires and how boring would the world be if we were all the same?

do i see myself with fourteen kids? mmm. probably not. with five or six...sure. like i said i'm leaving it up to god. i know i would love more...but i'd also love it if we just have the four we have. i feel like i've talked in a big circle. and i hope i make sense.

so it's not super important to have more babies...i'd just love to have more. soon? doesn't matter...it just seems normal to me. and yes i have four. i'm truly blessed. and my heart break for the ones who have none. it truly does. i don't understand the heartache of having no children and wanting one...but i understand the heartache of being pregnant and so excited to have one...and then lose it. that happened to us the first time we were pregnant...and again the last two times. we all have different heartaches. mine is no worse than yours. we just have to remember we have such a loving god who is in control!

and i don't know much about you who asked. maybe you're struggling with wanting children and don't have any yet. all i know is you use aol.com as a domain. and your ip address is in kansas. (thanks sitemeter) but i do know that i'll pray for you, ms. (i'm assuming) anon. praying that god gives you the desires of your own heart. and to know that he is good. all the time.

so. now to "you" who were wondering about our vacation...

it was such a blast. i'll touch on a bit of it today and finish on about it over the next few posts.

we left early in the morning on october 10th. right ON schedule. insanely enough we were on time. i KNEW it was going to be a good trip then!

when we hit chicago something strange happened. i wasn't nervous or anxious!! god truly kept me calmed and answered prayers! he also placed in my heart songs that spoke right to me. it was SO cool. the only time i freake a little was with the chicago skyway toll bridge.

see it up there?! it was a big bridge. but it went well. and on the way home i didn't even get the least bit freaked out!! so god is soo good and faithful to answer and hear our prayers!!

we made it through indiana just fine. it's a long state. but has very nice rest stops on the interstate. the interstate however is ridiculous expensive to pay for. lol. i'm so glad wisconsin doesn't have tolls!

then we made it to ohio. we were close to our hotel. ohio also has nice rest stops. and is just as expensive as indiana. but oh well. when we made it to our hotel we were all excited. it was nine hours of driving. but totalled about 12 hours of a trip with our stops. my husband is the opposite of my father. he doesn't mind stopping a lot and actually he needs to stop more than me. probably because i've been trained to wait. lol.

in ohio we swam in the pool. and then woke up the next morning and went to church. calvary chapel cleveland. it was a great service and i made a friend! after that we ate some lunch and then went to an apple orchard i was told we 'had' to go to. and i'm glad we did it was a lot of fun for the kiddos.

they had free baskets of apples for everyone. the girls loved them. dustin had a few bites too!

they were making fresh kettle corn. and shaun and dustin had to check that out!!

we stayed there for a few hours and it was so fun. we drove a bit into cleveland on our way back to our hotel. didn't really do much else there. but it was so nice to just have the time to do whatever we wanted and whenever we wanted.

we stayed in cleveland til monday morning. early. we we on the road a little later than i planned...because I overslept...and didn't hear my alarm. so god totally woke me up and we were on our way to a little state called connecticut...

stay tuned for our great visit to connecticut. and if you want to see all the pictures from our trip here they are from my facebook page.

oh and i took some pictures of dustin yesterday for his birthday...here is the link to those!

enjoy and have a great weekend!! i have a wildtree party tomorrow and shaun gets to work this weekend! and we're going to shaun's mom's house for dinner on sunday...dinner for dinner. not dinner for lunch. :0)

a year old!?!

yikes! dustin is a year old today!! where has the year gone?! would someone PLEASE tell me! just a year ago i was praying he was going to be born soon. three hours later he would be.

i can't believe how fast it's gone. but man my little boy is such a blessing to me. and to our family. i couldn't imagine our family without little dustin. awww. when we found out we were having a boy, i was super excited. but also wondered...what in the world am i going to do with a boy?! i had a sister. i had three girls before him. it was all girls before him. oh but our world changed for the better with our little boy. he's a great 'change' to the family. and as crazy as it seems to have four kids under four...i couldn't imagine it any differently...and pray that it'll become five under five. :0)

so happy birthday my little man!! keep on keeping on...but please hold off on walking for awhile, like your sisters did. i'm not ready for that yet! my little boy is not so little any more!!

i found his shirt at h&m...dad + mum = me. perfect i thought for his birthday. lol. and if you're interested in reading dustin's birth story..here's a link to that!

i'm hoping to get back on track by next week with my blog reading and posting. and of course i have to tell you all about our wonderful vacation!!

oh and i keep forgetting...last week on vacation i got a call from my dr's office. guess what?! shaun and i's blood testing came back all 'normal'. neither of us have anything wrong with our chromosomes. PRAISE GOD!! woo hoo!!

fifty fabulous facts.

so. here's the scoop. this was supposed to have published last week. it didn't. grr. so i'm doing it now. and telling you all...i'm HOME!! yep. i was gone all last week. we were in ohio,  connecticut, new york city, and ohio again. it was a blessed trip. i have a ton of pictures...and just as much laundry. so stay tuned for trip posts coming soon!! for now i'm off to get ready for the day and you can enjoy these little 'tidbits' of information...

i saw this on a friend's blog. so i'm copying. it's just fifty fabulous facts about myself. yep fifty. hopefully it doesn't bore you to death...it's also an 'easy' blog post for the day!! enjoy.

1. i am the oldest of two children. i have one younger sister. and one younger dog brother. my mom seriously calls him our brother. his name is ernie.

2. i can be. and am. very bossy. it must be because of number one. ((seriously if i tell my sister to do something for me, she'll do it without asking questions...i've got her 'trained'. shaun yells at me all the time for doing it...and the sad thing is...i don't even realize i'm doing it.))

3. i notice those same bossy traits in my oldest daughter.

4. my relationship with jesus christ is by far the most important thing in my life.

5. sometimes i struggle with number four. but then i realize that he loves me more than anyone. even shaun. and he loves my kids more than me. what a god. what a father.

6. i talk really really fast in real life. and it's been said my blog takes on that same trait. ((so do you read it really fast?!?! do you?! do you?! come on!!))

7. i'm also very shy until you get to know me. then number six happens.

8. i was shaun's only girlfriend. ((awww...))

9. we were virgins on our wedding night. ((not that it wasn't easy. but it was so worth it))

10. i love blogging and meeting new friends through blogging. it's a whole entire different family.

11.  i've met a ton of blogging buddies in real life. and think it's the most exciting thing ever!

12. i love taking pictures. and wish i had a ton of money to open up a studio-ish type thing and do it ''professionally-ish''. i also love photoshop elements, but wish i had the 'real' photoshop.

13. i recently paid off our best buy credit card. which means my camera is offically ALLLLL mine  and paid in full.

14. we're working on paying off the two other plastic cards we have. and then can be officially credit card free!! ((i'm super excited for that day))

15.  i would love another lens for my camera. but my money tree hasn't grown yet.

16. i'm not really obsessed with money. it seems that way but i'm not. i KNOW and trust that god provides for our family.

17. i used to think i wanted 'one' more baby. my mind has been thinking more than that lately...

18.  out of the seven pregnancies i've had...three of the tests have been taken in a wal*mart bathroom stall.

19. i have four kiddos here on earth. three girls and a boy. and three babies in hevan. one of which is a boy. the other two we don't know...yet.

20. i'm very stubborn. must be the german in me...or something like that...

21. i LOVE to play games. i think i'm a pretty decent loser...but i love to win!!

22. i love to scrapbook. but am seriously..YEARS behind. my philosophy is that the pictures will always be there.

23. my biggest 'fear' is fire. i'm always planning what we'd do if a fire started. who i'd grab. then what i'd grab.

24. i also do not like mice, rats...basically any small rodent. especially if they make it into my house. a dead mouse/rat is a HAPPY dead mouse/rat.

25. are you still with me?! we're only half way done...i love numbers. really i do. like when a clock says 1:11. i love it. or when it was 09/09/09 this year?! totally cool. i was sercretly bummed when amelya was not born on march fourth. her birthday would've been 03/04/05. (she was born the next day) and i was excited when my dr had her baby on may 5th of that year...05/05/05.

26. i am obsessed with gas prices. i just like knowing what they are.

27.  my kids' names are alphabetical. a,b,c,d but we didn't orignially intend on doing that. we just did a then b. and figured we couldn't stop. okay I figured we couldn't. but really it makes 'sense' if you know me that my kids names alphabetical.

28. before i had kids all of our dvds were alphabetized. and it secretly drives me crazy that they aren't still that way...i tried believe me.

29. even though i'm organized that kind of way...i'm a terrible housekeeper. i have been getting better though.

30. when i was younger i wanted to be an architect. the i realized i didn't want to be because of all the math. i even did an architect explorers group and our group got first place for our model and design.

31. as i got older and in high school...i LOVE math. still do. statistics are fascinating to me. as well as algebra.

32. but i do not like geometry. blech.

33. i'm homeschooling my kids. and love it.

34. i went to the university of wisconsin-oshkosh for one year. i was going to double major in elementary and special education.

35. i learned the most about myself during that year at oshkosh than any year prior to that.

36. i feel that you should not pressure your kids to go to college. it should be their choice, and they should pay for most of it to teach them responsibility. besides that, you can tell which kids' parents are paying for college at college.

37. when i decided to not go back to college was the first time i really felt god speaking to me and guiding my life. i haven't looked back since.

38. shaun and i were only engaged for 10 months before our wedding. we didn't live together before and couldn't wait to just do it. ((get married!! geesh... ;0) ))

39. shaun is super duper shy. but he's slowly coming out of his shell.

40. i'm obsessed with making these goofy smiley faces: :0) and use them all the time. so much in fact according to some crazy facebook application it's my most used 'word'.

41.  i worked at a daycare for almost four years before having amelya. it was quite the experience and i believe helped me tremendously prepare for motherhood.

42. i never intended on becoming a stay at home mom. until i held amelya in my arms.

43. amelya was my first baby and weighed over nine pounds. nine pounds four ounces to be exact. i've been induced with each baby afterwards to avoid another big baby.

44. i absolutely love to read. i will stay up all night finishing a good book. my favorite author is karen kingsbury. she is the first author to make me bawl my eyes out. i feel a connection with the characters she writes about.

45. i've craved tacos with each of my pregnancy. crunchy ones. just to hear the crunch. and taste the grease.

46. i LOVE cheese. but 'real' cheese...not that processed plastic cheese.

47.  i am the world's pickiest eater. if it smells gross i won't eat it. even if it looks good.

48. i love my soda warm. no ice please.

49. i'm addicted to tv. i love it. especially all those crazy reality shows...survivor, amazing race, biggest loser.

50. i use cloth diapers. i'm trying to eat more 'naturally'. and have started using natural cleaning products. BUT have no issues with using disposables on a vacation. eating at mcdonald's. or letting shaun use windex. (seriously i get headaches from windex and all the other cleaning stuff with those nasty chemicals in them)

whew. did you make it?! you may have already known some of those things. but it was fun to do!! if you decide to play the same fabulous game...let me know...so i can be nosy and read it. that's i guess 51. i am super duper nosy and stare at people all the time. :0)

sweet story

i've been meaning to share this story and keep forgetting.

the other week at church the kiddos drew pictures of heaven. i always try to talk to amelya about her work. i asked her what she drew and we talked about it. then she said this: i wanted to draw the babies. but i didn't know how.

i was speechless. (shocker!) i stared at her with tears in my eyes and said...oh amelya. thank you.

as i sat in the van thinking about it, i was so blessed. my four year old baby girl. remembered. she remembered my babies. her brother and brothers or sisters. and then it hit me as i thought about it over the next few days.

i'm not the only one who remembers. i'm not the only one who lost a baby. there were grandparents and a nana who lost grandchildren. aunties who lost nephew(s) and niece(s). sisters and a brother who lost a sister(s) and a brother(s). and a daddy who lost a son(s) and daughter(s). and a multitude of others who aren't closely related by blood..but still lost the chance at meeting our babies.

i realize. it's not only about me losing a baby. a whole bunch of other people did too. and then i feel sorry that i feel like no one remembers.

they do remember. they just don't sit around talking about the babies. they were all babies that we weren't blessed to meet. what is there 'really' to talk about. so then i sit quietly and thank god that even though words aren't spoken...hearts were broken just a little when we lost our babies. not in the exact same way, but hearts broke for us, for our family, for our babies. my loss is different then your loss. but a heart broken, is a heart broken. my life may be easier or harder than yours...but we all have hardships to face and have to realize it's not about us and our pity party...it's about giving it to christ and letting him have it. and take it. and hold you.

so i continue to rest in my father's sweet loving arms. and wait on him. for his ways are not my ways...but they are oh so good and perfect.