love.

when we're in public we usually hear comments about our kiddos. and i think a lot of people see us and get overwhelmed. and then maybe think they couldn't handle it, so they get more overwhelmed. and sometimes say things that they really don't mean to sound critical or judgemental, but can sound that way. i've really learned to just be confident in the calling God has placed on our family, and take the comments with a grain of salt. because really, most of the time i'm sure they don't mean to sound that way. ((and let me tell you, it's taken a lot of God working on my heart to get me to this point! a LOT!))

but each and every single time i look at my kids. i know this is exactly what i wanted. what i've always wanted and didn't even know it. sure it's been a crazy seven years. there are 15 months between the first three, 13 between caitlyn and dustin, and about 20 between dustin and evaleigh (with two miscarriages between them as well) i think if i could've "choose" our family i wouldn't have picked it this way. but this is how God gave it to us, and i wouldn't have it any other way. i've been known to tell people, have the kids close together. it truly is great. as with everything...it can be crazy. but i think it can be crazy no matter how many kids you have. one can be just as crazy as two or three...or five...or ten.

yesterday i took this picture of the kids, all in their new shirts from my parents, who just got home from florida. :)

last night i was just staring at it. marvelling in the love God has given me through them. i never  knew how much i could love until i was given these blessings. i love the "stairsteps" of their heads. :) and when i see the gap between dustin and evaleigh my heart remembers the two steps waiting for me in heaven. there isn't a sadness involved, but moreso the hope of seeing them again. i'm so thankful for that hope of heaven i've been given.

of course there is fighting, but for the most part they all get along great. if i had to pick i would say dustin and caitlyn fight the most. but they also get along really well. they are either fighting or playing, there is not too much of a middle with them. dustin is a great little and big brother. he loves to play babies with the girls and always begs to be "daddy". and he has been known to breastfeed a baby or two. and wear a bright lime green skirt around the house with his john deere hat on his head. amelya is the typical "oldest" and craves her own space, gets mad when they climb up in her bed. but at the next moment is packing them all in her bed to read them a story. breigh is my little momma, and can be found snuggling a baby or evaleigh most of the time.

i love each one of their personalities, and it's amazing how different they all can be coming from the same two people!! i love being able to homeschool them and grow and cultivate their relationships with each other even more. i always tell them that friends will come and go, but their sisters and brother will ALWAYS be there for them. that their best friends should always be their siblings. it's something i wish my parents would've taught me more growing up. now as i'm older my relationship is better with my sister, but if i had been taught some of these things growing up, i think it would've been better.

i love this life i've been given. and i know that these babies are only on loan to me from the Lord and i am so very grateful and thankful that He has entrusted me with them. i can't help but tear up when i see things like this...

so even though my life can seem overwhelming at times. it's all good. so good. so very good.