a call from the doctor.

well. today i got a call from my dr.

i listened to the voicemail and was very nervous to call back. reason being was that she really didn't say much of anything. when i got my biopsy news on voicemail back in january they said the good news. so i kind of figured that it may not be 'good' news.

i just got off the phone with her, and just need to spill it all out in writing.

turns out first of all...our baby that is in heaven was a boy. i have another son. she said she felt like it was a bummer because she knew it was what we were 'hoping' for. but it's SO cool to know. i have no idea what our other babies were. i thought the first one was a boy and the one in may was a girl. but i don't know for sure. it's so cool to think that i have a son waiting for me for sure. and that dustin in fact does have a little brother. a brother. another boy. a son. for some reason i can't stop smiling at knowing that.

so. he had quite a few things 'wrong' with his little choromosomes. she told me about three different things that were screwed up with them. one of the 'major' things that was wrong was his chromosome number 22. his. him. isn't it fun to 'know'. :0)

so now that means she wants us to get our chromosomes tested. to see if one of us has a screwy chromosome or if it was all just 'random'. our insurance has to authorize it first. so after that is done, then shaun and i have to get our blood taken and wait some more. if something comes back 'not okay' from us...then we can meet with a genetic counselor and see what they have to say. basically they'll tell you your percentage of miscarriage and the percentage of having a baby born with abnormalities. so we'll see.

and wait.

i tell you. it's the waiting part that stinks. i just want to know. and move one. but in the wait i know god has a lot in store for me. and shaun. and our family.

god is good. and he has a plan. and 'if' something is wrong with me or shaun's chromosomes i just praise him for his perfect faithfulness. and for the four kiddos i have on earth. and the three in heaven.

my mind and heart are a bunch of emotions right now. i don't know if any of this even comes off clearly. but i feel better getting it out. :0)

ps. i have another son!?! :0)

pps. and there's a giveaway in the post below this one if you're interested.