full of it

you know when you plan to do nothing in an afternoon. and then end up busier than you ever thought?
yeah. that was my day yesterday. my mom is on 2nd shift so she came to dance class with us in the morning. because i had nothing to do after dance she just rode with us. breigh woke up yesterday morning and didn't go potty. she tried twice and wouldn't go. that concerned me. but i figured she'd go eventually. ((unless i'm pregnant i don't even have to go RIGHT AWAY so i didn't think much of it))

after dance class she tried again. this time she went a tiny bit. and looked at me like she was going to die. because it hurt so bad. that's when i decided to call the doctor. so i called the nurse direct line, who of course said she needed to be seen as soon as possible. grrr. how soon? because i had to take my mom back to home. then come back to the same town i was in. ((about a half hour away!!)) so i set up the appt and prayed it'd work out and we wouldn't be late. of course the place we ate at was slower than normal. and in the meantime i called my sister to see if she could watch the other three kiddos. so before taking my mom home i dropped the three of by my sister. ran my mom back home. and turned around to bring breigh back up.

((did i mention i had a wildtree party last night. so that meant i had to make up my dips for the party. i always make some extras up so there's lots to taste. i also had to make a pizza dough up (for breadsticks) for the sauces we were going to have at the party))

i was stressing. but my sister was way nice and offered to make the pizza dough for me, because she had some. and she just so 'happened' to have a sample pack of it. yay. so while i took breigh to the doctor my sister helped out by watching three of my kids, her baby girl...and make my pizza dough. :0)

breigh was stressing too. she teared up as soon as we got to the hospital. she teared up when i tried to help her go potty in a cup. and didn't. she cried when the called her name. it was so hard to see her so upset. but i knew something had to be done! she cried when the nurse asked to try and go potty again. she didn't get anything out any of the times. then they came in to do the cath. and i asked if i could take her one more time to try...because i know the nurse scared her a bit walking in with 'stuff'. we tried one more time. prayed a thousand more times. sang the b-i-b-l-e song a million times. trying anything to make her calm and get her to go. i got one drop out of her. and i prayed that god would give me the strength to see her through the cath. i've never had one...but knew it wasn't going to be plesant.

as i layed her on the table she clung to me and begged me to stay. i told her i wasn't going anywhere. and at that moment i thought of myself. ((i know how selfish..but stick with me)) how in my most desperate moments to god i cry and beg him not to leave me. and i remember how he tells me the same thing i whispered to breigh. "i am right here. i am NOT going to leave you." it was incredible to me to be spoken to in such magnitude at such a crazy time. but i am so thankful for that.

breigh layed on the table sobbing and i held her hands as the tried to do the cath. the nurse couldn't get it and brought in another set of eyes. they got it. and voila. it was in. and done. and breigh calmed down quickly. but it was awful to go through it with her. it was the first time as a mom i've ever almost lost it. shots have never really bugged me at all. but this bugged me. but i knew i couldn't 'lose it' in front of her. i needed to stay strong. and by the grace of god i did.

our doctor doesn't work on tuesday afternoons, so we actually saw the nurse practioner, who is great! and she ordered an x-ray to be done to see if perhaps breigh was full of poop. so we did the x-ray. and then a bit later got to see the results. she was literally FULL. i felt awful. i felt like a bad mom even. how did i not know!? but i mean really i don't have an x-ray machine at my house so how was i supposed to know. she didn't complain of a belly ache...i don't know how she didn't! so i let those lies go away, and know that i am a good mom.

so we got the 'orders' to do an enema, to clean out the lower stuff. a dulcolax to help soften, and miralax daily until she's going daily and softly. and then to slowly wean the miralax. BUT as soon as she misses two days to put her right back on it. ((now i know it seems personal to share all that, but when i had posted this on facebook some people said how they were told to do miralax as well, and i just wanted to share the knowledge i learned, so your baby doesn't have to go through anything like breigh did))

so that's where we're at.

my wildtree party went great last night! and it was fun to have a relaxing night out talking food!! and introducing it to new people. i even booked a party for april. ((i'm still looking for two more volunteers to do a party in april. :0) my goal is four parties. i have two. so i'm half way to my goal!))

i'm also getting super excited for my giveaway gala starting april 5th. i've gotten most of my items to do my reviews for!! and i'm excited to share them all with you!! and give you a chance to WIN!! winning is always fun!

i'm sorry for my lack of commenting over the past few days. i'm hoping to get caught up tomorrow when i have NOTHING planned...and hopefully it stays that way. :0)