i don't claim to know it all. i don't claim to be perfect. i just claim to love jesus.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

closing another chapter...

i think closing another chapter is the best way to think about things.

miss evaleigh isn't nursing anymore. and is sleeping til 8 every day. up until last week she was getting up between 6 and 630 to nurse. then go back to sleep. it was the only time of the day she was nursing. i weaned her during the day at around 10-10 1/2 months. then her before bed feeding around 11 months. so we were down to just the morning feeding, and mainly because then i didn't have to get out of bed. she sleeps in the pack and play next to us yet. :)

i honestly didn't have much desire to nurse any more. i was ready to be done, but then some days...i looked forward to that special time i had with her. so i just let it happen however it needed to. there was one day last week she slept til 8 so i got her up and fed her breakfast instead of nursing. then the next day she was up early so we nursed. one day i did try a sippy cup with her. she pushed it away and shook her head no. she *knew* that is not what happened in bed. lol. because as soon as i laid her down to nurse...she calmed down and nursed.

thursday my sister in law called to take the kids over night friday. evaleigh didn't nurse friday morning because she slept til 8 again. so i figured she may be fine over night and not nursing, and that may help actually with the whole "weaning" thing. and she did fine. and hasn't nursed since last thursday. nor has she wanted to. so we're done.

honestly i'm glad that on thursday when i nursed her i didn't know it would be my last time. it didn't make it sad or anything. just special like it always had been. i think if i would've known it was going to be my last time i would've been sad about it and way too emotional about it. since i was already, ready to be done...then this worked out in the "perfect" weaning sense for us.

my intentions were to wean around a year. and to wean once she started sleeping through til past at least 7. because 7 is a much more appropriate time to wake up. :) i did the same thing with dustin, and his bottles. ((i weaned him before a year, especially with dealing with the 2 miscarriages i'm glad i did)) once he would sleep til 7 or later we went straight downstairs to eat. i guess you could sort of call it "sleep training". i just would nurse evaleigh and lay her back down and she'd go back to sleep. i didn't give her an option to be awake from little on. and because that's how we trained her...that's how she's been sleeping. and now she sleeps til 8. yay. actually all of our kiddos are great sleepers and sleep til 8. i'm not sure how much of it is due to sleep "training" now...but i know i'm thankful for great sleepers!!

my kiddos also go to be around 830. because of shaun's work schedule, and the fact that we homeschool, we don't have to be out of the house by 8...it works best for our family to do an 830 bedtime. i'd much rather have my kiddos spend time with their daddy on one of his late night's then go to bed by 7. you know?

as weird as it feels to be done nursing. forever. i'll never nurse another baby. it also feels "right". like this is the next step of our book. we're done with the nursing chapter. now we're going to pluck away at the next few chapters. slowly but surely all of these things are coming to an end in our house. evaleigh is still crawling, and not quite yet pulling up. but soon those little legs will be standing up next to things. and then it will be more walking than crawling....til there's no more crawling. she'll be my last baby to crawl on our floor.

okay. yes. i may be goofy about it. but i guess until now i never realized how many things that she's going to do the *last* time ever. once she does it for the last time. that's it. no other babies will be doing it here. ((well at least babies out of my womb. lol)) so i'm remembering to pause and smell the roses. and really to do that with all the kiddos.

because amelya,breigh,caitlyn, and dustin are growing fast too. it's about remembering that sometimes you need to throw your plans out or set them aside for awhile and do that puzzle. jump in the pool. color that picture. because all too soon...all of those chapters will be closing too. and if you didn't take the time to do them...you've missed it. you can't go back and re-write the chapter. i mean really *how* important is what's happening on facebook...you did just check it five minutes ago. *how* important is that friend's blog and her kids...you just read it last night.

i'm not saying facebook, or blogs, or whatever is bad. not at all. it's just making sure they don't place priority over the truly important stuff. it's about balance. and then checking that balance every so often. i know for me i'll be doing great...then all of a sudden the balance is getting off track and i need to shove some minutes back on to the important side of the scale and not the computer time. for me the computer can be a huge roadblock in my house work as well. i'll just check this *one* thing...for me...that doesn't work. because all of a sudden it's an hour later and my dishes are still in the sink.

for awhile i was just shutting the computer off. once i had it off for almost 2 weeks. and i survived!! yes i have facebook and email on my phone, so i wasn't completely shut off. but i noticed it was much easier to avoid the computer when it was all the way off. and i'm thinking i need to do it again. or to only allow it on during nap/rest time or when the kids aren't awake. and when they are awake. off it goes. i think it's easier for me to hop on the computer because our computer is right in our dining room. which is open to our living room. so i can see/hear the kiddos all the time. what a lame reason huh? sure i can *see* them....but i need to be WITH them. and sitting on my lap doesn't count. as you can see this really convicts me. badly. and i had a wise friend once say "you're going to do what YOU want to do". and...well it's true for me.

i'm not saying any of this to make tell you that YOU need to do the same thing. i'm saying this because it's on my heart on what i need to change in my life and my walk. because yes...the computer time has gotten in the way of my God time too.

when i blog i let my heart pour out of my fingers. and today it's a heart of *sigh* i DO go on the computer a bit too much when my kiddos are around. or when i haven't read my Bible yet for the day. or when my house isn't how i want it to look. so i guess for me it's closing another chapter...a chapter of crazy. thankfully i can start a new chapter. and i'm sure it'll be a chapter of ups and downs, because i am not perfect. at all.

so yeah. that's that. it feels good to pour out my heart to you all. thanks for listening. :)

PS.the wise friend i was talking about just a bit ago...has a blog. and she's hilarious. i met her the first week we checked out our church, and our friendship as only grown and blossomed since then. she finally took the leap into blogging after hearing me say to someone "i'm a blogger". i must say...now that she is a "blogger" too...she's much better than i am! i love reading her posts. so go check her out...and let  her know i sent you, and leave her some comment love. i know she'd love it!!

9 loving words from you.:

Lindy said...

I agree that I'm glad I didn't know the last time I nursed my youngest. I think it was less painful to just think back and know it was over and something very special. I keep feeling the urge to do something about my use of computer time but I haven't figured out what that is yet. Your post keeps convicting me that I need to figure it out! Thanks.

gruett said...

so many truths and reality in this post. I too will often hop on the computer because he is right there and I should really be there with him doing things. great inspiration and i am glad this all went smoothly for you. it's great to hear others in the same position and let things slide a little. now i better get down on the floor and do that puzzle

Kelli @ RTSM said...

Amanda I love the way you just pour out your thoughts and feeling so easily! I wish I could do that sometimes! I love to read your thoughts and I love that I almost always learn something from you:) Thanks for being so real and honest and for sharing your heart with us!

Ashley said...

i can definitely relate to having the computer completely off and then not going on it. i've found this summer that if my computer is completely off i tend to not feel like turning it on and then don't and then instead of spending hours on the computer, i'm spending hours playing with ayden and it feels so good! because like we all know too well... time is fleeting! great post!

Sarah MP said...

I think this is the best post you've ever done. Tugged at my heart strings and smacked me into reality! Thank you.

Jessica-MomForHim said...

Thanks for your honesty. It helps some of us be honest with ourselves, too. :-)

Jen@Scrapingirl said...

I've been off for two weeks also, and I've survived also!! :) Summer is the time to hang with the kiddos.

Kristin said...

I've been really convicted about computer time in the past few months. But even more, I've felt the pull to spend as much time with my kids as I can. I've done a lot more of the stuff that I used to shrug off-- sitting on the floor with them and listening to their made-up stories that go on and on and on...doing a puzzle, even if we did the same one yesterday...going outside with them instead of staying in the house. I know they are growing and I don't want to wake up some day and realize I missed it.

Holly said...

I don't spend near as much time on the computer that I used to and I'm glad about that. I don't keep up like I used to either but that's ok too. Would still be nice if there were an extra few hrs in
the day ! lol