i don't claim to know it all. i don't claim to be perfect. i just claim to love jesus.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

catching up.

again. it's been forever.
BUT we totally enjoyed last week with shaun home. all week. it was so nice. he has never once taken a week off, and we didn't go anywhere on vacation. we just hung out together as a family. it was so nice.

we also enjoyed our anniversary. my sister in law had told us she'd watch the kiddos for us. and then ended up taking them with my other sister in law and mother in law to a local Christmas parade. the kids loved it. and i loved getting dinner with shaun. before dinner he made a surprise "pit stop". we had already talked about not getting each other big gifts. he was buying a truck so that was sort of our understanding. well he  surprised me by going to sprint first. i hated my cell phone. like really disliked it. hate may be a very strong word. but the thing annoyed me. so he pulled into sprint and said...we're going in there. and you're going to get a new phone.

i was in shock. mainly because i didn't qualify for any discounts yet. and we'd have to be full price. i argued that with him a bit. he looked at me. and said, "submission". so i sumbitted. and we went in to find a phone. i had my eye on an iPhone. but after talking it through with someone at the store, earlier in the week,  i decided to forgo that. then was looking at the EVO's. when a worker came and asked how he could help. i told him to tell me which evo was best. he asked me if i wanted a phone that i would still love 2 years from now. YES!! i did. and he pulled his own phone out of his pocket and suggested the samsung Galaxy S II.

 i played with his, and the store's phone. and loved it. so that's what i went with. i was so blessed by shaun for that. later in the night he told me, how i deserve to be spoiled once in awhile and that i deserved something really nice because of what a great job i do taking care of him and our family. ((side note:: i'm totally spoiled every day...i do not deserve it!)) i also found a cute case for it black friday shopping. ;)

we also were able to go truck shopping for shaun this past saturday. and found a great truck in our price range. and was blessed to be able to write out the check and own the truck. he's the proud owner of a 2004 silverado. a HUGE improvement on his 1997 dodge. lol. we joked that in a few years we could get antique plates for it! but in all seriousness God blessed us with that dodge more than we can say. that thing should've quit working a long time ago. but God saw it through that til we could afford a truck and have no payments.

another huge thing...well way huge to me. and something i haven't really shared on here at all. through the course of my depression/post partum depression i bought a LOT of stuff. i bought it all with credit cards. if i wasn't charging things on my card, i was using shaun's online. i had the numbers memorized. it wasn't til this past summer i realized how bad it was. and how i didn't even know how we were going to be paying for things in the next day, week or month. i called and worked out a payment plan with one card. (i had three, and then shaun's one) and God provided for those payements on all of them. i had no idea why He even should've. i didn't deserve it. after all i was so incredibly unwise with what He had given us to begin with. i also opened up to shaun how bad it was. he knew there was debt, but didn't realize the magnitude of it. when he should've gotten so angry and mad at me. and walked right away from me. (i deserved at least all that) he looked at me. hugged me. and said...it will be okay. ((i didn't deserve that at all. but as Christ loves me and the church, it is how my husband has vowed and promised to love me.)) well last week we were able to talk about the amounts and decide where to put money. and we were able to completely pay off all three of my cards. and a chunk of his. ((we decided that since we were affording his payment easily each month, to keep plugging away on that and use the other money in a different situation, and then in spring/summer next year to pay his off.)) we are blessed to be farmers. we are blessed to have God on our side. and be able to afford making huge payments on things. i know without my farmer husband i would have to work. and we'd be singing a different song about this situation now. i remember being in tears on the way to the bank last week. in awe of everything God has done through me in the past few years, and even more so in the past few month. we serve an amazing God. it was also very nice to be able to bless our church because of how God blessed us. i told shaun without God and without our church i don't know how we would've made it this past year. i would also like to thank my sweet friends for praying these past few months. i felt each and every one of those prayers and thank you for not judging me. for accepting me. for loving me. for that i am grateful.

whew...that got way more serious than i thought or intended! anyways...
i've also learned to crochet in recent weeks. i LOVE it. i have always wanted to learn. and when i mentioned it to a friend she offered to teach me. i was so excited. i've only mastered 3 stitches...but am loving it. i'm hoping to finish up some Christmas gifts with this talent. my problem is that i am way to hard on myself and need to learn to cut myself some slack. i'm slowly getting better at that.  :) and my goal is to make some cute hats and clippies like my friend veronica. ((check out her super cute store!)) i have been working on mainly scarves and wash clothes. you know...easy and straight things! lol. something like veronica's is my goal...isn't it cute!!
and then when i get back to cali to visit her, we can sit outside in the cali sunshine crocheting, giggling, and talking together. which sounds really nice about now on this cold day in wisco. and with snow in the forecast.

my sister had her baby the 19th. it was so weird holding him and thinking how evaleigh was just a bit bigger than him 17 months ago. amazing how time flies! here is me and mr. carson.
it was amazing to me. mainly because i enjoyed seeing/holding/breathing in all the newborn goodness. but had no desire to be holding my own newborn. i've never experienced that feeling before. ever. i've always wanted to be pregnant the second i wasn't. ((okay not THE SECOND...but very soon after)) i always couldn't wait to have my own little baby again. but now. i'm content. i'm completely satisfied. and i know that only God can give those feelings to me.

i truly feel that this feeling of being done, is all from God. and He does tell us when to be done. it's a decision we've prayed about for a long time. since having caitlyn really. because WE thought we were done after having her. clearly God had other plans. ;) and since we've had evaleigh and given ourselves over a year to pray about it...it's amazing at how clear God's plan is for our family. although...i've found myself getting teary eyed as evaleigh has taken steps across our living room in the past few days.

so yes. we're blessed. blessed beyond belief.
i mean seriously...does it get any cuter than this?!
i love them. they helped decorate the tree. i personally LOVE the clumped together ornaments. and the beauty of the smiles in their faces and eyes as they helped. memories are so much more important than a perfect looking tree.

5 loving words from you.:

Veronica said...

Awww, so glad I clicked over from FB to read your post! You are too kind to share! :) I was starting to wonder lately if I should even be in business again. Seems like I lost all my customers after shutting down last year. It was for a good reason so I shouldn't get down about that!

I'm so excited you got a new phone and just kinda bummed it's not an iPhone. I LOVE mine but at the same time I have heard some great things about the EVO.

I'm so happy the Lord worked things out with clearing your debt. That is so amazing! Yay for your new baby nephew too! He is so cute and looks like a big healthy boy! :)

Stephanie said...

I just love this post, because I can see God working in your heart and in your lives. Isn't it amazing how He knows all our failures and faults...and STILL chose to die on the cross for us? Wow. And the fact that He blesses us when we don't deserve it? Even MORE amazing! I've found so many times in the past few years that He always meets me where I am and that His grace has been MORE than sufficient for me. I honestly don't know WHAT I'd do without Him.

And I love that you've taken up a new hobby. I've been rekindling my own hobby of scrapbooking and hopefully sewing soon too. When my depression/anxiety were at their worst, I felt no desire to do anything that used to give me joy. I would look at my sewing machine and want to cry, because I had no motivation to do what I loved to do. But, now, I'm ENJOYING life again and I'm remembering who I am again. Don't get me wrong...I still struggle. But He's giving me victory one day at a time.

Alicia The Snowflake said...

oh, how incredibly sweet! What a great picture! And Happy Anniversary! I pray many more blessed years for the two of you!

Steve Finnell said...

you are invited to follow my blog

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

Even though you completely feel "done" at this time ... that your family is complete .. I hope/pray that you won't take permanent action on that feeling. We never know what God has planned for us down the road.

I am SO GLAD that we didn't "stop" after "just 6" kids. Seriously. Those 6 are now grown and gone, and I cannot imagine having an empty nest. Oh my! I am BLESSED to have 6 more at home. So blessed!

But ... we didn't set out to have a dozen children. Oh. My. No. We wanted 6. We had our first 6 in 6 years. We were very content. We wondered if we were done. Then ... God changes our minds.

We had 7 children. We thought we were done. My husband told everyone, "7 is God's perfect number". Then ... God changed our hearts and minds.

Every single one of our children is a BLESSING. Every child is God's GIFT to us. Every child is HIS design.

Now ... I am NOT saying that you need to have a dozen children. I'm not even saying not to use some type of temporary birth control. I'm just wanting to encourage you to allow God to determine how many you have in the end.


mother of 12
ages 9, 10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 21, 22, 22, 24, 26, 27