back at it

i think i posted on here awhile ago when i was "off" the workout wagon. well i am FINALLY back on it. it was about a month ago i decided "next week" i will start. "next week" finally came this past saturday.

for awhile i was just not in the mood to work out. but yet felt all fat and down about it. obviously nothing can make you do anything about that if you're not willing. i clearly, was not willing. til last week. when my pants started getting tight. *that* had never happened to me before, while not being pregnant. i was really overwhelmed by it made sure i was always wearing something that could cover my belly or pull over my belly while standing. i have never felt "fat" before. i've felt like i needed to change, but never fat. and it wasn't a fun feeling at all.

i cried about it. got mad about it. vented to shaun about it. shaun didn't know what to do/say, mainly because what can you say? i love him so much though, he encouraged me to work out again. and on saturday afternoon he asked me if i was going to do that during rest time. i had no excuse for him. so i did the work out. and fell back in love with it. today is my "rest day" but i've worked out each day since saturday. and will continue it.

even though i had measured myself last month and was unhappy with the results i didn't care enough to do anything. when i re-measured on saturday i was scared. i had only gained one pound in the month, but gained INCHES not just one. but two-three in the past month. after i got over the inital "OH MY WORD" factor...i sucked it up...and in. ;) and went with it. i'm also pleased to report since saturday i've already lost parts of an inch. i've lost almost a half an inch in my waist and a quarter of an inch in my legs. i know the work IS truly worth it.

outside of working out, i'm also back to doing shakeology. i totally put this on the back burner as well. so i've been doing a shake a day for breakfast since saturday too. i really love the shakeology. i do the chocolate, and they just came out with strawberry, that i really want to try. ((and if you didn't know i'm a coach with beachbody, and you can buy shakeology or workouts through me :) ))

and in addition to all of that...i feel better. even though i still feel like i look the same, i'm feeling better ABOUT myself. that feels nice. i also have more energy. and it's so nice. it's amazing how much just one little thing can change you. turbo fire is a great addition to my day again. i'm wondering WHY i ever quit?!!?

i leave for california in about 50 days. (woooo hoooo!!) my goal is to lose 15 pounds by then. to get back to where i was close to a few months ago. i was down to 163...and now i'm back up to 175. i was getting consumed with the numbers, and it was not good. and i think it made  me feel worse and almost not care even more.((you know like you seriously when you're thinking, if i just get fat enough i can get on biggest loser and lose the weight...it is NOT a good thing. i'm ashamed to admit that this thought crossed through my  mind for a very split second))

like i said, shaun is awesome. instead of trying to tell me "honey you aren't fat. i love you just they way you are." when he knew how upset i was, he encouraged me to change. to workout. to skip the ice cream. etc. i love him. he truly is the best enourager. and i'm so thankful for that. :)

so if i bore you with workout talk, i'm sorry. but i hope to keep you updated on at least where i am/how i'm doing. it keeps me accountable that way. and maybe i can inspire someone else who needs i kick in the bum, to get up and workout.