i don't claim to know it all. i don't claim to be perfect. i just claim to love jesus.

Saturday, May 03, 2008


saturday!! yay!! and shaun has off. he's outside getting the duals on the tractor. he told me this morning that if he would've known it wasn't going to be raining he would have brought the skid steer home so we could pick stones. stones need to be picked...and as soon as possible. i'm nervous to drive the skid steer though. i've never driven it. i've only driven the tractor. it's crazy being in control of such a huge machine to me. i'm always freaked out that i'm not going to stop or something. anywho. the girls are excited to help too. amelya picked out some 'gardening' gloves at walmart the other day...pink barbie ones...and is all excited because she can wear them when she picks stones. i kind of like raising 'farm girls' she won't be afraid to work. i don't think she'll be as big of a wimp as i was and still can be too. i want to raise tough girls. don't mess with me type of kids. ones who stand up for themselves and for what they believe and who don't conform to the world. i try to do my best. it's all i can do. raising kids is a HUGE responsibility and sometimes i wonder why i was worthy enough to receive it. but boy am i glad i did!! i wouldn't trade my girlies for a single thing. i try to be the bestest mommy i can be and then leave the rest up to god. for only he can change their hearts. i can tell them lots and 'feed' them lots, but it's up to god to do the actual work. i do my best to not lie to them-at all. i think i have been doing a pretty good job. not lying means telling them there is no such thing as santa, as the easter bunny, etc etc etc. now some people, even fellow believers, see no problems with continuing to do these things. but then i have to ask why? when my girls are five or six and tell some other kid there is no santa, i will not yell at them. they are being honest with their friend. then their friend is going to have to deal with ultimately the betrayal from their own mommy and daddy. maybe it isn't a 'big deal' to lie to your kid about the 'small things'. but then what happens when they lie to you about the 'big things'. you have only taught them by example it was okay to lie about some stuff. it isn't okay though. i want my girls to know that i have never lied to them. i want them to be able to trust that everything i tell them is true and real. they shouldn't have to doubt the people who raise them. i've run into other people who will say something to amelya that isn't true, and i've outed them. i say don't lie to her. it's interesting to note that their countenance changes and they don't lie to her then. don't waste your time lying to your kids, or anyone for that matter. we don't do halloween either. i didn't even have to struggle with this decision. do you know what halloween REALLY is? and REALLY stands for? ulitmately it is a satanic holiday celebrated by REAL witches. i HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend the video "Halloween: Trick or Treat?" it is NOT for children at all. in fact shaun could not even watch the whole thing because of how scary it was. they talk to ex-real witches who share the things they do on halloween night. do you know they sacrifice REAL babies and children?!? all in the name of satan. scary. so why then do people who don't worship satan and are in church sunday morning before taking their children trick or treating STILL celebrating this 'holiday'? now again people could say it's no big deal. but it IS a big deal. even carving pumpkins have satanic meanings. i am NOT going to be a part of ANYTHING to do with halloween. ever. my kids may be invited to dress up parties on halloween and i could say it's okay we don't believe in the 'real meaning' anyways. but then it is okay to do other things too. no it's not. it is not all in fun. it is a very very real and scary thing. i have access to the video. if you are interested in just becoming more educated i recommend watching it...then making your own decisions after. because we are left with that free will choice. which sometimes gets us where we should not be. you may be thinking then what fun do your kids have? my kids have loads of fun. doing loads of okay stuff.you do not have to believe in santa to be excited about your presents on christmas morning. you do not have to believe in halloween to enjoy candy or playing dress up. my girls do that all year round. don't do something because that is what everyone is doing. research the facts. decide if it's what you should be doing. this got pretty personal today...like it hasn't before right. but in all respect...thanks for reading. have a snowflakes you can catch with your tongue kind of day. :) amanda

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