i don't claim to know it all. i don't claim to be perfect. i just claim to love jesus.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

tuesday already

is it just me or does it seem that the weeks go by even faster when you're 'older'. as a kid the weeks never went this fast, especially at this time of year waiting for school to be over with for the summer. and then when summer came it flew by. that's one thing that still hasn't changed. summer still seems to fly by.
i know the girls are excited to just get outside and play. today i think the weather is looking pretty decent, so maybe we'll get a chance today. we had a busy day yesterday, after mom's group we went over to my mom's house and to walmart. we took a short walk at my mom's house, just around a few blocks, i was only wearing flip flops. that were a super cute gift from my girls for mother's day. i love to get gifts from them because i know they picked out whatever they wanted to get me. i got a pink and black pair from amelya and a blue pair from breigh. they also each gave me an orchid plant. shaun gave me a computer program but he thought it was the one i had been wanting but i was one like i already have. so he told me to return it and get the one i wanted. i really want a GOOD photo editing program. i didn't get anything yet, i would like to do some research and find out which one is the 'best' for someone who doesn't necessarily know a whole lot.
well i've been thinking about writing about me and shaun. you know how we got all our babies, but have no idea about the love story behind it. ;) and we'll be together for NINE years next week so i thought i could fill you in on that part of my life. if you don't mind, or if you don't already know it.
let's see it all started at a sweetheart dance nine years ago. shaun is cousins somehow with my friend emily, and the same age as her brother. emily decided she should dance with shaun and her friend kim should dance with her brother. it was like the last dance of the night or something. so that's what they did.
then emily came up to me and said shaun wants to dance with you. i didn't even know him or really who he was, but i said okay.
(as a side note all shaun did was ask emily about me because he noticed me at a grocery store i worked at with a friend of his and emily said i'll be right back and i came walking up to him)
so we had a little dance. he asked me if i was having fun and i said sure. he said what kind of answer is that. lol.
soooo the following monday in school emily said shaun liked me. i was kind of 'school girl' excited. but i didn't really know him and he was a senior and i was a sophomore so we really didn't see each other in classes or anything.
so i know it was february when we danced and i don't remember really chatting much after that. one thing i did know was that shaun met his friend after band class every day. so i tried to make sure i talked to his friend and walked up the stairs with him so i could see shaun. (a side note shaun purposely made sure he waited for his friend so he could see me, we didn't know any of this til after we were together)
so prom was coming, in may. but in march/april shaun called my house AND left a message on the answering machine. with his friends laughing in the background. i don't even remember what the message said, i was impressed the guy LEFT a message.
the talk of prom kept coming up and rumor was shaun was going to ask me. the plan was he was going to ask me and his friend was going to ask my friend. it'd be a nice double and not too awkward. so one day my friend said shaun was going to come to my house at lunch and ask me! i was so nervous, especially because the door bell rang when i was home on lunch. it wasn't him. but he was there after lunch by my locker and asked me to prom.
i of course said yes.
so i was super excited to have a prom date. it was the first time ever i just had a date and not a 'boyfriend'.
we talked on the phone a few times before prom and of course saw each other in school. prom day came, my aunt did my hair and i loved my pretty blue dress. (by the way my original friend didn't go with shaun's friend, but another one did) shaun picked me up and we took a few pictures at my house. then we went to a whole bunch of other people's house to take pictures. including shaun's. i got to meet his mom, who hugged me. it was different but nice for me to be hugged by a stranger really.
we went out to eat at chili's and then got ice cream at culver's. there was a whole group of us so it was a kind of nice way to have a 'first date'.
funny story from chili's after supper i was putting on chapstick and shaun asked me how was it. i said i'm addicted to it (chapstick). and he was totally talking about MY FOOD!! i got embarassed and said oh the chicken was good!! lol. too funny. and shaun doesn't remember that. i will NOT forget it.
so prom went well. we danced and after prom went to his cousin's house for a bonfire. it was a nice time.
one thing i do remember thinking is that he laughed goofy. but i can't describe it and he doesn't do it now, so i think it must've been a nervous laugh type thing.
the next weekend shaun and i went to a movie with his cousin and his girlfriend. bad movie but fun time.
the weekend after that he came over to my house and we watched a movie. much better movie, but as we were watching it shaun remembered that he had already seen it...lol...because HE HELPED PICK IT OUT!! boys.
i'm sure we talked on the phone a little too during the week but i don't remember.
the next friday at school my friend emily was in the middle of telling me 'guess who's going to ask you out if you do something this weekend?' then standing right behind her was SHAUN. but he didn't hear her and emily and i just started laughing so he wouldn't know. well he asked if i wanted to go do something after work that night. so we did.
all night i was so nervous because i THOUGHT he was going to ask me out.
shaun is the first guy i ever dated before we were 'together' it was kind of nice.
so we're driving home and he asks me a block before my house!! if i would go out with him. now mind you i was also trying all night to decide how to answer him: yes, sure, yeah, hey why not...etc etc. so i said yes. and he says...really?. i said yes.
then i was at home and that was that. but i was so super excited.
soooooooooo we talked on the phone a lot and saw each other in school. which we only had a few weeks left.
i always remember him telling me before i left i like you, a lot. i thought that was so cool because instead of saying i love you. he said i like you a lot. and he let the like turn into love.
so a few weeks later was his graduation. we had our picture taken and put our arms around each other. :) awww.
before graduation we had held hands. i remember sitting on the couch and he gradually moved his hand over and wrapped his pinkie around mine and then eventually we were holding hands. (one thing you must know shaun is shy, very shy. his mom ran into my mom once and said he must really like her because he actually talks on the phone to her)
so after i went to my cousins grad party shaun called me and we went to dairy queen for some ice cream with his friend. then after that his friend wanted to drive his car and shaun sat in the back seat with me. shaun tells me now this was not 'staged' but i so thought it was. anyways. we had our first kiss then. shaun also says i kissed him. i thought he wanted too because he was looking at me so i just turned and kissed him. he says i was just looking at you. he did that a lot. just stared at me. which i secretly liked but was NOT about to tell him then.
a month or so(i think it was july...i could look it up but i won't) later we had our first i love yous. something else we talked about was not having sex until we were married. shaun told me that really on in our relationship when i wasn't even thinking about it. when we talked about it we were never even close to being at the point of thinking about it. i think that was a good thing because of course later on in the relationship when it could have happened we were able to say no.
we made the decision to wait.
i am not saying it was easy to wait and we struggled, but i am also happy to say that we did wait. we always were doing stuff together and if we weren't together we talked on the phone a lot. during that summer my mom and i had a huge fight. it really bugged me and i was really upset about it. and shaun had a 100 curfew.
i didn't have one at all. so we went to a going away party for an afs student and when he was dropping me off he wouldn't let me leave until i talked about what was wrong with me. i was in shock...he cared!
he wanted to know!
it was that night i KNEW there was something different about this shy boy.
i was also having a really hard time with my before mentioned friend. long story short we ended a very long term friendship over something i don't even remember now. shaun cared and asked me all the time about that stuff. i think shaun came camping with us over summer or when i got home we did something together. i
loved being with him.
his friend did lots of stuff with us too. i didn't mind, it was fun to hang out with him too. my junior year was just around the corner. at the end of sophomore year i had a friend sign my yearbook that i hadn't talked to in a long time. again something i don't remember now ended our friendship. so over the summer i had emailed her too and we were talking again. it is the before mentioned mommy friend i have still. anyways.
i don't remember much about junior year besides prom. my friend wanted to go with this guy from her church and i made her ask him to prom. it took some prodding from me but she finally did it and we all went to prom together. (side note they are MARRIED and have a BABY(major update 11/21/08 they are having a SECOND BABY) now)
prom was fun with them. we went out to eat and mini golfing. our one year anniversary was coming up and shaun was starting a new job working for his uncle. i was getting upset because i didn't know if we were going to be able to see each other. but we were. yay!
the summer between my junior and senior year changed me. shaun's aunt invited me to a bible study. i went. i had been searching out something and thought it would help. i went to the study and that is where i made a decision to have a personal relationship with jesus. however not a whole lot changed with my and my attitude.
i blame most on me but also my home life, they were against a lot of things they thought 'different' 'weird' etc. so i wasn't able to make my walk much of a walk until college.
anyways. shaun's mom and sisters also went to the bible study too. shaun was still trying to figure things out. and deal with his dad. i am the first person shaun ever talked to about his dad. he cried and i cried. anyways.
senior year went well. we still did lots of stuff together and called each other. i had decided to go to uw-oshkosh the next year for a degree in elementary education and special education. i have a heart for special needs people. i worked in the CD room for two years of high school and LOVED it. the whole summer before college i almost dreaded it.
leaving shaun.
but it came and i went.
and bawled.
i hated being away from him.
i lived with a girl from chilton so i thought that would help. it really didn't. although in college i could walk like i should be with jesus. i started attending intervarsity christian fellowship. i joined the worship team and had a blast. i went home from school every weekend to see shaun. and talked to him every night on the phone before bed. even if it was only for a few minutes we talked. every sunday (except the last one of the year) i cried when shaun brought me back to my room.
i tried my hardest to wait until after he left to cry. because he'd be crying too. but we stuck it out and sooner then later the year was over. i did enjoy my year of classes and i tutored and had a 'little sister' through big brothers/big sisters. i also made a good friend. that helped me through stuff. i attended a few bible studies and enjoyed it a lot. when i would be home i attended the bible study i mentioned before.
i was making my walk more important and the MOST important even more important than shaun, which it should be.
that summer i worked at a daycare my dad's cousin ran. as the summer drew to a close i started to get ready to go back to school. i was dreading every second of it.
as i tried to plan stuff nothing was working out. i couldn't find a phone i wanted, the computer would not work every time i tried to order a loft. i talked about it and prayed about it and decided it was god closing the door and i shouldn't be going back.
my parents supported my decision all the way. i was able to keep my position at the day care and loved my job.
in september shaun's aunt started talking to me about my relationship with shaun. how we were 'unequally yolked'.
which we were.
but up to that point i hadn't cared.
i should have but didn't.
i struggled with this a lot but ulitmately made the decision to end my relationship with shaun if he didn't do what he needed.
(what he need was to make that decision to have a relationship with jesus)
the time came for shaun and i to talk.
i cried he cried.
and in the end he accepted jesus and has never looked back.
we had already been going to church together. he went before he 'got saved'. and then he started coming to bible study on tuesdays. it was so awesome.
our relationship changed so much for the better. i felt more complete than ever.
in january shaun proposed. nothing romantic at all, but that's okay. he gave me the ring i had wanted forever.(and for our FIVE year anniversary got me a bigger diamond)
we decided to get married in november. on the 22nd. it was our four and a half year anniversary.
we got married so quick because we didn't live together until our wedding night and i so wanted to just be with him already!!
the wedding planning went okay. i didn't care about all the little details. all i wanted was to be married and start our lives together as one.
about a month before our wedding my grandma died. that was really hard for me. my grandma was my babysitter growing up. shaun helped me through a lot of it. i was sad my grandma couldn't be there at my wedding, but god had better plans for her.
so we got married at calvary chapel in appleton. our pastor from bible study was able to marry us there.
(we meet in our pastor's basement so it was easier to get married in the church)

so i guess there are some things missing from our little love story...like the fights we had,
or the one where he left and didn't come back,
but called,
the love notes he left me on my car,
and the silly names he had for me...bunny. i don't even know why he called me that.
i try to keep the romance in our marriage though.

we'll be married five years this november. i can't believe it. we've been through so much in a short period of time. i make sure we hold hands when we can, cuddle after the girls go to bed, and most important to us praying together. we're still doing the couple's devotional before bed. we're laughing more than ever and i love hearing his response to the questions at the end.
i HIGHLY recommend doing devotionals together. ours is good. it's songs in the key of solomon. under it it says (in the word and in the mood) good book for guys. lol. and girls too i guess.
we're still going to that church in a basement and still loving every minute of it. i have gone on a long time about this. but now you know. :) is there anything you don't know? lol. oh well. so til next time. have a perfectly manicured day. :) amanda

**update** i totally spaced things out for you who are coming from my november 21st post. it used to be one big paragraph. and hard to read!! but anywho hope you enjoyed it!!

1 loving words from you.:

The Johnson Family said...

Okay so it took me two days to read this blog with children running around but it sure does sould like you and Shaun were made for eachother!