pictures...for real...no checking facebook this time baby!

DUSTIN at TWO MONTHS: 13 lbs 4 ounces and 25 inches long!! my biggest and longest baby at that age!

here's one of dustin's pics i took yesterday. on his TWO month birthday. cannot believe it. it's totally not centered or anything...but he just smiled and i had to snap. so i did. and hey i think it still turned out cute! he's changed so much in these past two months. and i'm still getting used to saying 'he' and having extra parts to worry about during diaper changes. he's brought so much joy to our family...like all of our babies have. and i could not imagine our life without him. as much as a 'surprise' his pregnancy was...i wouldn't change a second of any of it. and heck..i'm love these 'surprises' god throws at us! i'm just praying it's awhile before we're 'surprised' again. you know like nine months at least. there has not been a stretch longer than that since we've been married where i HAVEN'T been pregnant! isn't that crazy???!!! but like i said i LOVE it. and would not want it any other way. because i know there are women out there who would give anything to be pregnant one time. so i will never complain about these precious babies of mine...because i know they are such beautiful and precious gifts from my loving god the father.

and because breigh wanted her picture taken...there is one of the two of them. i love the look on dustin's face! my little breigh is getting too big too. her words are clearer everyday. but thankfully even though she's growing up she still has time for my lap and her naps! she's a bear without her nap. like her mommy she enjoys her sleep!! which thankfully dustin has been giving to me...it was almost SIX AM before he woke up this morning!!! woo hoo!!

my amelya. wow. she'll be FOUR in march. i made her FOUR YEAR check up yesterday. where have the past four years gone?!? they've flown by. she's my little 'mini-me' that's for sure. she's full of love and sometimes an attitude...just like me. mostly it's good. and i think she's starting to get a grasp on jesus. and to have him in her heart. and to live her life for him. i can't wait til the day she fully gets it. and prays the prayer. i'm SO excited to see god change their lives...and i'm SO excited i've been given the opportunity to share christ with them! and my caity bug. what a dare devil!! she loves to climb. and found this present to climb on. good thing it was amy's microwave inside. nice and sturdy!! :0) caitlyn knows NO FEAR. that scares me. the ottoman...a moving ottoman...is her favorite thing to climb on. and sit on. and sometimes attempt to stand on! kid is crazy! and i LOVE that about her. she is interested in how things work and i can't wait to see what she'll discover next. :0)the family. what a beautiful thing. my husband works so hard to provide for us. sometimes i find myself not liking his job too much...like on sunday when he was on call and missed half of the presents being opened because of being on the phone...with someone who didn't know how to open the door...seriously people! i try hard to not get mad at him for it. it isn't his fault for the 'stupidity' of others. but the job frustrates me. he works way too much. with no overtime pay. and is expected to do it with a smile. and that he does. because he truly knows that he is working for the lord and not for man. good thing! because i know that when we get to heaven he isn't going to expect a man to put in over 14 hours of work in...in ONE DAY...and then be back to work by FOUR AM the next morning. sorry to complain. you see i won't complain about my beautiful babies...but i'll complain about their daddy's job. yet there are so many people out there without jobs. so i'm sorry. i'm sorry to complain. i'm sorry if you don't have a job. it's just frustrating to not have husband time.

maybe that's truly what it is. we allow the girls to stay up til eight thirty every night. sometimes a tad earlier...or later...just so they can get that time in with daddy. but then my husband is tired and usually falls asleep on the couch after they go to bed. so we rarely get that 'us' time. the 'us' time i need. and i want. our prayer time is in desperate need of resuscitation. it has pretty much been non-existent lately. have i talked to him about this? oh yes. loads of times. but apparently the tiredness is too much to handle and therefore our prayer suffers. and then our relationship suffers. and then because that is suffering the other stuff that comes with that...well is even more non existent. and i HATE it. i'm being brutally honest here. this may be something i would have chosen to leave out before. but i can't. i need prayer. my husband needs prayer. and now i'm finally asking for it. i'm sick of being on this crazy rollarcoaster. i'm sick of looking 'good'. i want to look and feel that way. i need to change my attitude too. part of me just doesn't want to care. it's easy to not care. i'm sick of taking the easy way out. i'm sick of being mean to my husband when i hate his job or his sleepiness. i'm sick of it all. so my friends. i'm asking you to pray for me. because i can't change him, or the job. i can only allow god to change my heart and keep that stinky enemy out. because i KNOW i've been letting him win for a little too long. marriage is a hard thing. but so worth every second of it. and marriage is something worth fighting for. love isn't easy. but it's worth fighting for. so fight for your marriage. fight for love. because it's better than the alternative. i'm not saying i've been thinking about the alternative. not one bit. but people do. and give in to it. way to easily. so i'll keep working on this marriage thing. because when i quit. well it ain't good. and if it ain't good...i'm not good...or happy. so i'll let my loving father, god, work on me. and us. and i'm going to let him do what he needs to do to me. and quit praying for others to change. because it needs to be me. willing and ready. and now i've finally admitted it. i'm willing. and ready. and i can not wait.

wow. i think this is as personal as i've gotten in awhile. but i'm not going to pretend i have this perfect beautiful life. what i have is a beautiful life. and god is slowly working on perfecting it. but it truly won't be 'perfect' til christ comes back and takes us home. i'm a work in progress. and it's just up to me to let god do that work. because i can fight it...but it just doesn't work anymore. i'm done fighting. i'm done letting the enemy win certain battles. because truly the battle belongs to the lord...and you know what...HE WINS. we win. it's all good. because god is good. all the time. and all the time...god is good. i'm not denying that. i believe that. believe it with me my friends. it's the only 'hope' we have in this world.

so if i don't get a chance to post before christmas...MERRY CHRISTMAS! but i may have a chance to post tomorrow..shaun has to work. and we don't have to be anywhere til supper. so we'll see. hope you enjoyed the 'real' pictures...and no links today! :0)