it works for me.

hmmm. this post may be controversial to some. to me. it is what works. for me.

as a mom (well rather as parents) i think we are faced with tons of choices. and each choice has an opposite. it seems to me that if you choose one half the world agrees, if you choose the other half the world disagrees.

this post has been forming in my mind for awhile i think. last night/today it has come to light. you see on facebook there was some commenting being done a friends status. she tried having her baby 'cry it out'. it brought to light both ends of the spectrum. people like me who have done it, and it worked. and another who said this:

"It really is normal for babies to wake that often...ones that sleep through the night at his age (the baby is a little younger than dustin) (or, gasp, even younger) have been 'trained' to realize that noone is going to tend to their needs and they give up and sleep though the hunger/pain/lonely/etc...no offense...."

so because i'm me. i was totally offended. and hurt. i'll explain my 'cry it out' style. when amelya was about nine-ish months old we were rocking her to sleep every night. shaun worked late hours and that was 'his' time with her. i was already pregnant with breigh and said that we should probably just start putting her to bed by herself, because in a few short months we'd have two babies. so i learned a 'trick' from super nanny. and it worked for us. the trick was this. the first night i layed amelya in her bed awake. she cried. i didn't pick her up. but i said mommy's right here. rubbed her back. and stood by her crib until she was asleep. which was probably in about five minutes. the next night i did the same thing. except i stood a bit further away from her bed. gradually i moved further away each night and would always re-assure her i was there. by the end of the week, five days really, she was laying in her bed and asleep without crying. for me it was 'easy'. i let her cry, but also let her know i was there.

all four of my kids have slept through the night, or at least til five AM at around six weeks. (i have been SO blessed) around three months old i try to get them on a night time schedule. they're usually eating around eight or nine. so after that feeding while they're tired and still awake i layed them in their bassinet and they fell asleep by themselves. none of them have ever cried actually. (well maybe sometimes, but i would always check on them and comfort them until they stopped) at four months dustin goes to bed the same way. sure some nights he is awake for a bit talking and cooing, but he always ends up asleep with in ten minutes or so after being in bed.

during the night if anyone wakes up i usually wait about 30 seconds. to see if they're really awake or just fussing in their sleep. and to see if shaun gets up first!! lol. i never just 'ignore' it. dustin slept great last night, til almost five. i gave him his duck and nuk and he cuddled the duck and went right back to sleep. i never ignore my children. i do let them 'fuss' but never for a super long time. because 'it works for me'.

i choose to cloth diaper. because it works for me. do i judge you because you use disposables? nope. i don't care. i used them. cloth has been working for me, and now i am truly addicted. do i talk too much about them sometimes? mmm. probably. for that i will apologize! but i will not apologize for the choice i've made to do cloth. does my mil pretty much let me know non-verbally how much she disagrees? yep. but i don't let that affect MY choice.

i choose to breastfeed. it works for me. do i judge you for bottle feeding? for not trying to breastfeed? for supplementing? nope. i don't care. i've supplemented. i've bottle fed. i've only nursed my oldest for nine months, and the others less because i was pregnant and exhausted. do i care if you want to breastfeed your two year old? nope. i don't. i do what works for me. you do what works for you.

i choose to vaccinate my kids. it works for me. do i judge you for not vaccinating yours? no. it works for me.

i choose to give birth in a hospital without epidurals. it works for me. do i judge you for being {so brave} to have a home birth? no. with an epidural? never. i considered it with two of my labors. it work(ed) for me.

i choose to raise my babies in a christian household. i choose to share christ with them. it works for me. do i judge you for not? no. do i wonder why not? yes.

i am choosing to homeschool my children. do i judge you for sending yours to school? nope. it {lord willing} will work for me. ((my plan is to homeschool all the way through high school))

i choose to not co-sleep. do i care if you share a bed? no. do i think it may make good birth control for us? maybe. :0) our babies sleep in the bassinet next to our bed until they get too big for it. {{so apparently being in the same room isn't good bc}} and then move on into their rooms. which speaking of dustin's room hasn't even been started! yikes. he's getting to be almost too big for the bassinet already!!

i choose to be sometimes strict with my rules for my kiddos. it works for me. do i judge you for letting your child rule you? no. do i think it's a bit silly? yes. but it's your choice.

we all have choices. all choices have consequences. i think we have to be 'parent' enough to make those choices and take the consequences. good or bad. i think we also have to learn to not judge others. i do my best not to. if your choices don't affect me personally...make them. if your choices are going to affect me...i may have a say in it. only because i need to look out for me.

the bible has a scripture about 'training' your child. it's the way i want to parent.

PROVERBS 22:6::Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.::

if anything at all...i want to train my child in the way he should go. god's way.

maybe you don't agree with my choices. but how about this? let's just agree to diagree. and still be friends. because that my friends is how this place works.

thanks for reading. feel free to share. just be nice. i don't care if you disagree...i do care if you aren't nice.