i don't claim to know it all. i don't claim to be perfect. i just claim to love jesus.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

perfect unperfectness

i've never once claimed to be pefect. in fact it says it up on top. so when i got a comment on my post yesterday (which by the way read first if you haven't, because otherwise this may not make any sorts of sense...i'll wait don't worry) i'll break apart the comment and 'explain' myself a bit.

While I appreciate your passion for such topics, I am a bit concerned that a facebook status sparked a nerve in you.

i never said i was 'mad' at the fb status/comment. i was hurt that i was being accused of letting my child be lonely. i never ever want my children to feel lonely. i also said i had, "had this post forming in my head for quite awhile". basically since i started cloth diapering and totally felt judged by people close to me for it. so i kept forming in my head all the different views and that's where the post came from. so the fb comment didn't 'spark a nerve', it just gave me more inspiration for my post.

You have four beautiful children and while you proclaim to own your blog and you can say what you wish to say, I have some comments.

let me hear 'em.

I want to first say that I believe baby’s are self-soothers, hence attachments to soft blankets, cuddly animals and thumb sucking. However, when a baby is hungry, hurting, or in need of a cuddle, their cries tend to be different than going to bed without a rocking or back rub.

which i totally agree with. and i said i always wait and see if they're really awake and need me or not. with dustin when he wakes up fussy i try and give him his nuk first to see if he's really hungry or just fussing. if he doesn't take the nuk and cries i know he's hungry. usually the first time he wakes up he's just awake and takes his nuk and duck and goes back to sleep. {i've also figured out that by rocking the bassinet a bit helps too...i'll have one super strong forearm pretty soon!!}


Now, although I do not condone what you friend said about “ignoring” her child, I do have to question the context of whish she stated her expressions. Because if you are going merely on stated words, you could be accused of “ignoring” your child as well. For example, this is what you posted in your previous post about spring, “i ignore him as long as i can”. Now, going based on words, you typed the same thing. Now, the context of which you stated those words, and the mindset you expressed those words in was not “harmful” as you are merely trying to figure out his schedule.

i never said the girl said i ignored my child. she never said she doesn't ignore her child. i just said i never 'ignore' them. and 'mary' i don't know if you're a regular reader or just someone who happened by recently. but you have at least read two of my posts. and i'm 'assuming' that you read them each in one sitting to catch my words.

i did type i 'igonore him as long as i can. but it's hard to do when he's in the bassinet next to our bed'. and right before that i said that he isn't fussing, but just awake. i left out the fact that he's talking up a storm. cooing to no end. and it's hard to ignore, because frankly it's too darn cute to listen to. maybe i should've used a different word than ignore. but really i guess that is what i try to do. 'ignore' it and try to get a few more minutes of sleep. ((i also think it is important to read the text before and after that statement i made. you need to take the whole thing in context, not just certain sentances that 'work'))

i could be accused then of ignoring the girls as well. because when they all wake up together and are happy and talking. i always leave them in their room. i sit and listen to their laughs and giggles. so yes i guess i 'ignore' them.

when my kids whine i say this "i'm not going to listen to you whine. talk to be nicely". so then again. i guess i'm 'ignoring' them.

when one of the kids poo and i smell it. i try to see if shaun may smell it first. so i guess then i 'ignore' them. it usually doesn't last too long though because i just get up anyways. it's worth the shot!

so yes. sometimes i may 'ignore' my children. but i NEVER ignore them when they are in need of me. {maybe the poopy diaper is a thing where they 'need' me...but it gets changed within a minute of smelling it}

Therefore, you may feel that it is expressed in a manner which “works” for you, even though you expressed the same words as your friend did. Therefore, I beg for you to be watchful of what you say, because while you are “pointing the finger” in the direction of someone, you could be looking into the mirror as you do it.

as i said, my 'friend' never said ignore. so i guess that doesn't really matter now. i don't feel i was pointing fingers at anyone. if i do ever point fingers it is at myself. so i am always looking in the mirror. like way to go mom your kid is crying because you blew it and yelled at them. way to go mom you overdrafted the checkbook...again. way to go mom your kids watch way too much tv. way to go mom your kids don't eat too healthy. way to go mom your house is never super clean. way to go mom...YOU'RE HUMAN. yep. i am. like i said i'm not perfect. i screw up. i blame myself A LOT! but thankfully god forgives all my mistakes with the blood of my savior jesus.

i just said what works for me. and if some one chooses differently i don't care. so i don't feel how i was pointing fingers anywhere. i was just sharing that we all parent differently. and each way is fine and dandy if it works for you.

i do try and be watchful of what i say. BUT i will not hold back anything about my relationship with christ. and nor will i apologize for it. and like 'mary' said, i proclaim to 'own' my blog. which i do. and i have the right to believe and share what i'd like. right? truthfully if you don't like it. then why are you still reading? when i first started blogging i had like three people reading. that didn't stop me from writing. i don't blog to get more followers or more hits. i blog because i want to sometimes vent, or just be funny{in my own world i guess} or to just ramble.

And as a mother who is trying to “train” her children to be followers of God, maybe their “trainer” should be more conscious of the context in which words are expressed and value a person’s efforts in trying to be the best person they can be with or without the watchful eye of God. Many blessings to you and yours!

this is the only part of the comment that was like hmmm. as my children's 'trainer' i do the best with what i've been given. but like i already admitted i screw up. and i like my children to see that yep, even mom screws up. i just make sure they see it and can learn from it. everything in life is a learning experience. i think i am pretty conscious of the context of my words. sure maybe i used ignore in different ways. but love could be used the same way...do you love to eat as much as you love your husband? no. it's different. waaaaaaaaaay different. or at least it should be. so i'm not going to apologize for how i used the word ignore. and considering the girl never used the word, it really isn't an issue i guess.

i don't think i should have to go back and re-read all my posts before posting a new one. so maybe i say "i ignore him as long as a can" and then the next day i say "i never ignore my children" and both of those statements are true. just like i love to eat jellybeans. and i love shaun. both of those statements mean way different things. but are way true.

because i'm choosing to raise our babies in a christian household they will learn god is always watching them. and that god is watching every single person, whether or not that person believes it. because i also teach them god loves every single person. whether or not that person believes it. if god loves everyone he is also watching everyone.

john 3:16...for god so loved the world...

the world. all of us. god loves us. none of us are good enough for that love. we all fall short. but with jesus...that's what gets us 'in' with god. without the relationship with jesus, we are left separate from god. please click here for more infomation. instead of me just copying and pasting it all...because reallly that's what i'd do.

so i believe that we are all watched by god. no one is left out of that. you can try to be the best person you can be. just remember you're never good enough all on your own. we all fail. we all sin. {even me!} but with the blood of jesus we can and will be saved from that.

and i'll be sure to share with my kids that i fail. and i want to teach them from my failures.
like don't smoke, it tastes gross among other things.(( good thing it took one cig. to figure that one out.)) or have boys as friends but wait to date. wait until you're sure that's the one. kiss your husband and let it be your first kiss. ((i 'dated' a few boys. and hate that i kissed one other boy besides shaun. i know it isn't a humungo deal. but it is to me. and partly because i'm the only girl shaun ever kissed it makes me feel bad that i didn't wait to kiss 'the one'. one thing i will be sure to intsill is to 'wait' for the hubby for 'that'. because to me that is the bestest part of marriage, knowing you waited and knowing he/she is the only one. {{most of the time, i know that some people give their lives to the lord after the fact, but then re-dedicate to wait. for us we are the only ones and waited. but in the same sense, we failed in other areas of that. and for that reason i will be sure to tell my kiddos all about the other temptations of stuff, and let them know i faltered, but god is good and forgave me. and brought it to light soon enough to change it back to how it should be}}

so that's that. off my soapbox for the day. this post is long enough. but before i close. thanks. thanks for listening. for respecting me. and thanks for the kind comments and support.

11 loving words from you.:

agk11808 said...

I love how you write. You defend yourself (even though you don't have to) in a way that is just so amazing! I love you dear sister, and hope someday I am as great of a mom as you are, and as mom is!

He And Me + 3 said...

Amanda,

Everyone has opinions...like I said yesterday, you have to do what is best for you and your family. I think you are doing an awesome job and your kids are happy and healthy and they love Jesus. That is all that matters...because in the end nothing else matters but the fact that we love God & serve Him with all our hearts.
Have a great day! No need for explainations:)

A little piece of 7th heaven said...

Amanda..
I fell so behind in my reading and had to do a major catch up...
Anyhoo, great post..like the others have said:
to each their own..
and finally,

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned, forgive, and ye shall be forgiven."~Luke 6:37

I thought that verse quite fitting.
You are great! Do NOT let anyone try to convince you otherwise.
Annmarie:)

A little piece of 7th heaven said...

btw..thanks for the prayers

Kelli said...

I had to laugh out loud at the part about ignoring the poo so that shaun would smell it first!! So funny!! I do that kind of thing every once in a while too...especially at night when I really don't want to get up to find Eli's lost paci!!

~*Michelle*~ said...

oh sweet mama...you are so loved. ;)

This passage came to mind when I was reading your post.

and yes,....I did have to google and copy/paste....I'm not that "good" LOL

If any household or town refuses to welcome you or listen to your message, shake its dust from your feet as you leave. ~Matthew 10:14

smile. Jesus loves you! :D

xox

Verna said...

Smile, Jesus loves you and so do we"

Jesus also said " Let him without sin cast the first stone".....
None of us are perfect.
But I feel to leave a negative, nasty retort is downright rude.

I feel if you don't like a person for what they write, then why do those people continue to read our blogs. there are plenty of other blogs out there to read and enjoy.

Like I said, Jesus Loves you and so do we.
(a fellow blogger)

Following Him said...

Ok, I read the previous comment and then read this post. Seriously! You proclaim to love Jesus and no one is perfect. That blogger's comment was so off base! Thanks for this post, even though I already feel like "I know" you too well to ignore your kiddos!
~Elyse~

Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

Keep up the wonderful work, Amanda! You are an amazing witness to God.

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

Well said, sweetie. You can only do your best, can't you? And all of us..

The Beaver Bunch said...

I love when people peruse by blogs and drop off verbal bombs, then meander away.

Seriously people...if I come across a blog and I think "Whoa! This lady is jacked up!" I just "X" out and keep on going.

I think other people should be more like me. Okay, not really. But you get my point.