i don't claim to know it all. i don't claim to be perfect. i just claim to love jesus.

Monday, March 30, 2009

stellan style not me.

head on over to this site and play along with not me monday, stellan style. saying all the things you didn't do over stellan and mckmama.

i figured i wasn't going to post a regular not me anyways, and post about some thoughts on this whole thing, this is an 'easy' way to do it.

i didn't refresh mckmama's page a thousand and three hundred and fifty eight times last week. i didn't want to find out something, anything on stellan's condition.

i do not keep in constant prayer for stellan, mckmama, and the entire mck family.

i am not blessed that my husband cares to ask about stellan and listens to me talk about it and LISTENS. he usually does not look at me like i'm crazy when i talk about other blogs.

i do not put myself in mckmama's position and pray that if i were i could be the same beautiful witness for christ.

i did not cringe at the 'pissed' post. yet i totally agreed with her. ((i just hate the word))

i sit here and say wow. wow god. what are you doing here? what work are you going to do? what good will come out of this? one thing i know and believe a thousand and three percent, is that god is good. all the time. he doesn't take vacations or breaks. he doesn't turn a blind eye on us. he is good. and he is god.

he is in control. we need to trust in him and know that he is in control.

all of our days are numbered. it says so in the bible. we will die when god says so. not when we say so. i think as a mommy it's the hardest thing to swallow sometimes. that god will take our children back when he wants them. they aren't truly 'ours' but HIS children. IF you can live your life and believe that it makes it a bit easier. i have never had any issues with believing that. i know they are not mine. they are his. and what an awesome gift we have been given to be given these precious little babies.

because, for me, i know i do not deserve my children. i do not deserve to be blessed by having four of them here on earth and one little baby in heaven. i do not deserve to even think about adding MORE to our family.



he chooses to bless me even though i do not deserve ANY of it. at all.

so even though i fail tremendously. he blesses me.

even though i stumble. he blesses me.

even though i'm human. he blesses me.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. ((john 3:16))

god HIMSELF gave up his ONLY, his ONLY ONLY ONLIEST son. so I, ME, silly ME?? can live!!??! forever. in heaven.

talk about sacrifice. talk about a father. talk about love.

17 loving words from you.:

Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

AMEN, AMANDA! Thanks. I needed to hear that this morning.

Emily said...

GOD is GOOD!!!!!

Great post for Stellan.

My husband does the same thing when I bring up Stellan's name. He listens and hates what has happened.

Mom2Valerie said...

Great reminder, Amanda! Thanks for sharing. Stellan has been in my thoughts and prayers too...and, my husband also listens and feels sad for Stellan and his family. It's amazing how connected this "blogging community" has become. God is good and we always need that little reminder!

Brittne said...

Great post!! My hubby texts me numerous times a day at work and asks how Stellan is. I do hope he gets better quick!! Till he does we will keep praying!!

He And Me + 3 said...

Great post Amanda!
I am praying for that sweet baby too!

Alicia, The Snowflake said...

Amen my friend! God is so good even though we don't deserve it. Thank you for this wonderful reminder today! And yes, we continue to pray for Stellan, too!

~*Michelle*~ said...

Preach it Amanda.

WOW! Bravo. Beautiful.

I think this was my favorite post yet from you.


-stephanie- said...

Amen sister. Perfectly written.

We're praying hard for Stellan too.

A little piece of 7th heaven said...

great, great post!!!!!!!!!

Sonya said...

Very good post and I whole heartedly agree with everything you said. God knows what the future holds and we don't. I know whatever comes of this horrible situation that God knows what he is doing and even though it might not be the answer we are looking for God is still good.

Mrs. Cline said...

Thank you for blessing MckMama and Stellan with your NMM!


Anonymous said...

How inspiring!

I talk to my husband about my friends so casually that we forget they're from my blog list! :o)

I agree, when Cody was a baby... I prayed over the child and told God that this baby was in HIS hands. I am honoured to raise His child and I prayed for the Lord to guide him for life. Sometimes it's tough to agree with God's timing but if you think about it, life is a blink of an eye. We will all join in Heaven and embrace the plan that He set out for us :)

Great post hon!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

It is so wonderful to see the entire blogging community supporting MckMama and her family through this trying time. Thank you for your heartfelt post. I too have been sending my thoughts and prayers out for Stellan.


Amy said...

Beautifully said. This sorrow for sick baby Stellan and his family is deep at our house. We just keep praying and trusting the Lord. I think most mom's put ourselves in the position that it could be one of ours. Thank goodness that God is good and he is sovereign over all.
God Blewss!

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

Good list! So *very* similiar to mine! I guess we are all praying, stressed and worried together, right!?

Jenn said...

Yes God is so good. You have an absolutely beautiful family.

-stephanie- said...

Even though you don't have a new post, I click on your blog just to see your header. Your kids pictures make me laugh. They are so cute!