wildly fun...WINNER!!

hey. have i really not blogged since MONDAY!?!? crazy! but good. for me. maybe you're going through some sort of amanda withdrawal. don't worry here's your fix. :0) and because i haven't blogged since monday it's bound to be a doozy.

before i announce the winner, i want to address an issue. not really anything serious. but i have to be honest and say i've barely been on the computer blog reading this week. and if i have read your blog, i've most likely NOT commented. so i'm sorry for being a bad blogging buddy. but i will also say it's been nice to be away from the computer awhile. sometimes i seriously stress about commenting on your blogs too. i want to return the 'love'. i love getting comments from you. and i feel bad when i don't have the time to comment on yours. so i'm sorry. and i'm sure once winter comes i'll be much better!! please forgive me. please?

so to the winner. and then i will blab and ramble about the rest of the stuff. so when i picked the winner i used random.org. i got number 21. i always get so excited to see who that is. this time it was ~stephanie~!! so miss stephanie is having a great week. because i already sent her some oil for being the one who came up with the name to my blog!! so stephanie, you are now the proud owner of some 'beer' bread and red bell pepper and garlic blend. AND because you live so close i could totally deliver it in person. ;0) for those of you who haven't been blessed to meet stephanie in real life...she's totally fun. and abby is so cute. pheobe was in school so we didn't get to meet her. and stephanie is even thinking about doing a wildtree party for me. isn't that so nice?

i'll get my wildtree stuff out of the way first. first off: you can receive five dollars off any order you place until JULY 15TH. just let me know what you'd like!! ((i'd also like to let you know: spend 50 and receive a LEMON LIME CHEESECAKE BLEND for FREE OR spend 75 and receive a bottle of each of the EUROPEAN DIPPING OILS:: ONE GARLIC and ONE TUSCAN.)) those are great deals the company offers. and the free item changes each month. this is the first time there have been two different levels. so it's fun!! and also for any of you who may be thinking about a party if you have a 500 dollar party you get a free 64OZ BOTTLE OF NATURAL GRAPESEED OIL that's a 50 dollar value!! we actually started deep frying with the grapeseed oil and it's really nice. remember you could totally do a book party for me if you live far away. i'll send you some samples you can share them with your friends. and then get some orders and voila...you'll get some great products for FREE!! as a hostess you get 20 PERCENT of your show in free products. i'm also working on some great things to give my hostesses for having parties for me. i haven't squared it all away in my head yet.

so let me know if you're interested in any of the products or hosting your own party. i'd really appreciate the business. and i've been trying to get out of my circle of family and friends. because a circle is just that...keeps going round and round. if i stay in the circle pretty soon i'll be having food thrown at me. okay not that bad. but i don't want people to get all wild-ed out. so let me into your circle. :0) plus wouldn't it be fun to hang out with me?!? :0) lol. maybe you shouldn't answer that.

one more wildly fun thing. i wanted to share because a lot of YOU helped me reach my goals for my first 35 days of business. my goal was to get 1200 in sales, and you all helped me reach a little over 1800 in sales. the fruit of that labor is this huge rolling wildtree tote. i can fit all my products for my parties in it. and i don't have carry a barbie hot pink suitcase around. THANK YOU!!! truly thank you. i couldn't have done it without a lot of you guys. i hope you're enjoying your products and that i can help serve you more in the future.

AND if any of you are interested in doing a review and giveaway of a product let me know. i'd be happy to send you something to review and then sponsor a giveaway as well. and because i'm sponsoring it...means i'll pay for the product too! :0) so let me know.

okay. to the non-wildtree stuff. :0) i hope that i don't seem pushy with it though. sometimes i know i talk a lot about it. but it's truly something i love and want to share it with you. so i'm sorry if i come across pushy. but you know. it's no different then me sharing jesus with you either. he's something i love and talk a lot about too. and it's funny because i don't feel pushy about that. so i won't feel pushy about wildtree either. i love jesus. and i love wildtree. the end.

so as i was typing up the winner of my giveaway i checked my email. and found out I WON!! jennifer over at the toy box years emailed me and said i won her giveaway for some scrapbooking paper and supplies!! woot woot. and actually the other week i won a thirsties AIO diaper from samantha's blog mama notes i just got that diaper in the mail this week. so fun. and the giveaway at samantha's was sponsored by mama momo who has a great online store. and nice handwriting. i love getting real life mail and seeing your handwriting. lol. it's weird. but i've gotten stuff from mimi, veronica, heidi, martha and michelle. it's so fun to see your handwriting. because the typing all looks the same. and like i said, i'm weird!

so we've had a busy week. i got a little less 'pea-ed' about the pea situation as the week went on. which is good. but i've also had a bad attitude week. i really have no idea why i felt/feel so crabby. but trust me. you don't want to have me blogging all crabby. it's not a person I like being much less sharing with people. so i prayed a lot for god to help me. and he's helping me. but of course the enemy LOVES me crabby and starts whispering awful lies in my ears trying to get me away from feeling so good again. so i've been struggling hearing bad yucky lies from the enemy and staying on track. add to that girls. lol. my girls have become sisters.

okay i KNOW they're sisters. but over the past two weeks they've become sisters who fight. all.the.day.long. well actually only when we're home. if we're out and about they behave perfectly. pull into the driveway and it's like a switch. it's amelya and breigh fighting. so then i am yelling. and yelling more/louder than i should. then i cry. because i feel bad for yelling. i apolgized to them the other day for it. just because they're fighting and yelling gives me NO right to do the same. heck...that's teaching them it's okay to scream and fight. so i'm working on it. because then of course the enemy is back at it. making me feel like a bad mom and wondering why i ever had kids.

that is not a good place to be at! and i feel like i can be honest. heck most of the time i'm an open book on my blog. why should now be different. i think it's different because it's such a 'bad' thing for me to be feeling and i'm ashamed to admit that i've felt that way. but the past two weeks have been rough on me as a 'mom'. i feel like i yell too much. i feel like i plop my butt at the computer too much. i feel like a bad housekeeper too much. i feel like a failure too much. then i realize i can change those things. i can not yell too much. i can not sit so much. i can be a better housekeep too much. i can not feel like a failure too much.

god gave me these children. god gave me my house. god made me a mommy. god does not make failures. god is perfect. and we're made in HIS image. so yes. i'm perfect too. god made me perfectly. now i just have to trust and believe that. i can most days. when i'm feeling pretty. but most days i don't. and then i realize god doesn't 'care' if i look pretty. he just wants my HEART to be pretty. so that's what i'll work on. my heart's apperance. my heart's attitude. because what comes out of my mouth is the condition of my heart.

not to mention i have two other kiddos to be taking care of. dustin is teething. he has been for over a month. he has crying fits during the day. where nothing helps him except to be held. unfortunetly i can not hold him all the time when he wants to be. it's always at supper making time and it's impossible to hold a baby and try to make supper. and by that time of the day, if it's been a long day...i'm about to burst a grey hair. so i'll be honest most of the time i put him in his bed and let him cry. he's safe. and i know that i hate listening to him cry. but i have to. i did buy an ERGO baby carrier last week. i had a coupon, and used my bonus from wildtree to buy it. so i've been putting him in that more as well. i can even do it while making supper because he can be on my back and safer from food splattering. i bought it last week and have used it every day since then. my friend kelli borrowed it for the weekend though. they're going somewhere, wear they can't have strollers and she asked if she could borrow it. i told her of course!! i have a moby and a sling yet too. so if i need something i have it. i will say though, the ERGO is now at the top of my list. and i've considered selling my peanut shell sling. so we'll see.

caitlyn has grown up SO much the past few weeks. she's turning more into a grown up toddler. :0( talking more and more. and of course throwing grown up toddler tantrums. she has a cry like a fire engine siren. and i'm not exaggerating. i should tape it some time. lol. usually i just walk away from her fit. she realizes she's not getting attention and quits. so it's all good. i'm not going to feed into the tantrum. nope. i refuse to. so even though i may have to listen to her deafening cry...she doesn't win. i do. because I am the mom. and I am in charge.

sorry to seem like a negative nelly. i don't mean to be. but i also feel it's important to be 'real'. and that's what i'm being. real. you get me and noone else here. it's me and that's that.

i bought a camera bag this week. i had my reward zone gift certificates to use. so i finally got a nice bag for my camera. i love my camera. for those of you who don't know i have the nikon d90. it's a super nice camera, and deserves it's own little bag of protection. so now it has one. i've been thinking about taking a photography class this fall. i would LOVE to become a semi-professional-ish photographer. i love to take pictures. and it'd be fun to do.

yesterday morning i got to meet up with stephanie (a different one) and her sweet pea daughter for a picnic. we had a nice time at the lake and then played at the park right by it. and then last night i had an arbonne party. we did these fun foot soak things. actually it is a detox soak. and at the end of it we all had 'yuckies' floating in the water. the stuff pulls out the yuck out of your body and it's left floating. i dumped out the tubs. to be a nice helper. and to see the stuff floating lol. me and stephanie and the most stuff floating in our tubs. lol. my mom's was the cleanest.

i also cut out another one of dustin's feedings this week. NOT PLANNED. a few days before we miscarried the baby i had cut out dustin's night time feeding. i have always been nursing and pregnant and always got so exhausted so i started weaning him. then a few weeks ago i was going to be gone from him for his before supper nursing time. so i just cut that one out too. my plan was then to nurse him the three times during the day until i felt like stopping. then on tuesday i went to nurse him after lunch. and i wouldn't work. or 'they' wouldn't work. i tried for ten minutes. dustin would try to eat. then stop because nothing was coming. i tried squeezing out some. and nothing would come. so then i switched sides thinking that would maybe help. nope. nothing. so i guess 'they' decided to cut out that feeding. so now i feed him around five AM every morning and then at ten. and that's it. i'm kind of sad. i've never really been 'sad' about weaning before. probably because i've already been pregnant so i knew i was having another baby soon.

this time it isn't like that. maybe that's why i'm struggling with it more. who knows. i've been thinking a lot about that baby these past few weeks too. why is it that EVERYONE you see is pregnant when you go somewhere. and they're all due right around when you were too? if i didn't have god to trust in, i'd think it was some sort of cruel joke. but it's not a joke. it's just life. and god's plan. his plan did not include that baby here. it included that baby in heaven. so now i continue to pray for god's plan and know that it's all good. another baby or not. it's all good. and i have to remember that. it's all good. all the time.

today is an at home day. i think i may tackle the play room. it's beyond disaterous messy. i didn't clean it for yesterday, mainly because i was lazy. and i had a book i wanted to finish. lol. but i know that when it's clean and organized that the kiddos play better in it. now if i could only KEEP it that way. along with my house. it's so nice and clean and organized. i'm praying god can help me have the ambition to KEEP it that way. instead of lasting a day or two and then riverting to old habits.

so i'm done rambling. before your eyes start bleeding with boredom. it's nine twenty. dustin is happily (praise the lord) scooting around in the living room. ((oh yea...he started army crawling this week)) and amelya is watching martha speaks. breigh and caitlyn. are still in bed!! it's normally a feat to get breigh to sleep past seven. but she didn't really nap yesterday. so she must be making up for it. caitlyn normally sleeps til nine. so nothing new there. okay. like i said i'm done. and i will try my hardest to be a better blogging friend next week. i won't promise today because i know i want to clean the play room during nap. IF the girls still take one!! have a great weekend my friends!!