to my son...

on your SECOND birthday...

can you believe you're two? i sure can't. :) the past two years have flown right on by.

when you were born i remember wondering if i would 'know' what to do with a boy. i had only known girls. but i was so excited to add a boy to our mix. you were the first baby we found out with, and part of me *thought* you were a boy, but i also *thought* caitlyn was a boy. so i wasn't banking on much! lol.

but you were CLEARLY a boy. and a boy you have been. :) as a baby...pretty much like your sisters. then you hit the crawling and eating stage. and you were different. you were (well you STILL are) a boy! it was amazing to me that you ate like a little boy. you did little boy things. even with three older sisters.

some people tell you they feel 'sorry' for you. because you're the only boy. i honestly don't have any thing to say back to them...except i don't feel a twinge bit 'sorry' for you. because you don't 'need' a brother. and because you've got the greatest example of a man to look up to. your daddy. if you turn out to be half the man he is...i think we're doing a great job. i love watching you and daddy play together. be 'boys' together.

and on the flip side? i LOVE it when you come out of the playroom with your pink hat on...backwards of course. and how you love on your sister's baby dolls.

i love watching you be a brother to your sisters as well. that you sometimes throw the same baby dolls you were just loving on. that you drive tractors on your sisters legs (or faces!) and the way you ask for "evvie" everytime you wake up or can't see miss evaleigh. ((you are also the only person who calls her evvie, and i adore it! i'll probably miss when you can say her name fully.))

i will admit though, sometimes when i think about the babies we've lost, and know that one was a little brother for you, i get really sad. mainly because i know you'd be a great big brother to a little brother. that you'd show him the ropes...and the hiding spots from your older sisters. but i also know that wasn't God's plan. BUT it also means that when you get to heaven you'll have at least one little brother to run and play with, and worship God with for eternity.

lately when we've been praying i hear you trying to say Jesus and pray outloud with us. it's SO incredibley fun to hear you. and see you do that. if there is one thing you take away from me as your mommy, i want it to be that you put Jesus in that heart of yours. and that you cling to Him forever. if there is one thing that has gotten me through my life, it's been God's guidance. without Him i'd be walking around lost. He is the one thing that will never ever change on you. the solid rock you can lean on.

when they handed you in my arms two years ago...you've forever changed my life...and i'm so very grateful. i love you mr. dustin!! always and forever and a few days longer than that.

love.
mommy