in order

i'm getting myself in order.
it's been YEARS that i've been wanting to do it. but i've finally taken the steps TO DO IT.
and that is why i haven't been on my blog or yours at all. i've had the computer OFF for almost two weeks. i check my email on my phone. and facebook a few times a day (instead a few times an HOUR). and i got stuff done. last  night shaun had the computer on...and i've been taking time to get reorganized with myself on the computer now.

last weekend we cleaned out our room. it sort of became a 'storage space' for a long while. and shaun worked on it saturday, and we all did on sunday. it's nice to have a ROOM and not a place to sleep. if that makes sense. now we need to haul it all to goodwill and it'll be all good. we also have a pile on dustin's bed, which isn't really his bed yet, but it was shaun's bed in shaun's old room...which is now dustin's room...so it's dustin's bed. (catch that?!) of stuff for goodwill too. thankfully they leave it alone when they're playing in his room, so it's good.

i've also gone through all my homeschooling stuff. that felt good too. i got rid of a ton of things i 'impulse bought' and didn't 'need'. a friend of mine from church is considering homeschooling, so i gave it all to her. ((i think she was a bit surprised at the big box and brown paper bag FULL of stuff! lol)) it felt good to purge the stuff. and we found some super nice looking cabinets for CHEAP at lowe's a few weeks ago. so now my homeschooling stuff is more organized and just looks nicer in the dining room. ((in my 'dream home' i'll have a school room...but for now we school in the dining room...which i guess IS our school room...so hey! i do have a school room...we rarely eat in the dining room anyways))

next up. the girls' room. we bought bunkbeds a few weeks ago for the girls. breigh and caitlyn have been sleeping together on the bottom and amelya is on top. the crib that caitlyn was in, will stay up for miss evaleigh whenever i decide to move her out of our room. and who knows, as long as the girls don't mind sleeping together we may just have the one set of beds for awhile. but now i have to get in and purge through their clothes again. and just get their room in ORDER. it bugs me walking in their room stepping over the piles of 'next size up clothes' for amelya. and blankets. and coats. all that needs to be done is boxed up. hung up. etc etc. that is my goal for myself over the next few weeks. i'm not trying to be super woman here.

then the play room. my kids have way too many toys. it never really bugged me before. it does now. so i'm going to be downsizing. and it feels good to get rid of the stuff that they/we don't even need. simplicity. that's what i'm going for. and i've found out after going through some other things...it's so much easier and less stressful to live more simply. God for sure is changing my heart on that...i NEVER would've said that before. it used to be...oh my kids will LOVE that...put it in the cart. buy it. the did love it...for about .000002 seconds. and then it got put with the rest of the toys they 'love'. :) honestly though...the kids are always good about going through toys with me and giving them to 'kids who need them'. they all have such sweet giving hearts, and it blesses me to see it.

speaking of...waaaaaaaaaay off topic...but last night we were eating supper (a yummy fish fry from the supperclub down the road) and amelya asked dustin if she could have his bread. he said no. mine. amelya was fine with it. ((even after 'trading' him some of her fries for the bread)) then dustin sat there. looked at his bread. got up. and walked over to amelya and said "here ya-ya". and gave her his piece of bread. i totally teared up at watching it all. maybe i'm just biased...but i have the sweetest kids in the whole world. or maybe my house. but either way...it totally blessed me seeing it all play out.

i'm also having some crazy withdrawal symptoms. i've been off of my perscription meds and moving onto something natural (supplements/vitamins) over this past week. it's been insane. i've been dizzy and can barely stand sometimes. and it's sort of scary to realize how it affects your body. i know i NEEDED the medication. it truly helped me get to this place. and i wasn't in the right mind to even *think* about a more natural option a few months ago. but now i am. so i'm moving off of RX and onto the vitamins. but i do know now how someone can get addicted to drugs (of any kind). yesterday was by far my worst day yet and a few times i almost took a dose of medicine because i knew it'd make it all go away. but i stuck it out. and thankfully today is a teensy tiny bit better. i'm so thankful that it's working out.

i'm so happy. even with these crazy things going on. i'm happy. sometimes i find myself wishing i would've 'done something sooner' but then remember that this is MY story God has me on. because regardless of 'when' i'm HAPPY NOW. like truly happy. it's an unexplainable great wonderful feeling. and i know that it's one that can only come from the loving God i've clung to. i don't have to walk around with a smile plastered on my face anymore. i smile. and i MEAN it. someone asks how i'm doing and i say...good. and MEAN it. it's so truly amazing. i'm probably like one of those people who can drive others nutso because of how happy i am. but that's truly okay with me. i'd rather drive you nutso because you can't 'stand' how stinkin' happy i am than the alternative. :)

i've also purposed it in my heart to step out of my box more. this week. it was my 'food' box. i've tried foods i've snuffed off before...and i've liked them!! woo hoo. i'm trying to eat healthier. and stepping out of my food box is something that must be done for that to happen. :) i've also lost 2 more pounds. woo hoo. my goal is to be down to 145ish by spring/summer...so i'm about 20lbs away from that goal. i was at a stand still for weight loss (no gains...but no losses either) for a few weeks, so it feels good to have lost again.

hmmm. what else?! oh. evaleigh is almost 8 months old. THAT my friends is also crazy. she's sitting up and eating 'real' food all the time. and she's turning into a 'bigger baby' now. the kids love to interact with her. and she loves to smile and scrunch her nose at them. and shake her head no. she's so stinkin' cute. i must upload pictures soon to share all the cuteness in my house. i'm still nursing her. at this point with the other kids i was either 100% done nursing (due to being pregnant) or only nursing at morning and night. so we'll see what happens with her. nursing is so much fun in the morning hours, when only her and i are awake. ((she gets up around 530/600 to nurse and then goes back to bed)) i treasure that time i have with her. or during the day when i get a chance to sit down for a bit to nurse...that's nice too. so we'll see. this is the first baby i have to decide 'when' to quit because i'm not pregnant. i don't really have a goal in mind. i'm thinking within the next few months we may cut out a feeding or two during the day and go down to morning/night feedings for awhile. who knows. and really...it doesn't matter much to you does it? just something for me to ramble about.

caitlyn is not anywhere closer to potty training. ugh. she's almost 3 1/2. by far my OLDEST and NOT trained. we've tried a ton of things. none of which have worked. but i'm getting frustrated. she is smart enough to know better...but maybe too lazy to care? i don't know. but i'm hoping it gets done soon. or at least before she graduates. :0) it's not worth getting MY underwear in a bundle over it.

amelya. is almost 6. as in six YEARS old. i can't believe it. i bought her, her first chapter book this week. and she's reading it before bed. i can't believe how big she's getting.

breigh. she's been growing up so much more. she used to be my 'whiny' one. about everything. and i've really noticed her self control growing in her. it's amazing to see. she's also coming along so well in school. we've started kindergarten 'officially' now with her. which i think we may have to alter to move a bit faster through it since she knows a lot of it already since sitting in with amelya over the past  year.

dustin. is a little boy. well i know you know that. but really...he's turning into such a boy. a gentleman. it's so sweet to see. he's talking like crazy. which is so fun to hear. especially at night when you tell him i love you. the "i love you momma" makes this momma's heart melt to pieces. this morning he got up way early (for him) at seven. so we cuddled in our bed together and read his tractor book. he's for sure his father's son!! plus it made me not miss shaun so much.

shaun's been working a lot this week. and today. on his 'normal' saturdays he works til noon, but because of some stuff going on at work this week...he's working probably a normal during the week day instead. so til five or later. i just keep praying for him and his job. and i love that he clings to God during the tough days at work and knows that God has him there for a reason. a guy told him that a few weeks ago at church ((and even though i tell him that ALL THE TIME)) it really spoke to shaun's heart. i just love to see God work in his life. well all our lives...but i love seeing Him give shaun his heart's desires, and in turn, it's giving me MY heart's desires. so cool.

well i've rambled and bambled and everything else for a long time. thanks for sticking with me. lol. my goals for myself (once this withdrawal stuff is over) is to start getting up before the kids do again. which will give me my devotional (QUIET) time. blog time. me time. and then i can get back on here more. and back to you all more!!

praying you all have a super great weekend. ((i'm super excited it's MARCH this week...spring is coming!! woot.))