quick update...

okay quick update here. dustin got his little tongue snipped this morning. yay!! now i don't have to go back up to appleton tomorrow. he got his bili levels checked this am too. pretty much slept through that. and then we went up to the ent office. we were quite early, but we also got in a bit earlier too. the ent dr was interesting. i noticed a hole for an earring in his ear. it made me giggle actually. like oh yea drs are real people too. i could care less if he has a hole or an earring in it. i just found it amusing...could be lack of sleep who knows. so he looked at dustin's tongue and said well if you're up for some screaming i could do it now. so that's what we did. and you know what?!? our god is so cool...dustin SLEPT through it. didn't make a noise! only god can give a week old baby peace about having a scissors cut under his tongue. i was so happy.

nursing went well after this too. and it is a lot less painful. super big yay!

the girls are all fancied up for their date with nana tonight. they're both wearing dresses, with tights, the tights are breigh's favorite. i'm hoping they enjoy their time with nana at veggietales live. then they're going out to eat and staying over at nana's. shaun and i are going to go to walmart later with just the two little ones then. we're out of bread, diaper cream and almost out of wipes. and i'm sure we need lots more things. having dustin should save us money in the long run, it'll be a lot harder to just go to walmart because i'm bored. i'm sure shaun will enjoy that!

so i said quick. that's what i mean. the three little ones are napping, and i need to switch the dishes in the dishwasher...then i'm going to sit on the couch and relax. and not feel a single bit bad about it either. toodles.

t-i-r-e-d...tired...that's me...

hey everyone. i've got a quick minute, and instead of napping i'm blogging...hmmm...maybe next time i should nap. i've been tired the past few days. although i don't know why! lol. actually i was the most tired yesterday because it was a very busy day. i was up at five to try and hold off dustin til five thirty...which he did very well. and i fed him at five thirty and then got showered and ready to go for the day. it was dance day of course. i woke the girlies up a little later than i should have and we kind of had to rush around to get ready in time. but god answered my prayer and had shaun's mom come earlier than eight thirty, the time i told her to come.

so we were out of the house by eight thirty for dance. doris took the girlies to dance, and i took dustin to get his bili levels checked. his auntie danielle got to do it for him. it was her first time, but it went well, and worked out well for us beacause the clinic is right by the dance studio. i only missed breigh's class. and after amelya's class we went to eat at the 'family restuarant'. that's what amelya calls it. then off to the chiro. i couldn't wait. my back has been so tense and tight while feeding dustin. because he can't latch on properly because of his tongue i tense up as he gets 'on'. the pain goes away after a bit, but it always hurts like crazy to start. the chiro loosened me up a bit and checked dustin. she was impressed with how well he was 'in line'. just his pelvis was way out. after the chiro we went home. as i pulled into the garage i got a call. we had to redo dustin's required state newborn blood screen. there is nothing wrong with him they said, but the test was hard to read or something. so i asked doris if we could drive BACK up to appleton. i figured since i had help i might as well take advantage of it.

we waited a bit to get in, but then when i did, the lady was taking blood and then i said how we had his bili checked this morning. she said then why are you here again? i said for the newborn screen. well she apparently was misinformed and thought we were doing a bili. so she stopped and had to go get the screen for the state testing. she started that and then made a mess on the screen, and because the state is so picky, had to start over. poor guy had to get poked again by that point. i'm so glad he's such a trooper. he cries, but doesn't scream bloody murder like he could be.

we finally made it back home by four thirty. i was exhausted, but very thankful doris was along with me to help. it would've been worse had i been all by myself.

i also have an update on dustin's tongue. they called me at five on monday to set up his appt with the ent. the first available is next friday she tells me. i said are you serious?!? i explained to her the pain i am in and she told me to call the ped's office the next day to see if we can get him changed to urgent. so i called the nurse yesterday and she was able to move me up to tuesday, getting better. dr birn was out of the office yesterday and she told me she would have him see what he could do as well. and today i got a call. we get in TOMORROW! praise the lord. we may only be able to see the dr. and then have to come back on friday for the actual procedure. but i don't care. god totally answered my prayer and we got in tons earlier than NEXT friday. i'm so happy. i also have to take dustin to get his bili levels checked tomorrow at nine. his levels have been borderline and yesterday they had gone down, but they want to make sure they keep going down. so we haven't had to have the blanket, and i don't think we will. he doesn't hardly look yellow anymore at all. now i have to get to appleton by nine tomorrow. shaun's mom is still off of work and actually taking amelya and breigh to veggietales live tomorrow afternoon. so i'm going to see what will work out with her to help me or take the girlies a bit earlier than we had talked about. i'm just thankful for the help. dustin's ent appt is at ten. so it works out rather nicely. i love god and his intimate planning of details!!

shaun has been working late this week. he doesn't like it and isn't happy about it. today the guy he works with had to leave at noon, shaun's excited to try and be done by five. which would be nice. i need to go to walmart. but i am still a little nervous to do the first walmart run by myself. i think i'll give myself another week to do that!! all the mom's at dance couldn't believe how i was there yesterday. i don't understand that. i mean seriously all i did was have a baby. i didn't have major surgery or anything. i don't have the nice opportunity to have a husband who gets weeks off either when i have a baby. i've had to get right in it with each of them. actually with amelya he took a few more days off than with the others. but breigh, caitlyn and dustin he was off for the hospital stay and that's it. it worked out that we always had a weekend in there too. i also don't want to depend too much on his mom this week, because next week she'll be at work. i need to just do it, and by the grace of god, it's been going super well. today is the first day that no one has stopped out and it's been going good. all four of them were up at the same time this morning, but we made it through it with no breakdowns from me or them. although i was close.

dustin still only gets up twice a night. it's so nice. i'll feed him in bed right before i go to bed. and then he's up two times after that. last night it was 1230 and 330. then he slept again til 730. he usually waits every three hours to eat. and there is one time during the day that it's two. so it's been pretty 'easy' with him. we've been so incredibly blessed with all four of our babies being super good newborns.

now i start thinking...is this it? are we done? most of my heart says yes. and then there is that little smidgen that says...hmmm are you sure? what i am sure of is that this is it for now...and for awhile. i DO NOT want to be pregnant again in eight or less months. my body and my mind does not want to handle that. i need a break. so for now i still pray. and trust. and know. that god will take care of it all and that he will give me his answer i just have to wait for it to become clear to me.

sooo go check over at mckmama's blog (www.mycharmingkids.net) she had her little stellan today. and you know what? he's doing wonderfully...truly a miracle of our god. seeing a story like hers i don't know how there can still be people who don't believe in god. how can you not? god and ONLY god can do something like that. it was nothing a dr did. god did it. our master physician. because he's cool like that.

well my break is over. breigh's awake. back to mommyhood again. :0)

the labor and delivery story...

well i'm starting this, we'll see if i can complete it before breigh and caitlyn or dustin wake up. so we'll just get to the point here then.

we arrived at the hospital at seven on wednesday morning. i had gotten a little sleep the night before, every time i was up so was dustin. so it made for a long night of sleep. after getting through all of the registration rigaramole they hooked me up to the monitors. i was actually having some contractions on my own. nothing major or too serious though. at eight or a little after my dr came in to 'induce' me. they used a tablet instead of the gel, i've had previously. the tablet was supposed to take awhile to get started, but should've gotten things moving in a few hours. well a few hours passed. and really nothing much changed. i could feel the contractions more, but it was really nothing at all. at eleven twenty my dr broke my water. usually things get started for me then.

USUALLY. but nothing really much changed. except for the fact i was now leaking amniotic fluid all over the place. i seriously have never had that much. ever. i didn't even want to get out of bed because it was so gross. i wet the sheets terribly. and every time i moved, or laughed, pretty much breathed out came some more! so the contractions got a tiny teeny bit worse. but nothing major. my dr. checked me again around three and i was only three cm close to four. she asked me to walk around awhile to see if that would help. i dreaded walking, but my option after walking was pitocion. so i tried to walk to get it going. the only thing walking did was leave a trail of fluid all over the hospital. well really it wasn't THAT bad right away, until i leaked through those fancy disposable underwear and thick diaper pads they give you. it was gross but i needed shaun to help me 'wipe down' after our walk. he did it. a little. but was so grossed out about it he couldn't do it anymore. which made me laugh so hard and leak so much!! i got into bed and waited for my dr. to come and check me at four. nothing really changed by four. i was closer to four cm dialated and that was it. so we started the pitocion. that got my contractions started more and more intense. which i had been waiting for ALL DAY! i was actually happy to be in some 'real' pain!! the baby would be coming soon!!

around 540ish i asked for some nubain to help take the 'edge' off of the contractions. it helped me to rest a little between the contractions. that is always nice. 'rest' during labor. sounds kind of funny. but that's what i call it. by 630 i was ready for another dose of nubain, but also was feeling some pressure, but not 'the' pressure. so the nurse checked me and i wasn't quite there. so we did another dose of nubain. by 640 my dr had come in to check on me again, she checked me and nothing had changed. but i kept feeling 'that' pressure, but nothing was different. she said she'd come back in a bit, or the nurses would call her when something changed. well she pretty much walked around the curtain and out the door and things changed. she had me try to push a little to see if we were 'ready' and we were. so we set up for delivery. the nubain made me a bit drowsy so the nurses were really nice for the first push to get my legs back. i only pushed a few times and little dustin was out. shaun cut the cord too! i was so excited when he decided to cut it. he wouldn't tell me all day what he was going to do. so i was happy to see he decided to in fact cut it. i always tear up and cry when they set the baby on my tummy. and that's what happened again. it is so amazing to me to be holding this baby that god was working on the past nine months.

dustin is so perfect, of course i'm so biased. he's been a super good baby since getting home. he only gets up twice a night to eat. nursing is a bit painful right now though. we found out yesterday that, like caitlyn, he is a bit tongue tied. so it makes latching on harder. he is pretty much gumming me with his bottom gum. but the pain wears off quickly as we keep nursing. i have to get an appt made with an ent to 'snip' his tongue. then nursing will go much better i'm sure. i just keep on keeping on, because that's what us mommies do. his billirubin levels are borderline for jaundice, so we're getting his levels checked again tomorrow. hopefully he doesn't need the blanket thingy, but if he does, it's really not too big of a deal anyways.

the girls love him. and the older two want to hold him all the time. which is fun too see. caitlyn also enjoys checking him out. but speaking of caitlyn and breigh, they're awake. at least i got my story in. i'll post a picture or two before i leave you...but first i gotta go get my girlies!!

Dustin Russell Popp born at 7:10 pm Wednesday October 22, 2008.

8 pounds 7 ounces and 21 inches long

our attempt at all four kiddos...it'll be weird to not be able to say girlies anymore

i may be one proud mommy of four, but this is a really proud daddy of four!

all bundled up in his 'halo sleep sack swaddler' I LOVE THAT THING!! enjoying a rest in his bouncy seat.

i have almost survived my first day alone with all four of these guys too. it's about four thirty and shaun should be home in the next two hours. now a lot can happen in two hours i know, but i'm prasing god for answered prayer over today. i was so anxious over today. being the first day home alone by myself with all four babies. but i did it. my mom stopped over for awhile, which was super nice, i got to take a shower!! breigh and caitlyn also both slept for three and a half hours. so it was a good day. now each day isn't going to be this 'easy' but god kept it easy for me today. and that's okay. tomorrow we have dance. it'll be a test to see if i can get up and get showered before the four of them all decide to get up. shaun's mom is coming with me so that'll be super nice too. i will have help at dance and all the stuff after. we're getting dustin's blood taken and going to the chiro after that.

through all of this i know and continue to believe that our god is such a good god. he is faithful every day, and his mercy is new every morning. and it is only by god's grace i can get through any of this. thanks my faithful blog friends for your prayers and comments. i LOVE all the support from 'strangers' who really are anything but strange. so thanks to all of you! those of you who comment and don't know that i appreciate it ALL!

while in labor...not me monday

so i know i need to post all about my labor and delivery, but i only have a quick minute to post, so i'm posting my not me's and will work on the labor and delivery of our sweet little baby boy dustin.

so while in labor i did not have so much amniotic fluid it was all over the sheets and had to have them changed, that's truly never happened to me before, and i was not so disgusted by it.

i also did not walk the hallways leaving a trail of this so called fluid...and when we got back to the room i did not ask shaun to please wipe it off my legs...and when his face had a disgusted look on it i did not laugh harder and proceed to leak more fluid...

while in labor i did not think about asking for a c-section just to get this baby out...(i'll post more details on it later, but this was my longest labor yet and i was just so ready to meet our son)

i also did not tell the nurse that i'll just 'go up there' and pull this baby out...she also did not laugh at me

while in labor i did not enjoy watching an info-mercial on the cricut expression, and get bummed when i realized it was almost over

after delivering i did not tear up when shaun said, 'sure', when asked to cut the umbilical cord, it was his first time!!

and after delivering i did not cry while holding my son...yeah right...i so did cry!! he is so beautiful and the whole experience is beautiful and i was so excited to finally be holding him on the outside.

okay so there you have it. a 'in labor' not me monday. it's all i have time for right now. i'll be sure to post SOON some pictures and the whole experience...my sister did put up some pictures if you didn't check those out go to her blog. www.agk11808.blogspot.com and i'll promise to be back soon. :) amanda

the day

I'm writing this early tuesday morning. i CAN NOT sleep. i'm so excited for tomorrow. well today if you're reading it. because today is the big day of baby d's arrival. i've decided to post this after six pm, praying that this little baby will be born by then. which it should.

we have to arrive at seven in the morning to get things started. the girls stayed by my mom's house last night. so we didn't have to wake them up to take them anywhere. i also thought it would be nicer to fall asleep at grandma's and know that we weren't going to be there in the morning. instead of waking up at home and we weren't there. i don't know. i'm weird about things like that i guess. i like to explain things to the girls.

so because i'm typing this tuesday, i have no idea how the delivery went. i'm going to ask my sister to post an update on her blog after she comes to visit, or knows some info. so check out her blog to the right... http://agk11808.blogspot.com/ that way you all can be updated before we get home, lord willing, on friday.

part of me wants to spill the beans and let you know what little baby d is...but the other part of me still likes the control of you not knowing and me knowing...so i'm not telling. check out amy's blog for the information on little dustynn/dustin.

see you friday...or saturday...or sunday...or whenever i get the chance to visit you all after having my baby tomorrow/today!! :0)

not me monday

this is so fun. be sure to check out mckmama's blog at www.mycharmingkids.net to see all the rules, and of course everyone else's not me's.

so it wasn't me who kept checking mckmama's blog to see if she posted last night, so i could 'get ahead of the game'

it wasn't me that teared up when a lady won the million dollars on wheel of fortune. who is silly enough to do that?! it also is not me who wants to figure out statistically her chances at actually winning it...there are a lot of things that have to happen. it wasn't me either who got excited when they replayed that episode on saturday so i could see it yet again.

it wasn't me who got all emotional, again, when amelya wrote out the letters 'i love you' after i told them to her

it was not me who didn't want to be in labor on monday on our way home from madison, because that would have meant missing hanging out with alisha and getting my spa day pedicure

it isn't me who now just wants this baby to wait until the 'set' date to come, because i am not a planner and don't want to have to rush around and actually be in labor myself

it isn't me who is a little freaked out that by next weekend i will have four babies!

it isn't me who packed my hospital bag with maternity jeans that don't fit right now, hoping they'll fit when we leave the hospital

i am absolutely not the one who yelled in the car when a lady who wasn't pregnant took the 'expectant mother's spot' at walmart after alisha and i drove around forever and then found 'the spot' and then it wasn't me who said, i'm gonna pee on her tires. because first off i do not yell, and i would never ever even think about peeing on someone's tires, well that part is true i wouldn't. i also was not busting a gut laughing at the whole situation when we had to walk a mile to get into walmart. it was truly funny, and i wasn't mad, it was just funny...

i was also not disappointed when shaun didn't find our story as funny as we did.

i also do not keep counting down the days to baby d's birth. because there is not only DAYS left. ahhh! :o)

well there you have it!! not me monday. what didn't you do??!! it's really quite theraputic. and a laugh.

today is mom's group and nothing else...so far...for us. it'll be nice to relax with the girlies this afternoon, because tomorrow is a busy day of dance class, chiro appts, and then after that going to the book fair. because it's not my girls who already have shelves and shelves of books in our living room....and they do not 'need' anymore. but it's always a good deal, and i'm super excited to go get them some more.

if i didn't mention last week, caitlyn has an ultrasound on friday. i feel bad because the appt is at nine AM and she can't eat or drink anything after midnight the night before. good thing she's a good sleeper and sleeps in til eight or after usually. i've been trying to not feed her right away as well so she gets used to not eating or drinking right after she wakes up. so we'll have to see how it all goes. they just want to check her organs to make sure everything is okay in her belly. and that her 'pooper' issue isn't causing any other issues. then the results will get faxed to her dr down at children's and i'm assuming in november we'll discuss them with the dr and the surgeon and go from there.

so i'm hungry. i so didn't 'skip' eating breakfast first, so i could type up my not me's. :o) have a great monday...

saturday = fun day

...the girls having fun in the leaves at auntie's house

and of course while they were having their fun with leaves, i was having my fun at the spa and in appleton. i got my eighty dollar pedicure (paid for with a gift certificate) and it was SO nice and SO worth it...although it should be right?!? but it does last an hour and a half...so that's a long time to have someone just working on your legs and feet. i just did a purple color, no design. which is a bit unusual for me, i usually get a design, but i figured because it's a tad bit chilly out and i need to wear socks most days it didn't pay to waste the money on the design. after the spa we went to chipotle to eat. it was yummy. oh but before that we stopped at orange julius to get a smoothie...that was yummy too. i love doing things with alisha because she loves to eat, and so do i. makes it a little better when there is someone else shoving their face as much as you. lol.

we went to kohl's after eating. i found some great deals on dress up stuff for the girls. i found a cinderella dress and a little mermaid outfit. they were normally twenty five dollars, i got them for ten!! yay! i also found a duffle bag for myself there way on sale. i LOVE sales. they get me every time. but i need a new duffle bag, especially since this baby could be coming any day now i need to get my hospital bag all packed and prepared.

speaking of the baby...i only gained one pound this week...that was nice. my dr also said she still thinks this baby is eight or more pounds, and is hoping that baby d doesn't beat it's sister's weight. me too!! she gave me the low down if i happen to go into labor before my induction. she said that if my water breaks to come immediately to the hospital and bring the girls if we have to and have whoever is watching them meet us there. and she said to come in when my contractions are 5-8 minutes apart. i'm truly praying i don't go into labor myself. i could possibly have only a fewish days to wait, so hopefully this baby stays right where it is until that day. i just like having it all planned out and not having to worry about the girls and rushing out of the house. so we'll see. she also checked me. i am 1 1/2 cm dialated and about 70 percent effaced. so things are happening, but i still have a ways to go. when she checked me her eyes got really big and it made me nervous that she was going to tell me that it was 'time'. thankfully that didn't happen. i was alone with the girls at the office! that would've been CRAZY. she also gave me some input on caitlyn's little issue too. it was nice to get a gyno view on the whole thing. because to me caitlyn is a little one year old not a twenty something contemplating marriage, intercourse and having babies. she told me that she has a few paitents with caitlyn's same issue. she will probably not be able to have babies naturally due to the risk of tearing...and she also said that what makes the babies is usually painful. so we'll have to see what happens. and continue to trust god and not be afraid.

that verse is a verse i picked this week for a homework answer for church. we had to pick one verse from isaiah 12 and appy it to our walks. i picked that part of verse two. i will trust and not be afraid. to me i think it's easy to say that you trust. and it's easy to say that you aren't afraid. but i think it's hard to put those together. i trust god, but i find myself sometimes still afraid. i've purposed it in my heart to put the two together and not be afraid and trust god. because he knows it all. he sees the entire picture. he has not failed me before, and he won't change. he is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. always faithful. always loving. always gracious. even when i don't deserve it. no one else on this earth loves me like he does. not even shaun. or my girlies.

for those of you who don't or didn't know. today is sweetest day. shaun and i usually just get each other a card and maybe a little something else. i just gave him some kit kats. (his favorite) it was cute because he got me a pack of nut rolls. mmm i love those. and i was even more surprised by the flowers he got me too. it was nice. he got the girls each a little something too. the girls gave him a card. amelya was all excited to give him the card and write love you in it. she also wrote her name. i also loved watching breigh draw what she calls her name.

tomorrow is church. after that i know of nothing. that's okay. i'm kind of needing a day to do nothing. come home after church and just relax. have the girls all nap, well at least the little two and then i can nap too. i've been super duper tired lately. and i haven't been sleeping well at night. i'm either up to roll over or i'm up thinking about all the stuff i should do before this baby comes. and then i start thinking about the day the baby is coming and get all excited. and start thinking oh my oh my it's almost here!

i finished the paper doll cutouts for my sisters wedding. they turned out SO super cute. i'll have to remember to take pictures of them and post them. i also asked shaun's mom today if she would draw the faces on them, because shaun said she was good at that. and she said yes!! yay! now we won't have to have a 'willow tree' looking wedding party. because truthfully i seriously contemplated them having no faces. i'm not good at that. i got all the names on them too. so now i just have to cut some hearts and finish up decorating the poster board. but that won't take much, and i enjoy doing the crafty stuff. now if i could only get ambitious on the scrapbooks i'm years behind on.

well i suppose, i've just been saying how tired i am. so i guess i'm off to bed. nighty night.

roses

can you believe it's already friday? i cannot! the week has flown right on by. it makes me realize then how fast life truly goes. and how i need to stop sometimes and 'smell the roses'. the roses being, my kids, my husband, everything else but the computer. lol. sometimes i feel when i walk by i have to check my email or something. because you know i'm SO popular and gets tons of emails from actual people every day! right. so i'm going to do my best to spend the time with my roses instead of the computer. because before i know it...my roses are going to be all bloomed and planting themselves in other places...

on a less serious, and probably more boring note, yesterday was a fun day. gage and chantae came over. like one minute after i was out of the shower and dressed...phew. the girls and gage played well together. and it was fun for me to see them playing in the playroom. getting some good use out of their toys. and chantae and i were given the chance to talk and catch up a little bit. so overall it was the 'perfect' set up. except of course when gage was poopy and breigh decided to shove her hand down his diaper! good thing no poop got on it! yuck!!

my sister came over to work on the 'dolls' some more. they're almost complete!! today we have to cut out the hair for all of them, and then i think they should be all done. then we have to figure out a 'scene' or something for them to be standing by. i'm really excited to see how it will all turn out. amelya loved helping making the pieces into stickers with the sticker maker too.

caitlyn's pooping was really 'good' yesterday. the miralax upped a little helped a little. i didn't even know she did it until she crawled by me. so i keep praying that it'll keep being how it was yesterday, and not the two days before. i scheduled her ultrasound yesterday as well. it is next friday morning. i feel bad because she cannot eat or drink anything before the appt. good thing she sleeps til eightish and the appt is at nine. it'll be fine, because god will keep her satisfied. i know it. she still isn't walking. so i don't think she'll be walking before baby d comes. oh well. she's been pushing her stroller she got for her birthday all around, so she's getting some practice in. next step is without the stroller...so we're close!!

breigh is talking so much lately...it's crazy. caitlyn has starting saying a few words too. her newest one is "okay"...sounds like "k" so yesterday i showed my sister how she can say it. and she did. and breigh looks at amy and says "caity cannot talk". oh it was so funny. breigh cracks me up. i'm also amazed at the food she eats. last night after eating super she wanted chips, and salsa. the kid eats salsa like applesauce, which is what she calls it! she picked out the chunks and just ate them, and occasionally used a chip. and when she was done...she licked the bowl clean. i don't know many two year olds who love salsa like she does. even when we go out to eat at a 'real' mexican restuarant...she eats the salsa just the same. crazy!

today is my dr's appt for the week. ahhh. i'm so excited. last week i gained four pounds, so hopefully i didn't do that again. i could afford to lose a few or even stay the same. although i have only gained 39 pounds so far. so i haven't beaten amelya's weight gain of 45. that's a good thing. and i better not have gained more then 6 pounds! maybe baby d's weight stayed the same too. around eight pounds is good enough for me. :) i'm so excited...if i have failed to mention it before, for baby d!! amelya is getting excited too. i am just praying god prepares the girlies for this new baby and that there is minimal (or NO) jealousy. and the transistion from three to four goes well. which i am trusting it will. i've never had a problem adjusting. and in all reality is was 'harder' from one to two then from two to three...so i'm hoping three to four is just as 'easy'.

tomorrow i'm going to the spa at the mall with a friend. i'm so excited. we each have gift certificates for there and are going to finally use them...and get to spend the day together. then we're going out for mexican food. yummy. we also get to pick up her mom from the airport. so it'll be a busy fun day of fellowship with a friend. it's been a long time since her and i have gotten together just the two of us. shaun has to work this weekend. so the girls are going by his sister's house til he gets done tomorrow. when i originally planned this it was shaun's weekend off, but with the wedding last weekend plans changed because now he's working opposite. oh well. it'll all get straightened out. and the girls don't mind going to aunties house.

well i suppose. i've done enough babbling...and my belly is hungry. :)

october 15th...

well if you don't know, which i didn't until yesterday...today is the National Day of Remembrance for pregnancy and infant loss. i didn't know. for those of you who know me personally, or have read from the beginning. you may know that we have a little angel baby up in heaven. we lost that baby due to miscarriage. i shared my heart on this subject after reading the entire blog of the Bring the Rain blog (on my blog list to your right). so instead of sharing it all again, and so i don't sit and bawl again! go ahead and read this post, just don't forget to come back!! :) http://aproudmommyof4.blogspot.com/2008/07/tears-are-okay.html

well now that your eyes are dried...okay i'll admit, i read it again and it was hard not to cry again. but then again i wrote it!

we went to storytime today. it was nice. they had a fireman come in and dress up. the girls didn't cry! i was surprised, because he probably looks scary to little kids. after story time we went to mcdonald's. i called chantae to see if her and gage wanted to meet us there, but the 'duh' moment hit me when, she probably shouldn't take him out and get him all sick as surgery day approaches for him. so instead she's coming to our house tomorrow. i'm excited to see her again. we've not seen each other in WAY too long. my girls were sick and we did not want to get gage sick before surgery. but now the girls are better, and gage can come over to play. and i can 'catch up' with chantae. especially because things may be getting a bit busier in the next few weeks. just a bit...right!?! sometimes i begin wondering if i'm 'ready' for this baby...oh i'm ready for it to come out...but then again isn't it just a bit easier still inside!?!? lol. i know crazy. because i can like hold my legs together to keep it in or something...nope. not gonna try that.

my sister is coming tomorrow after work too. so we'll have a full day of visitors. i'm assuming gage and his mommy will leave after nathan gets home from work. so then it'll be a little while and my sister will probably be here. we're making the people to put up by their wedding cake. i'm using the paper doll cartridge with the cricut. they are turning out SO cute. i have the dresses and shoes and shawls cut out of the girls. now they need some hair and faces drawn on them.

last night the girls were coloring. then amelya hands me her paper and says...what does this say? i just saw some random letters written on the page. i asked her to tell me what it says...she said it said i love you. well i told her the word that it did make, which was "mernmv" and then i told her the letters to spell i love you. and she wrote them all. and it says 'i love you'. my little girl is not so little.

well i suppose. caitlyn is awake from her nap, from the sounds of it, she may be up there pooping. poor baby. later gators.

an update...finally...

well it's late, but blogger was not working earlier. and now that it is i figured i might as well fill you all in on our fun weekend, and caitlyn's dr. appt.

the drive out friday was beautiful. seeing all the fall colors from wisconsin to minnesota. overall the drive was uneventful. i did freak a little crossing over the mississippi, and am very thankful i live in a time period of bridges and automobiles!! we found rochester no problem, thanks to the gps. rochester is a beautiful 'big' city. shaun and i both loved it. it didn't feel rushed or crazy or anything. (on a side note, shaun wants to now move to minnesota, in my mom's words "i'm sure he'll miss you guys". lol) we grabbed some supper at an applebee's in one of the malls in rochester. and then walked around the mall. typical mall, although smaller than the one we go to in appleton.

saturday was the wedding day. we didn't have to leave til later in the afternoon so we drove around rochester and since i was having awful heartburn and FORGOT the rolaids, we stopped at not just a target, but a SUPER target. we don't have one around us! i LOVE super target. and now i WANT a super target. we walked around checking out the 'superness' of it all. and bought my rolaids. i also bought the travel sized stuff of the things i'll need for when i have the baby. i figured as long as i was there...but now that i think of it, it was kind of goofy, because sales tax in mn is seven percent. wi is only five. oh well. after super target, and eating at chipotle...which was super yummy... we headed north towards the wedding site. we stopped in zumbrota to find the place where the reception was going to be. and we saw the 'last covered bridge' in minnesota. it was fun to see, and of course just fun to relax and walk/waddle through the little park. then we headed more north towards kenyon. (or as shaun called it kenya, then he called zumbrota: zimbabwae...so not only was i in minnesota i also took a quick visit to africa...who would've thought it)

so the wedding. it was...interesting. i've never been to a wedding where the pastor tells you to open a book to 'follow' along. seriously he just read and filled in the blanks with names from the same book we followed along too. it didn't feel 'special' or different to me. i felt bad. only ONE time during the service did he pray by himself and not read the 'prayer' out of the book. i guess i'm not used to that. it was different. they did the receiving line the same way shaun and i did. they walked back in and let each row go singlely. i liked that. of course i did, that's how we did it!! i think it's a bit more personal, and the people who don't want to wait can sneak out. i personally do not like recieving lines at weddings. especially of those who i don't know that well. i'll do anything to sneak out of one. derrick was super excited to see shaun. i was blessed by that. there were some other guys in the wedding shaun graduated with and i think he enjoyed catching up a bit with them. the dinner and reception went well. my only complaint...it was a buffet style. that is so hard to do. i'm glad we didn't have the girls...that would've been super hard. but the food was yummy, and the cake was sort of comparable to 'grandma hoerth' cake. we stayed for a bit of the dance. and i got to slow dance with shaun. it was nice, and difficult, all at the same time. do you know how hard it is to slow dance and attempt to get close when you're nine months pregnant?!? it's hard. we got back to our hotel at 1030ish and both fell asleep watching our free movie we got... romantic huh? the night before was a bit better...lol...i leave it at that. tmi...i'm sure. but you'll deal.

sunday we went to calvary chapel rochester. oh it was so nice. it was just like church here at home. it is a small fellowship, just like ours, and every one was so warm and welcoming. we totally felt like we belonged and weren't just visitors. church was good, and it was nice to actually feel god's presence in the church. we were referred to the 'canadian honker' restuarant to grab some lunch before heading home...and it was a yummy place to eat at. we each had a 'honker of a burger' and of course wisconsin cheese curds, that were better in minnesota than i've ever had in wisconsin. with full bellies we headed home...after filling up with gas at 2.87. (it went up since we had gotten there...lol)

it was nice to be away with shaun, but i was so excited to see my girlies again. when we got to shaun's mom's they really could've cared less. made me feel bad a little. but i know they were excited inside...at least they better have been!!

monday, yesterday, was caitlyn's dr's visit. it went pretty good. the doctor thinks her anus is definitely too close to her vagina. right now they upped her miralax and we have to get her to poop every day. he checked her and she isn't 'too tight' so we're trying basically to 'train' her pooper to poop where it is at. we have to have an ultrasound done of her abdomen and see the dr again in november. yesterday he told us he would also talk to the surgeons to see what they thought. today i got a message saying that we had to drive, back to madison..yuck..not a big city i'd want to live in...way too busy..., and meet with the dr and a surgeon in november. so surgery isn't definite, but a possibility. today she had a major bm and major issues. even with upping the miralax. so we'll see. i'm going to keep record of it, so i can help the drs out a little with making their decisions on surgery and whatnot. so we just keep trusting in the lord to take care of it all. his plan is better than mine. i'll be sure to keep you updated. :)

i had awful braxton hicks contractions on the way home from madison yesterday. it was no fun being in the car and SO uncomfortable. they went away after an hour or so. then tonight they came back even worse. i'm SO looking forward to being in real labor and having this baby...only _____ days left. like i'm telling! i did tell shaun today, i don't care if this baby decides to come tonight, or tomorrow, whenever it wants is fine with me. or i'll just wait til the 'big day'. i'd rather wait til then, because the babysitting stuff for the other girls is all planned, but you know god has a sense of humor and doesn't always follow MY plans...lol..so whatever. i'm just getting ready to meet this baby on the outside and not feel the kicks, punches and rolling overs on the inside.

today the girls had dance. and breigh did it...all by herself. she walked in. no coaxing needed. and she and the other girl, ava, played together before class officially started. i'm so proud. amelya learned some new things. and is the budding ballerina. they were measured for their recital costumes too. ohhh i can't wait!! after dance we went to the mall, picked up the pictures from the belly shots. and then the girls played. and i didn't BUY anything at the mall. yay for me. we went to the chiro. who totally helped my aching back. and my sister came over to work on stuff for the wedding. we're getting down there, and my goal is to have the stuff finished before baby d arrives. we're heading on that track well.

tomorrow is story time. thursday is nothing. and friday i have a dr. appt. then saturday i'm going with a friend to appleton. sunday is church...and then it's next week already. and maybe i'll give a hint...i just may be having this baby some day next week...but then again it could be that next week too. oh you'll just have to wait. :0)

oh alright. i'm tired. you're bored. let's just call it a night. good night. sweet dreams. hope you're not sleeping with any bed bugs...even though the disgusting truth is...you probably are! yuck. okay done. i'm tired. then i start getting weirder....

not me monday...just a day early

not me's a day early. i promise to post about our fun weekend away...tomorrow or tuesday, please remember to keep caitlyn in your prayers as she has her dr appt tomorrow with the pediatric gi doc. :0)

it was so not me yelling out 2.84?!?! when i saw that price for a gallon of gas while in minnesota. (here in wisconsin it's well over three bucks) because people do not get excited about cheap gas. that'd be weird. i am NOT weird.

it wasn't me who drank the whole bottle of sparkling apple cider, because shaun doesn't like it, and i thought it was fun to drink it in the 'wine glasses' and feel all special.

it wasn't me gagging at the smell in the 'wisconsin rest stop' bathrooms. *minnesota's is much nicer*

it wasn't me missing my girlies every time i saw a little kid while we were in minnesota.

it wasn't me giggling when the pastor guy at the wedding just read everything out of a book that we all had a copy of. what's the point? shaun could've done that. it wasn't me who felt bad either that the ceremony was really nothing 'special' because of this.

it was not me pulling out a picture of the girls at every chance i was given to talk about them.

it wasn't me so so happy to slow dance with my husband at the wedding. it also wasn't me trying to remember the last time we actually slow danced...

it wasn't me who giggled at the restuarant name 'canadian honker'. seriously though...great food, we ordered wisconsin cheese curds, in minnesota, and they're better then wisconsin ones!

it is not me who ate almost a whole 'roll' of chewable rolaids in a few hours. because i do not have awful heartburn.

it isn't me who is secretly counting down the days to this little baby's arrival...

oh and it is not me who has officially hit the over 200 pound mark, and gained almost forty pounds with this pregnancy. oops, maybe that one IS me. :0)

well i know these may have been kind of boring this week. but it isn't me who is so tired i could fall alseep right now. four hour + drives do not affect me that way at all. :) have a super duper not me kind of day...i'll post more interesting things later...maybe...

EIGHT...

...POUNDS!! that's what my doctor said yesterday at my check-up. that's how big she thinks this baby is....ALREADY...and i still have a few weeks to go. she said that this baby would FOR SURE beat out amelya's birth weight of nine pounds four ounces if we would go to 'full term'. she also thinks that this baby may be close to her birth weight delivering early!! so i guess i'm preparing for a 'big' baby and probably shouldn't go out and buy tons of newborn sized diapers. with amelya we only used the pack the hospital gave us and then put her in size ones. the baby's heartrate was super high yesterday because it wouldn't stop moving either. the dr. said that's what's supposed to happen so it's all good. normally the heart rate is between 140 and 150, yesterday it was 170. she okayed me for our trip to minnesota this weekend. she said to get up every one and a half to two hours. she also had them copy my record thing from this pregnancy. JUST IN CASE. basically if i have it i won't need it, if i don't, i may. i am really praying that this baby just stays inside. if i don't deliver at a 'network' hospital, my insurance won't cover a thing. and i don't think i could handle a five hour drive home in labor, heck i'd probably have the baby on the drive home. my dr. did say DO NOT try driving home. GO to the hospital if i feel any cramping or my water breaks. but i know god is good, and i trust in him that everything will be just fine.

i've been trying to think about what to get shaun for our anniversary. for me it needed to be something nice. since we got my ring the bigger diamond and the necklace with the other diamond. http://aproudmommyof4.blogspot.com/2008/08/potty-wins-every-time.html (that's where i showed the pictures...plus it is a really funny post about my poor hubby) anyways back to the gift. we've been talking about a gps since this trip has been planned. so i thought, hey he won't think i'd get him that. so i did. i bought him a nice gps for a gift. actually over all it didn't cost too much. around 350. and then i got the case and this mounting thing, you can't suction it to your window in minnesota, and i don't need to be getting fined there. so it was a nice gift i thought. i gave it to shaun last night. and he really liked it, and didn't say you shouldn't have got that, you didn't need to get that. usually he does silly stuff like that. he really liked it and checked it all out last night. plus i figure the rest of his gift comes in the form of our (lord willing) romantic weekend away. we both need it. i think he really just needs a break from work and would go anywhere at this point.

while at best buy i also bought myself something. my all time, okay one of my all time, favorite movies...adventures in babysitting!! i was so excited. AND it only cost FIVE BUCKS!! even better. i absolutely loved that movie, and am excited to watch it again, and again, and again...because now i have it. yay!!

and because everyone else is doing it...i want to do a game too!! of course i need to have a baby guessing game...is this a vain attempt to get lots of comments...maybe...just kidding...kind of...but remember you can not be a blogger and leave a comment anymonously. just leave your name in the comment! now here's what i want you to guess: baby's weight, height, sex, and you can try and guess my due date. i'll share amelya, breigh and caitlyn's info too, so you have something to go off of. now a prize. hmmm...i'll think of something. truthfully it just may be the awesome satisfaction in winning. can NOT get better than THAT!!

Amelya: Due Date: March 2, 2005
BIRTH Date: March 5, 2005
W: 9 pounds 4 ounces
H: 20 3/4 inches

Breigh: Due Date: June 26, 2006
Birth Date: June 14, 2006
W: 7 pounds 10 ounces
H: 20 1/2 inches

Caitlyn: Due Date: September 14, 2007
Birth Date: September 6, 2007
W: 8 pounds
H: 21 inches

My official date with this baby is November 1, i know i am having this baby before that. But just to give you a 'starting' point i guess. have fun guessing!! and thanks for guessing!!

sooo. we're leaving tomorrow around lunch time. i may not be able to get on here. and of course we'll be home later on sunday. i may not be back with you all til tuesday. caitlyn's dr.s appt is monday, at her pediatric gi doctor. please please please keep that in your prayers. thank you. i will try and post monday night. but it may be tuesday. have a romantically blessed weekend!! ;o)

it's late...but...

...i don't want you, my faithful readers, to think i'm abandoning you. because i'm not. really. actually what i'm really not sure of is if i have faithful readers. but i do know i love blogging and letting it all out there for whoever to read.

today was dance. and praise the lord...breigh did it ALL BY HERSELF. no amelya in class with her. no tears. yay! yay! yay! i was so proud of my baby girl. amelya learned, 'fifth position' and was commended on it by the teacher because she was the first one to do it 'right'. so another proud mommy moment. and caitlyn, i'm proud of her too. she still isn't walking. i have a feeling she won't quite be either before baby d comes. oh well. two babies then to carry around.

after dance it was chiropractor time. let me tell you. i needed it! i love dr. jamie. she helps so much. i'm excited to see if going to her and being all 'in line' for delivery will make a difference. either way it's gonna hurt, but it'll be interesting. i'm getting anxious for this baby again. i keep praying for me to enjoy these last few weeks i get this baby all to myself. because after it's out...there's no going back...and i'll have to share this baby. amelya is getting excited too. she keeps talking about her little _____ (nope not telling).

halloween is coming. i don't like halloween time. i know i've gone on about this in tons of posts. but i guess it frustrates me sometimes. i just am trying to understand why christians choose to celebrate it. i do understand why those 'in the world' celebrate it, they don't know the meaning behind it, or don't care to know, or just don't care. and that's fine. what i get frustrated with is those who follow jesus with their whole life, yet still choose to partake. i don't get it. for me i cannot, and will not, participate in a 'holiday' that celebrates satanic rituals, sacrifices, etc etc etc. i mean seriously people have babies, just to sacrifice them on halloween!!??!! that makes me sad, it makes me want to cry. i've mentioned it before, but i will again, watch the movie Halloween:Trick or Treat? it's a good movie. and gives great insight as to what halloween is. so now i've recommend two movies this week, fireproof and this one. i don't know what else to really say about the topic. i truthfully don't. i just guess if you're a believer, and celebrate halloween, can i ask why? if we're supposed to live by what the bible says, and it says to avoid witchcraft...are we doing that by celebrating halloween? we're given free will. and it's your choice. you all know mine. :)

sorry. i'm rambling, i'm tired. but i'm super excited. tomorrow i have my dr appt for the week. then it's thursday...and then friday is the day to leave for the weekend!! i'm excited. i still haven't recieved some packages, praying they're here before the weekend, otherwise it won't be as 'fun'. ha. and i'm even more excited...i found a calvary chapel in rochester. i've contacted the pastor and the church is less then ten min from our hotel. so that's good news. it'll be fun to go to a different calvary.

alright, time for bed. so that's where i'm going, right after i wake shaun up from his position on the couch and probably take a trip to the bathroom, so i don't have to get up during the night...i'm so bad...i hate coming downstairs in the middle of the night 'just' to go pee. so i hold it til morning. or as long as i can. i've been doing good so far...okay too much info...good night. for real this time.

just trying to win...

okay one of my favorite bloggers...as you can tell from the side bar i stalk many...is having a contest. and well i like to win things. so i'm trying it out. it is her one year anniversary to blogging. and she's giving away stuff. so go over and visit her blog. and leave a comment, and you just may win. but i want to win. so i hope you don't. okay just kidding, i don't care if you do, but if you do you have to let me know so i can be happy with you. k? k. it's over at www.myspecialks.com so go visit. and enjoy her blog. i have for a few months now. :0) now i need to go eat some breakfast.

not me. nope NOT ME!

yay! another not me monday. click on the right side bar button to find out more...here are my NOT ME'S....



it is not my belly that rubs and hits the steering wheel every time i drive our van...



oh and while we're talking about things my belly isn't doing, my belly button definitely is not so stretched out of my stomach that it is actually painful...nope nope nope



and it is not my sink that STILL has dishes in it, like i didn't say last week, i always have a clean sink, always no matter what



it wasn't me that got excited about seeing the new barney movie at the movie store, amelya was definitely more excited then me, definitely...



i absolutely was not laughing so hard and trying to hold my pee in while watching a movie yesterday, because i am not too lazy to just get up and walk to the bathroom



and after the movie it wasn't me who wanted to just go 'ahhhhhhh' while finally running to the bathroom and going



it wasn't me who bought special things to wear for our weekend getaway, because i'm already pregnant and what's the point really...no i didn't waste my money on that



i am so not the one who is so secretly excited to drive in a car for hours alone with my husband and have an entire weekend to ourselves, just the two of us celebrating five years together...no i am not excited at all



i am also not thinking about how much i'm going to miss the girls while we're gone



i didn't almost cry when breigh cried yesterday that we were going to a movie without her, i'm a tough mom



i didn't feed my girls yogurt and cereal for supper saturday because i'm was too lazy to make something, i always cook meals, always



i also didn't feel so relieved (and almost wanted to cry again) when someone saw me in public with the girls, by myself, and actually had something nice to say about it, and actually encouraged me in it



i didn't cry lots and laugh lots at the movie we saw yesterday, because i am so not an emotional pregnant mommy right now....





well i think that's it for the week. but i know you are so wondering what movie i saw! it was fireproof...

and what an excellent, awesome, super good movie. i highly suggest that you go see it. i'm glad i got to see it with shaun. it's a good 'couple movie' to see. there is some 'action' to go along with the story line. it is by the same church who made facing the giants (another good movie). the acting has gotten better by the church people in this movie too. and kirk cameron is in this one. he is the ONLY professional actor that i recognized in the movie, everyone else is from the church as far as i know. i also heard that they shot the ENTIRE MOVIE with only ONE camera. now not seeing the movie you would not know how incredible that is. but it is. oh and the movie has tons of hilarious parts to it. and just enough to through some laughter in the movie. the movie really has a serious story line. and a true story line. kind of scary actually. not your 'scary movie' type, but a scary truth type. it's based on a marriage that is falling apart, and only one of the partners truly wants to work on it (eventually). i don't want to share all the details, because i want you to go see it.

but just know it is the first movie in a long time that made me cry and laugh so much, i may have done a bit more crying, but only due to the fact that the girls mother has just recently had a stroke. well my grandma died, almost five years ago already, and had a few strokes and the lady looked like her. and i bawled. i almost walked out of the theater. (yep that's right, i'll walk out to bawl my head off but not pee) but shaun grabbed my hand and the scene ended so it was a bit easier. i'm secretly glad they didn't show too much of the girl's mother because it really was hard. it just brings back so many memories of my grandma.

my grandma and grandpa were very close to us growing up. we didn't go to daycare, we went to grandma and grandpa's house. my freshman year of college she was put into a nursing home due to her dementia. boy that was a hard adjustment. i came home every weekend. mostly to see shaun. but i also made a point to go visit my grandma almost every sunday too. shaun was so supportive and always came with me. even though i know it was hard for him sometimes too. i treasure all those times i had with her 'after' she got sick. just as much as 'before'. i know that she remembered me. maybe not my name, but the twinkle in her eye when i walked in told me in my heart that she remembered me. she got really sick at the beginning of september five years ago, they said she was going to die. well she didn't. she actually had a few really good days, and reminded us of her 'old self' before getting bad again. i truly believe that was just a blessing from god. my bridal shower was supposed to be that first weekend. but my mom told me about it and i decided to cancel it. well by the time it came for my second shower my grandma had gotten really bad. but we went ahead with the shower, had to, there was only a month to the wedding. my grandma was to the point of 'waiting' and i was visiting as often as i could. one day shaun and i were visiting and the rest of the family left to go 'pray the rosary' (something i don't agree with, why do you have to pray the rosary, can't you just pray to jesus...um yep you can, so i just stayed with my grandma) it was during that short visit alone with her i just prayed with her and told her grandma you just need jesus. that's all you need. just jesus in your heart. and my grandma did something extraordinary, she started crying. immediately after i shared that with her. i KNOW that was god. i KNOW my grandma accepted jesus that day. you see my grandma had not been communicating for days, weeks even. but on that one special day she did. i KNOW my grandma is in heaven. and is celebrating with her savior. and i KNOW one day i WILL be there with her. because we both share that relationship with jesus. and that's all we need to do. we don't have to worry about being 'good enough' to get to heaven. none of us are 'good' enough. god wants us to just have that relationship with his son. it's what the bible says. it's what i believe. god said. i believe it. that settles it. i don't need to answer to anyone BUT god.

well i suppose. i've gone on a tagnet not even intending to. thanks for reading it. now go out and see that movie!!

random thoughts for your sunday morning

sunday morning already?!? boo hoo. the weekend went by SO fast. it always does when shaun doesn't have to work. but he kind of did work too. and is gone this morning finishing up. our soybeans were combined yesterday and the co-op closed before they were done, so shaun had to get up and take the wagons over there so he can get them in. at least he didn't have to get up way super early like on a normal work weekend. plus next weekend he has off because we're going to that wedding.

i'm excited to go away. it's been awhile since we've gone away. in fact i think the last time we 'went away' was for our one year anniversary, four years ago. that's a long time. we've had nights away but never a weekend away. i'm kinda sad leaving the girls for an entire weekend, it'll be my FIRST time being away from them for days and not seeing them. and if i weren't so sad about it, and if shaun was getting some paid vacation, i'd stay away longer to make a pit stop at the mall of america in the twin cities. we've never been there. i want to go, shaun...probably not. but we'll be SO CLOSE. we're staying in rochester. i hope it's not a super super huge city. i don't like huge cities and lots of traffic. heck appleton during christmas season way stresses me out. nw we'll be in a bigger city that i have no idea about. but it'll be fine. god's in control, and that's all i need to trust in. the wedding isn't until three on saturday, so we have friday night and saturday morning/a little of the afternoon to hang out. then on sunday, because i booked the 'romance package', we're allowed a later check out at like two or three. but we'll leave well before that i'm sure. it's almost a five hour drive from home so i'd like to leave maybe by noonish so we can actually SEE the girls on sunday. the only thing i don't like is missing church. we'll have to see if rochester has any calvary chapels around it. it'd be fun to go to different calvary chapel. or if any of my blogger buddies happen to live over in that neck of the woods, let me know about a good bible teaching church we can pop in at next sunday!! :)

the monday after our 'early anniversary getaway/wedding' is caitlyn's appt with the pediatric gi doctor. i've looked up her exact 'diagnosis', more so i can have a medical term and don't have to say her anus is too close to her vagina, all the time. it's called an imperforate anus. i've freaked myself out by looking up the condition online and have purposed it in my heart to not do it anymore until we meet with the gi doctor. her case though, seems to be a minor version of the condition, which makes sense then why it wasn't caught until after she is a year old. it looks that she'll probably need some sort of surgery but not as invasive as it could be. so please my praying blogger buddies keep this in prayer. especially over my thoughts about it, and just for the doctor's wisom.

all these weeks are going to fly by. i just know it. then we'll be holding little baby d. i just can't believe it. before i was counting in days, not weeks, because days sounded longer. now i'm counting in weeks, because days sound shorter. lol. i'm a girl. i'm weird. i know. so in mere weeks/days this baby will be here.

i know what it'll be.
i know the date (if baby sticks to it).
but there is still so much i don't know.
who will it look like.
what will the temperment be.
how will it's sister's handle the change of a new baby.
how will labor and delivery go...
will baby wait til the date...

i hope baby chooses to wait. only because i just don't want my water to break anywhere BUT the hospital. yuck. that is the grossest part of labor to me. i don't like the constantly feels like i wet my pants feel. or everytime i laugh, it feels like i wet my pants. most of you blogger buddies have had babies before, and most of you i'm sure know what i'm talking about. and you'll agree, i'm sure, the wet pants-feeling is all so worth it when you're holding that precious new baby in your arms. i never ever believed anyone when they said, you forget the pain. RIGHT. but you DO forget it ALL, immediately. every time i held my new baby girl in my arms, none of the hours before even came to my head. all that mattered was this awesome new beautiful blessing i'd been given. that's one of my favorite parts about the birth. holding the baby. and just staring at it. watching it sleep and move. and i'm sure this baby will stretch a lot, because that's all it seems to do right now. ohhh i just can't wait. so pray for that too, my anxious ness. thoughts of this baby seem to consume me at times. it can't do that. :0)

we're going to a movie this afternoon. we're going to see fireproof. i'm excited to see it. it's by the same people who created facing the giants. facing the giants was an awesome movie, so i'm sure this one is going to be too. the girls are going to go by my mom and dad's house. hopefully my dad is home, i think they really enjoy seeing papa. plus i know my dad enjoys the time he spends with them. it's fun to watch them interact together. especially because growing up, my dad worked a lot, and we didn't have those times with him when we were little. and by the time we were bigger, we were provided the time, but didn't really take it.

so i suppose. i've rambled and babbled and didn't even talk about this weekend and what we did! but i gotta get the girlies ready, and myself ready for church!! talk to you soon...

fall is here...

it is for sure fall outside today. i even turned the heat on yesterday. i was trying to put it off as long as possible, but it was just too cold in this house. we live in an older farm house, so that means it's freezing in here in fall and winter. upstairs is worse. it's deathly hot in summer and freezing cold in winter. we have a heaters to help though.

today i have a drs appt. i'll officially set the date with my dr. but i'm not telling... :) it's just so weird to be so close to the end. it always feels like each pregnancy went so much faster then the ones before. maybe it's because i'm busy and not consuming myself with just this baby. i have three other children to take care of too. at any rate, i'm just as excited to meet this little one. shaun and i are doing this labor by ourselves like with caitlyn. amelya and breigh had a room full of people with us. but with caitlyn i wanted to do it ourselves and this one too. i love it both ways. i get more pictures when there are other people in there, but oh well.

last night before bed i was showing the girls their pregnancy scrapbooks. amelya and breigh loved looking through them. i was all teary eyed looking at them with my girls. it was fun to show them what they looked like when they were born, although it took some convincing before breigh believed us that it wasn't caitlyn or maddie's baby in the pictures. shaun looked through them with us too. it was nice. because he's a boy and really doesn't care too much about scrapbooking. i think he looks at my pages out of love not because he wants too. :) oh well.

i'm supposed to scrapbook tonight. i'll be honest i'm too lazy to want to move any of my stuff out of my house. i offered my house to scrap at, then i don't have to haul anything further then from under my stairs. we'll see what happens. i just am getting so exhausted lately. i won't even carry breigh up the steps anymore. she's too heavy for me, and i have to stop every few breaths just to take a breather. maybe i'm outta shape too huh? if i do scrap i'm not even going to work on my scrapbook stuff. i am going to work on stuff for my sisters wedding stuff. i offered to cut out a 'wedding party' with my paper doll cartridge for the cricut. so i have lots of people to cut out and put together. then i'm making something else too. so i'll work on that. then it'll get done lord willing, before this baby comes. because i won't have that much time after.

the girls did really well with their dance fundraiser. we have to turn it in next week, but i told everyone by the first. so i'd have everything, so if anyone who didn't order wants to....let me know, because i really have til this week to turn it in. amelya is turning into a little ballerina. breigh cries when we get to class, but particpates and smiles during it. i have yet to figure out why she cries like that. and at home she is always practicing her point and walking on her tippy-toes and turning. so it'll get better i'm praying. i can't wait to see them in their dance recital. it's not til may. but it'll be cute i'm sure. on the 25th of this month we get to see what sort of costume they'll be wearing for it. i can't wait to see those either.

i have the girls' big sister shirts half done. i have always made them a shirt for when they meet the new baby. i haven't decided what i want to put on the front of them. anyone more creative then me have an idea?? this is the only idea i had:
on amelya's: I'm the BIGgest SISTER
on breigh's: I'm the BIGger SISTER
on caitlyn's:I'm the BIG SISTER
is that cute? oh i just don't know. for amelya with breigh i just had: i'm the big sister. and for breigh and amelya when caitlyn was born i had: Team Big Sister and on the back had the numbers 1 and 2 respectively. so now i've just gone and run outta ideas. and on the backs i always put their names. so i have all three of their names on the back of the shirts right now. and i bought leggings for them too and put flowers on them on the bottom part of the leg on the left side. so now just the fronts.

well i suppose i've just babbled about nothing today. i need to get moving to get ready for my drs appt. it's at 1150, a super bad time, but it originally was at 1030 and had to be rescheduled. oh well. next week's appt is worse 1135. we'll manage we always do. :0)

have a super good day and weekend if i don't "talk" to you before then...

weeks left...

only a few weeks left. now i'm not going to share the official date with you all, but there are only a few weeks left til baby d arrives. i CAN NOT believe it. as baby d rolls around and kicks around in my belly while typing this it amazes me.

it amazes me that god chose ME to have these babies (the ones before this one too...i'm NOT having twins...lol)

it amazes me that god grows humans inside of me. i just am floored that's all.

it also amazes me in a few weeks i'll be holding this baby on the outside. holding this baby in my arms, looking at it face, it's hands and feet, it's body...

just again standing in awe at the work of our creator. who creates everything perfect. absolutely perfect. beautiful. wonderful. even though we may not seem all those things we are, god made us that way. and in heaven we WILL be all those things. no crying. no sorrow. just plain praising and loving on our savior.

ahhh heaven.

sometimes the selfish, fleshly part of me thinks just wait a minute before you come back lord. there are things i want to do, i want to see...then i remember jesus is coming back in a quick minute (amelya said so) and how much more perfect things are going to be in heaven. nothing on this earth compares to that. nothing. not even my babies. not even my husband.

nothing.

nothing at all.

god is so good. all of the time.

i did in fact find dresses the other day, while i was roaming appleton being a bad friend, and i found an outfit for this baby. of course you will not know what sort of outfit. but it was an advantage knowing what this baby is going to be, because then we could buy it an outfit and i don't have to rush around after this baby comes trying to find anything. and i must say breigh looked so so cute in the dress we found for her. and i'm sure caitlyn will, we didn't try hers on her yet. i found them at burlington, and for way cheap, i got all three for under 70 bucks. wah hoo. i was excited.

we also had amelya's dress fitting this week. that went well. she was such a good girl and let the lady pin her all up. she is going to look oh so cute too. i'm just praying already that she is given the confidence and not-shyness to walk down the aisle. i know she will. my mom came along and got to see her in the dress too. we also set up the appts for my dress fittings. it's nov 3rd and 5th. and the wedding is nov 8th. boy i'd be stressed if i were the lady who had to do it. but as long as she is fine with it so am i. i'll be nursing so lord willing the pounds will be 'sucked out'. sorry for the term...but really it's what happens. nursing helps lose the weight faster.

have i mentioned that i've kept my house clean still? god is so good. he's been helping me have some ambition. now i do have dishes in the sink. but that's easy enough to clean up. but the rest of the stuff i've kept clean.

well i suppose. my sister is coming over today. i'm going to help her do some stuff for the wedding. and since she isn't sharing details on her blog, i best not on here, because i know some of the same people just may read both. :) so i gotta shower. it's so nice to still be in jammies after noon though...

i'm a bad mommy and friend...all in one day

ahh. well freddie (and spot) both died. then replacement freddie also died. there was a nemo instead of another spot. nemo is still alive and living now in a tank instead of a bowl. along with three guppies who don't have names, yet. the tank is small. and nice. and i'm so not looking forward to cleaning it. oh well. the girls really like it. and we put it on top of their bookshelf so they have been enjoying looking at it since last night. and nemo is finally eating, it wouldn't eat the original food i bought. fish.

so you want to know why i'm the bad mommy right. i could save it for next not me monday, but figured i may forget by then. so yesterday was dance class. after dance we always go and get a brunch. so at around 1030ish the girls ate this brunch. well at 430 amelya was telling me she was hungry. want to know why? because she hadn't eaten since 1030! ahh. none of them had. what a bad mommy i felt like. at least caitlyn had some milk in between. and i guess the girls had a few tootsie rolls at the chiropractor. but then after the chiro we went to the mall to return some things and then to burlington coat factory to look for dresses for breigh and caitlyn for amy's wedding. we didn't go to the food court part at the mall, because i didn't want the temptation of playing for them, and i didn't want to tempt myself into a big ole orange julius. ahh. well then while i was doing all my running around my friend was wondering if i was coming over. so i totally forgot that we had talked about moving our playdate to yesterday instead of today because gage has his mri today. i knew we weren't getting together today, but forgot we talked and planned yesterday. so not only am i a bad mommy i'm also a bad friend. argh. i'm so sorry to my girlies and sorry to chantae. argh. but i'm human. i'm allowed to screw up. i just hate it when i do it to others. screwing up didn't only affect me it affected a lot of others. but god forgives. and like he forgives i know my girls did and am praying my friend did too. (my girls probably forgave me because we went to fazoli's after the complaint of hunger came...who can resist 99 cent kid's meals on tuesdays)

while in appleton my friend (a different one...i know i have more than one wow!) texted me that she wouldn't be able to come to story time today because her car's rotors were wrecked and then her husband would need the van. i told her too bad shaun was busy otherwise i'm sure he'd be willing to do it. well then shaun called me and said they had to quit combining our soybeans because they were too wet. so i asked if he'd do melissa's car. he said sure. so god totally worked it out for that because he was able to fix her car last night and now she'll be able to come to storytime. breigh's excited because she loves playing with maddie. all i have to do is mention maddie's name and breigh's jumping up and down. i'm glad they have little friends like that.

i'm hoping for sunshine so the soybeans can be combined in the next two days. if not i may not be able to scrapbook friday. i just trust god will work it all out. and whatever happens will happen. we just need some sun to dry the soybeans a little bit. it'll be so weird to have them gone too. it's that time of year though. soon the fields will be all plowed. and then there will be snow on the ground...and somewhere in between there...i'm having this baby!

i bought new shoes yesterday. with all three of my pregnancies i bought myself a new pair of shoes. i hadn't bought a pair of shoes with this pregnancy and said 'these are my pregnancy shoes' so i did that yesterday. i just bought a pair of the brown fuzzy crocs. i have a pair of light pink ones from last winter. i wore them a lot. and now they are the only not flip flops that fit. my feet are fat. hopefully they get a bit less fat after this baby comes. but either way i love my new brown crocs. i used to think that crocs were ugly. til i tried them on. they may be ugly but they sure are comfy! and the fuzzy ones...oh i love them even more!!

so storytime today, and then i need to go to walmart at some point. we have NO milk in the house. i know another mark for the bad mommy award. shouldn't there just me some grocery fairy who comes and fills my cupboards for me. if there were fairies. but there aren't. none at all. so i guess it'll have to be the big ole pregnant fairy going to the grocery store and getting her own milk. me a fairy? right.

so i've gone on quite a bit. sorry. it's been a couple of days you know. and i'm sure you've found this all SO enlightening. what have you learned? i'm human. i screw up. A LOT. but GOD FORGIVES. because i screw up in worse ways then just those...imagine that...