the test

well here is my informational post on my biopsy yesterday. sorry i didn't let you all know yesterday, i was enjoying the day with my family and chantae and her fam.

overall the biopsy went well. i was bummed because they wouldn't let shaun come back with me. they want it sterile and they don't want to risk the 'husband' passing out. (which could be a possibility...puking would probably be more accurate) for that split second i felt panic. but god brought me to where i needed to be and said it'll be okay. so we go to the room. the guy was WAY nice explained the procedure and then took a ultrasound pic of my thyroid. he told me that it is a pretty big nodule. he said it is about a half in deep and it as long as the transducer. i'm not good at measurements...i'd say the transducer was about four inches long?. he also said it is pretty much fluid filled...which is GOOD. there was little solid spot that he showed me and he said the dr would hopefully get some of the cells from there. he said for as far as the cyst/nodule goes this is the 'best' kind to have because it causes cancer the least amount of times. the doctor came in and the lab tech too.

i was a bit nervous...but then this worship song filled my thought: jesus you lift me up when i'm done, pick me up whenever i'm weary, you give the peace that passes all understanding to me....
how awesome it was to feel that peace!!

the biopsy went fine. the part that hurt the most was the numbing part. for those of you who have had to be stitched after having babies it felt the same way/hurt as that numbing stuff does. and in a tender area too! the pain only lasted about 5 seconds...yeah ONLY!! that's a long five seconds!! i could only feel pressure when he did the biopsy itself. he had to numb me again though because he also aspirated it to get the liquid out. so the lump feels smaller today. after he finished the biopsy he said it went wonderfully and he wouldn't be too worried. so over all i got some good feedback from the tech and drs. i'm still preparing that it could be not so good news as well...that way if it is i'm not totally shocked.

now as far as the results go. wanna know how long i have wait!!!!!!!!! TWO WEEKS. ahhh. he said it usually gets results in 7-10 days but they have to tell us two weeks. that's a super long time. but i'll wait. only because i have no other choice really.

so that's that. i have four small dots on my neck from the needles. but nothing too serious. it does hurt a bit yet today. but other than that i'm doing great. thank YOU for your prayers and support through all of it. i love you guys!!

so another 'big' story i have....

...for awhile now i've been going back and forth over cloth diapering. one day it is ABSOLUTELY NOT EVER NO WAY. the next was...hmmm maybe. well last week i went to the mom and pop place because one of my friends was seriously interested in it. i sat and listened to the lady explain some stuff to her. i walked away thinking...no don't think so. then i looked again. and thought. WOAH...i'd be saving SO much money. right now we spend close to 200 DOLLARS on DIAPERS every MONTH-MONTH AND A HALF. i could spend a little over that and get all the diapers i need...and not have to buy more! so in about two months i'd be 'getting money' back. i looked and debated. i called shaun. he said he didn't care as long as it wasn't just a 'fad'. i said no i don't think so...look at this money we'll be saving! so i DID IT. i bought two kits, small for dustin and large for breigh and caitlyn. it is the bummis brand. i also had a to buy a few more covers for dustin and some for breigh.

i got home thursday and washed and dried the diapers three times (some rule). then yesterday i DID IT. even when we went out. i figured if i'm doing this, i'm gonna do it. it went well. i just brought along a ziplock baggie for the used diapers while we were gone. i'm not brave enough to use them at night and figured i can use up my disposable diapers that way. PLUS one or two diapers a day will still last us a long time that way. i've also said that if someone is babysitting i would just have them use disposable...except shaun. lol. i was so proud of him yesterday. when i was having my biopsy done breigh came up and said 'i peed'. so he had to change her. :0) and he did a good job and didn't even complain. i'm so thankful he was 'on board'. if he would've told me no, which he does do...and should do..., i wouldn't have gotten them. but he was fine with it.

i'm not going to go on this 'everyone' should cloth diaper kick either. i've found it to be going well...one day...and actually it is easier than i thought. i already do wash every few days..so that isn't a big deal...now i just have an extra load...so either you're going to want to do it, or try it or it isn't for you. i'm honestly doing it to save the money. and i'm praying i can see that we're saving it too. winter is a 'hard' time for us because of no farm income coming in. so we pinch pennies all winter and winter is the best time to have some extra money...or rather no extra expenses as far as diapers go. so i'm kind of excited. plus they're SO cute...so that helps. :0)

well shaun is working this weekend. boo hoo. but oh well. i'm just praying he doesn't have to work late today like last time...i like having him home and so do the girls. so have a good saturday. and thanks to you again for praying!! i appreciate it SO SO much.

tomorrow tomorrow

annie is one of my FAVORITE musicals. perhaps my only favorite musical. and of course tomorrow is my biopsy. so it's on my mind a lot today. but speaking of annie a few years ago i got to go see the broadway show at the performing arts center. we were four rows from the stage!! it was so cool. my aunt's boss actually had the season tickets and let her get them. for way cheap! it was fun.

so anyways. tomorrow is friday already!! yikes. this week flew on by us. and of course like i said numerous times. the biopsy. i'm still doing fine. i think i will be. until i get the results. i mean i know i'll be 'fine' after getting the results...it's the waiting that will kill me. lol. i guess i just wanna keep the ball rolling. and the waiting through the time-outs is not keeping the ball a moving. i am a habitual chanel flipper during tv shows...not so good at the time out thing. :0) but it'll all be fine. i know and trust god that it will be. regardless of the results god is still SO good. ALL the time. he doesn't know anything different. and it's ALL the time. he isn't human so he doesn't choose 'when' or 'why' to be good...he just IS. how awesome is that!?!

shaun has off to come with me tomorrow. yay. but he does have to work this weekend. boo. he has been working long hours again this week. yesterday he was done by five thirty...which was really nice. but he also went in at five AM. so it was still over 12 hours. it was fun last night though because instead of falling asleep on the couch he played wii fit with me. he was stuck on perfecting the ski jump. he did a pretty good job. but i still beat him! he he he he. i'm not competitve AT ALL. we bowled and played tennis too. he totally beat me twice at tennis. but it was still fun.

tomorrow we're having supper with chantae and nathan and gage. they're coming over. it will be loads of fun i'm sure. plus we're playing wii. i'd better practice my bowling again tonight...they're both really good!! we're having tacos for supper. yummy. i love tacos. even though it is just meat and cheese. to me you need nothing more than some cheese. :0) i LOVE cheese. chantae's brother made fun of my naming breigh, breigh because i 'named her after brie cheese'. i DID NOT name her after brie cheese...it just happened to be a coincidence. a funny one though.

i'm really getting sick of winter. i hope spring is coming soon. we haven't had any snow storms or anything lately. but i just want the sun out and green grass and pretty tulips. only a few more weeks...or months...i also hate getting the kids ready in winter. coats, hats, boots etc etc. having to start the van 15 minutes before we need to leave so we don't freeze to the seats...oh the joys of winter. yet the snow CAN be pretty. but that's about all. yet i think if i lived somewhere with NO snow i'd miss it. so i'll stick here to good ole wisconsin. where it's probably possible to have snow all year round. :0) the latest i ever remember it is my mom's birthday, MAY 10th. i was little in elementary school. they even closed schools. it was quite crazy.

well enough random facts about snow in wi. :0) i'm in need of changing some diapers and getting some kiddos dressed. then i may think about doing the same. :0) toodles.

biggest loser...

UPDATE: so if you are first reading this...know that i totally will tell you who gets booted. so if you don't want to know...sorry don't read it...(thanks martha for the suggestion.)

was pretty good last night....

i was impressed with joelle's somewhat of a turnaround. either that or she was frightened of the upcoming visit from her friend carla...she KNEW she'd better 'get er done'. and that she did. she lost 10 pounds. i will admit i was hoping she'd fall below the yellow line. only because i didn't want dan to, and i knew that she'd be gone if she had....

...i teared up totally when blaine went home to be with his wife!! yay!! i knew they'd do that for him. it would have been SOOOOO hard to completely miss the birth. but he's still missing on so much. what a sacrifice for his family. i'm hoping that momma has some help though. she has four kiddos now. but they all seem spread apart age wise so it may be a bit easier for her. blaine and dane are looking good. they will be a force to be reckoned with if they continue on the show.

can i say i absolutely LOVE the blue team? filipe and sione. they're cousins and so funny. i think they will do awesome together. plus like i said they seem hilarious. i love hilarious.

i also am rooting for the team from wiscosin yet. the purple team. they are also too cute and i think will do really well together.

the pink and brown teams are also doing well. i was touched by mike's speech to keep them there. i figured they'd stay. (only because bob's team had majority) but it was touching and he was 'real'. dave...well he drove me crazy with his attitude. but i was pleasantly surprised at his weight loss at home. and i teared up when i saw daniel. man. he is looking excellent. i am so relieved they are doing it at home. i was unsure of dave and a little bit leary of daniel. but they're doing it yay!!

hmmm...oh there is the yellow team and green team yet huh? well i think all four of these girls are going to work their tookies off. it'll be interesting to see the next challenge between the teams with their partners there.

overall a good show. and i'm excited for next week!!

i stayed up way too late last night. 1130. all because i had to finish a book. it's 'this side of heaven' by karen kingsbury. she is my absolute FAVORITE author. and this book was soooo good. i will not say anything more than that because you should go read it and i don't want to give away anything. except that i cried. but i cry when i read any of her books. she is the first author that i have ever read that makes me BAWL like i do. but i continue to read it anyway....

sooo today is story time. then we are going to gage's house. i know aren't we ever home. lol. someone 'new' to mom's group this week asked if i stay at home. my initial answer was yes. then i said actually i am never home. but i don't work. lol. so we coined the term 'stay-in-van' mom. because that's where you find me most days. but it's alright. we are usually home by three most days. so we aren't gone ALL day anyways.

i haven't talked about this much this week. but my biopsy is on friday. i actually keep forgetting it is friday. 'til last night. i though whoa boy. two more days and i'll have a needle in my neck. lol. it really won't be THAT bad. they numb it first. my sil said remember it'll be long. but tiny. it's the 'width' that hurts not the length. so i'll be fine. i'm so thankful that shaun will be coming along. it makes it easier to do it with him next to me. and of course it is all so much easier because i have that perfect peace the lord gives me. i know and fully trust he is in control of all of this. and because of that i have the perfect peace from him. and i am SO very thankful for that.

so keep it in your prayers my friends. i appreciate every single one. i know on friday as we go for the biopsy i will feel them, just like i did last time for my scan. i LOVE the awesome power of prayer!!

well i've got a screaming kid to take care of. breigh is mad at me because she wants a snack and i told her she had to finish her cereal. so she threw herself on the floor screaming. lol. it doesn't work with me. and she knows it. because now she's reading books she saw on the bookshelf while crying and screaming by it. and she's fine. i'm sure she knows if shaun was here she'd have a better chance at getting what she wanted. but not with me. and shaun is getting better at it too. he's learning to be firmer and mean it and stick with it. because HE is the head of this house and family. not me. so HE needs to be that person. and i've been so blessed to see god changing and working on him to be all that. yay.

well i suppose. i need to get moving. i think i should shower before dustin gets up. he woke up at 640 to eat and then went back to sleep. that's what he's usually been doing. and then sleeping til nine or even later! and we leave around ten for storytime. that's what i'll do then. :0) oh yeah, did i mention my little man rolled over last week friday!?! yeppers. so now he rolls off his back at three months. and he rolled off his belly at five weeks. so he's right in line with amelya. we'll see if he's crawling at six and a half months like she was too!! yikes! it was actually nicer to have breigh and caitlyn be later movers. i'm not so sure if i'll be ready to have four moving kids in three months. three months and dustin will be half a year old. wow. okay let's just stop talking about all of this...i need to shower anyway....

I ♥ Faces

i heart faces is a photography blogsite that hosts weekly photo contests of faces for both kids & adults. this week the contest theme is joy. so i picked the following picture to 'enter'. i am not a professional by anymeans..but it's still fun!! to join in the fun and enter just visit their blog here.

since his birth a short three months ago this little man has brought so much JOY to our family!! after having three girls first a boy sure changes it up a bit. you know...the diaper changes aren't quite the same!! lol.

so today was dance. dance went well. the girlies got their costumes for their recitals...SUPER cute!! we went to get some 'bacon' after dance. then we went to best buy and got a 'sleeve' for the wii fit. then to the chiro. then to family christian store to pick up fireproof. and then and then and then....WHAT a busy day!

i have also some disappointing news. scrapblog is not all free anymore. darn. which means i can not make stuff for free. which means because i do not want to mess around with charging people i am going to retire from my position as a 'designer'. sorry. but i am here to help you. i have learned so much from making a few blogs and will always be here to help. i just don't want to deal with paying for stuff for others you know? so i am sorry. if you were one of the few left for me to do...i'm sorry!! i hope you understand. i don't want to charge you!! :0) so if you have any questions on how to do something to your blog...i may be able to help you out!!

alright. that's done. i feel so bad though! sorry!!

i missed most of the bachelor last night. darn. but jessie had a great post about it. an excellent recap! so i feel 'all caught up'. thanks jessie. i did watch true beauty. i LOVED the 101 year old lady. she looked fab!!

tonight is biggest loser. :0) i'm excited. i'm also tired. so i hope i can stay awake to see it!

well that's all. i know boring post. sorry!! i'll be sure to post a 'biggest loser' review asap though! because i LOVE doing that!! :0) toodles for now...

my bag.

alicia had this cute post the other day. here are the rules to this 'tag'

1) Post a picture of whatever bag you are carrying as of late. No, you cannot go up to your closet and pull out that cute little purse you used back before you had kids. I want to know what you carried today.

2) I want to know how much it cost:) And this is not to judge, because I’m honestly telling you I was ready to put down some cash; I just got lucky. This is for entertainment purposes only. So spill it. And if there is a story to go along with how you obtained it, I’d love to hear it.

3) Link back to this post so people know why the heck you’re showing everyone your diaper bag/non-diaper bag.

and here is my bag.

it is a petunia pickle bottom diaper bag. and i LOVE it. i saved mucho cash for it too. my loving sister gave me a gc for bellybeans last year for my bday and i used that to buy it. the price tag is 162 dollars or something crazy like that. my sister gave me 30ish and i coughed up the rest. THEN the next week the owner put the bags on sale!! and i emailed her and got some store credit back because i had just bought it. super yay. i do truly love the bag. my hubby likes it too...well for the most part he doesn't even care. i carry it most of the time.

i took the picture on the steps. amelya swept them yesterday while preparing for our company to come over. so sweet. and she was SO proud that when everyone came she showed them her work!!

i posted some pics to facebook too. here's the link. they're the cute pics from chuck e cheese.

here is just one of them. my super nice friend chantae took one of ME and dustin. you see as a mommy i think we are jipped out pictures. so it was nice of her to offer...

well this post has taken me forever to write...i've uploaded pics to facebook, sent out an email, fed dustin etc etc etc and you never even knew i left!! so i'm off to go do some laundry...ohh the joys...

i didn't do it.

monday. already? sooooo as always i'll tell you the following things...with the understanding that they never happened. if you want to join head over to mckmama's site and join in the crazy fun.

...as you may or may not know we have four children. because three of the four children are still in diapers we'd make sure that ONE of the two adults in the house had the diaper bag in the van before leaving for church. because it would be difficult to have NO diaper bag for church and lunch and a trip to walmart after all that.

....because the diaper bag may have been forgotten dustin was not squeezed into a number ONE diaper borrowed from a cute baby girl one month older than him...my son is not tons bigger than her and i did not just buy size three diapers for him.

...and because he may have been squeezed into the size one diaper he did not have a major blowout diaper after we got home...thankfully it was after we were at home!

...my son was not raising an eyebrow and smiling and that cute baby girl either. (lol yes he was!! it was so darn cute...i know it doesn't mean anything...yet...but it made for a laugh)

...our family and gage's family were not crazy enough to think chuck e cheese's would be less busy at four in the afternoon on a saturday. it was not jammed packed with kids all over and rude parents to join them. i have not vowed to never go there again on a weekend!

...i am not already bummed because shaun has to work this weekend. i do not enjoy having my husband to myself for two days and not have to share him with his job. i do not keep praying that god will provide my husband with a job he absolutely loves so he can quit this one.

(i'm so thankful that he has a job. i just wish he could love it so spending 11-13 hours a day there would be more 'fun' for him. the other job he worked he could work 16 hours and never once complain. and neither did i. i hate the fact that he was forced to quit that job because of management issues. and well because that is what god led him to do. even though we don't understand always WHY god tells us to do certain things i am so thankful i have a husband who is obediant to what god leads him to do.)

...i am not sore because of having a wii fit. i am more in shape than that. i do not keep trying to 'perfect' the advanced step game. i did not read how a woman lost SIXTY pounds with the wii fit and have been inspired to at least get in shape and TRY to lose the 40 pounds i need to lose.

well there you have it.

we had a busy weekend. but it was fun. we had a fun time at chuck e cheese on saturday despite the loads of people. after that we bought a new tv for our kitchen. it makes our eating area seem so much bigger with a flat screen tv in there. no i know we probably don't 'need' a tv in the kitchen. but there's been one there since i can remember and i enjoy watching the news in the morning and while making supper. and we usually eat while jeopardy and wheel of fortune are one. the girls love watching wheel. it's funny. caitlyn has even started clapping when the people do. and breigh and amely are always 'guessing' letters. i also enjoy amelya's excitement when i guess the puzzle and she yells...momma you were right!!

yesterday we had shaun's family over for his birthday. his mom and one sister stayed most of the time. his other sister and her boyfriend didn't stay very long because one of his kids had a basketball championship game to play in that she didn't know about when shaun called her to tell her about his 'party'. i was a little bummed that she didn't choose to stay while they left for the game...but whatever. she is a big girl and can make her own decisions.

i made the rachel ray recipie i ALWAYS make. :0) the sloppy joe manicotti. and it turned out pretty yummy. and we bought an ice cream cake from DQ. and that is always yummy. we played the wii and the wii fit with shaun's mom and sister too. that was fun and got us all movin'. lol. amelya had a 200 bowling on the wii yesterday...and a 203 on saturday!! she made PRO LEVEL on it too! she since lost it...but is close to getting it back again!! i can not believe how good she is at the bowling. we'll have to take her 'real life' bowling sometime....

so today is mom's group. then i don't know what. maybe a long hibernation. i'm tired. a nap would be nice...but not possible i'm sure. so i'll deal. but before i bore you more with this nonsense...i'll let you go...so have a good monday!!

guess what!?

the other night i was on the phone with shaun's aunt.

bet you didn't know that!! lol...okay really here is what i had to say....

her and her family were pooling all of their christmas money together to buy a wii. she had some questions and i answered them for her. and then told her how i wanted a wii fit and if she ever saw one anywhere she should call me.

well she called me last night.

because she found the wii fit!!

and she dropped it off last night.

and today i am sore.

it is loads of fun. and you can really get out of breath. well maybe it's just me. but at anyrate it is fun. i just don't like how it called me overweight...and proceeded to make my mii fat. lol. but i did the stepping game and my tookie is sore today. lol. it is fun.

so that's all i had to say i guess. i know you all probably don't care all that much. but i'm excited.

so i'm off for my day. to gage's house and then shopping with my sister...oh and guess what...shaun doesn't have to work this weekend. i'm stoked. but hey...i know you already knew that! i'm just super excited to spend two days with the man. :-)

interesting.

well well well. i know two posts in one day. but first off i have to give a
huge huge huge huge humungo! shout out. to my mommy. while i was gone. she did the rest of my dishes. my kitchen is clean. she swept. and wiped the counters and the floor. oh how i love my mommy. i feel so much better now that my kitchen is cleaned up!!

i also have that christmas tree down. and vacuumed the floor. and my dining room table is cleared. i have my house back!! and i couldn't be more excited!!

AND it gave me time to post quick again!!

i wasn't planning on it. but something interesting happened while at the memories preserved place. i was offered a JOB!! what?!?! i know!!?? crazy. so now i've got some major praying to do. the job would be loads of fun. if you haven't checked out the memories preserved site go check it out here. you see what they do is freeze dry flowers and put shadow boxes, dome things, cases etc together. we did a beautiful shadowbox of our wedding flowers. i am doing a dome from my sister's wedding, that is why i was there today.

so i picked out my dome. and then she says "i don't know how to ask you this." i'm thinking...oh geez, what? so she starts telling me how the girl who currently works for them is done at the end of the month and she will need some one new and thinks I would be PERFECT for the job. HUH? that has never ever happened to me before, just walk in and someone says i think you'd be perfect to work here.

the job would be VERY part part part time. like six to eight hours a week. it could be more though. i could work it out that i wouldn't start until after shaun got home. or work from five to eight. and that'd be a few nights a week. hmmm. it sounds enticing. the pay isn't a whole lot. but really i wouldn't expect it to be. the job seems like it would be fun. and i'd get to use my creative side. i like that. i like the minimal hours as well.

i called shaun and told him. he didn't say too much. i just said, well i quit my job when amelya was born to stay home with my kids. i still want to do that. i do not want this to turn into a full time job or even a 20 hour a week job. i like the flexability. and just the opportunity to make some extra money. the place is about ten minutes from our house so it isn't that far away. and if i'd work i'd be home before bedtime. so i still get to put my kiddos to bed.

for those of you who don't know. i sell lia sophia. i haven't done much since dustin has been born. and with this 'medical stuff' going on i've decided to put it on the back burner a bit longer. sooo do i pick between the two. or try and do both? or or or..how about i just PRAY. huh?

i told the lady as well that i plan on homeschooling. she said oh great so did i! and she also said just let god direct you. so that's what i'm going to do. let god direct me. so please add that to my super long list of prayer requests. :0)

alright. well that's all i really HAD to tell you.

tomorrow we're going to gage's house. after that i'm going shopping with my sister. busy day. i'm excited though. and shaun doesn't have to work this weekend. reason to celebrate my friends!!

so i'm off. toodles. and if you missed my earlier post...be sure to check out the super cute pics of the kiddos!!

three months

dustin. is three. months. old. already. i took that picture this morning. i edited it using the tip mckmama gave the other day. except i adjusted the hue and saturation the other way to only bring out certain colors. :0) i wanted to really show the blue eyes my handsome man has.

here is one i took of him yesterday. and again i played with the saturation and hue. i really like how this one turned out. plus his SUPER cute smile.

now i've gotten most of my house cleaned up. my mom is coming over today. i am hoping to get the kitchen picked up a bit more before she comes. i hate having this messy house. i blame myself. and that's that. and it's up to me to quit being: lazy/irritated/upset/sad etc etc etc about this house. whenever i get irritated i tend to just let the house slip. i don't know why really. i wish it worked the other way...irritated means super clean house. but oh that is not the case. i have to go meet with the memories preserved lady today. so my mom is coming to watch the kiddos. and then after that i am FINALLY taking my christmas tree down. it has started to bug me. that is the downfall to having a fake tree. you don't HAVE to take it down. lord willing...it is coming down TODAY!!

thanks again for all your kind comments after my last post. i'm still doing wonderfully. god is SO good and i am SO thankful for his faithfulness to me through all of this. his love never fails me. ever. and for that i am so glad.

so because i posted pics of the handsome three month old...here are a few of the girlies. and then i'm off to make lunch and finish picking up. i knew if i did not post this now i may not have gotten the chance to later...and i needed a 'rest'. :0)

caitlyn. sitting. that doesn't happen that often!! lol.

and the other two girlies. i wish i would've changed the red eyes first. but because i need to go. you're stuck with red eyes.

so i'm off.....til tomorrow probably. because this house is going to be clean. TODAY.

scheduled.

well i called my dr today to see if she had the results...even though i already knew them i wanted to 'get this movin'. soooo i called. and as i was on the phone with the nurse the dr. was looking at my test. 'perfect timing'. so she ordered the biopsy. i have it scheduled for next week friday at one. the only thing that 'stinks' is that i cannot eat any solids for breakfast or lunch. good thing liquids are okay...but i know i'll be STARVING after!!

i really have to go switch my wash. i just wanted to update before i got caught up in the wash and making supper. my super husband called me this morning and suggested what to make for supper!! how cool is that!?!? i HATE thinking of things to make for supper and LOVE ideas. so we're having cheesy hashbrowns with sloppy joes...although sloppy joes just made with tomato soup...because i do not like manwich.

oh wait. i must give my review of biggest loser. i am MAD that they kept joelle. argh. she doesn't even want to be there. doesn't even try. argh. it will get interesting. and i think that bob's team may be a little irked with jillian's team next week when they purposely asked what they should do and then did the opposite. THEN WHY ASK? damien was lookin' good though at home, as well as his fiance...which i cannot remember her name...the rest of the show was so-so. i enjoyed the outburst from carla. but joelle NEEDED to hear it. i don't think she cares. anyways. i'm gettin' all fired up again. so i'll quit. i was disappointed no new without a trace, instead the mentalist was on. first time i watched it...it wasn't half bad. but biggest loser takes first place over that.

okay. sorry for the short review...i MUST go. quit stalling me already!!

wait. i also need to tell you all about a raffle-away...for those of you who don't already read mckmama's blog and already know about it...there is a little baby claire...who wants to come home and her family is doing a fundraiser. and i SO want to win, since i didn't win the camera from mckmama's...i will win it from here. i've decided it. lol. so go check it out here. and give if you can.

alright. enough stalling. i'm done. :0)

conversations from the back seat...

on our way to dance class this morning...

amelya was whining when we left. which i decided warented no video to be watched on the way to dance...and boy am i glad i did that. amelya and breigh talked so much together and it is SO fun to listen...

i've been praying with them more and more during the day, instead of just before bed, i want them to know we can, and should be, praying all the time...so i was so blessed to hear this:

pray for daddy tractor. all the time. jesus name amen.

breigh said that. i'm so blessed. she prayed all by herself. but then after amelya heard this she said:

and his truck.

:0) isn't that the sweetest most awesomest thing you've ever heard. and i think the all the time comment is because at church we say 'god is good'. 'all the time'. 'all the time'. 'god is good'. breigh has started coming down for worship so she's obviously picked up on this.

they also prayed together for their little friends, and alisha (our worship leader) (breigh has an obsession with her, but i think it goes both ways...lol) they also prayed for auntie amy. it was just so awesome for me to know that they're learning these things by just following my actions. our kids are so impressionable.

a few weeks ago amelya told me she put jesus in her heart. but then when i asked her again she told me no. so i really truly don't know. but yesterday breigh told me that she didn't have jesus in her heart yet. amelya freaked out and said...but then you can't go to heaven! so she totally understands and i can't wait for the day to have her fully acknowledge her relationship with jesus. i know it's coming soon...and maybe for both of them. we are so blessed to be able to give these things to our children...

last night we went to red robin for shaun's birthday. on the way there i stopped at chantae's to pick up something and mentioned we were going...and in the end chantae and nathan and gage all came too. we had a nice time. and breigh and amelya enjoyed the sundae for shaun's birthday. i also enjoyed the banzai burger. yummy. you can't get much better than that!! after we left shaun said that it was nice that they (chantae and fam..) came along. (so now you don't have to worry about inviting yourselves along...lol)

so tonight biggest loser is on. i didn't see much of anything on tv last night. but just read a re-cap of the bachelor. i don't know why i care so much about show this season. maybe it's the kid involved....who knows. i'm excited about biggest loser, and i think without a trace may be new. all i do know is criminal minds is on tomorrow. woo hoo. :0)

so i have major picking up to do yet. i'm sick of this mess. i'm sick of making excuses. so i'm off to clean up. :o) have a super duper day.

nope. nope. not me.

well well well....MONDAY already. so i'll do my version of not me monday...and of course if you aren't familiar with all this craziness...head on over to mckmama's to find out more. and of course i did not do any of these things at all.

so this is one i fogot to do awhile back...but finally remembered to do it now...regardless it didn't happen anyways right? so a few weeks ago amelya called me from the bathroom to help her. when i walked in i did not find her sleeve covered in poop because she was trying to wipe her own tookie. i did not get grossed out, but stayed calm because i didn't want her to freak out anymore than she was...

and since i'm talking about things from awhile back...last week amelya plugged the toilet. i absolutely HATE plunging it. and i had to go to the bathroom REALLY bad. and because i had to take a shower i did not think this "ohhh i'll just go in the shower then i don't have to plunge the toilet". i did not think that was a fantastic idea and follow through with it. (it made complete sense to me AND i got out of plunging!!)

seriously as i sit here and try to think of things...i can't. last week was such a crazy emotional week and all i can remember is my test and the results. so i'm leaving you with just those two not me's from not even last week! sorry.

yesterday at church i totally saw the hand of god. first off, krystle a girl who's been coming for awhile...accepted jesus!! so that was SO cool. for worship...what can i say. i KNOW that god totally gave alisha those songs to sing...and they were songs that spoke to my heart completely...

(i was already an emotional wreck though...shaun's truck didn't get started until he got done with work yesterday so he took the van to work. when he realized he wouldn't make it to church because of things that were broken...he drove home. helped me load the kids up...i took him BACK to work and then to church...so i was really upset that he wasn't able to come to church because of his job)

so back to church...worship i pretty much bawled through. and amelya and breigh were sitting on my lap just looking at me with those precious baby blue eyes. i smiled at them. 'they that wait' was on of the songs that struck me the most. (they that wait...upon the lord...shall renew their strength...they that wait...etc etc etc) it is what i needed. to know that this 'waiting' time is okay. that god is at the head of it. that he is still in control and i just need to wait on him and nothing else...so that is what i do. as hard as it can be sometimes to 'wait' i KNOW it is all for the good.

mike's message was also good...and given on lack of sleep...in the winter he plows snow. it snowed saturday. he didn't get home from plowing until 830 SUNDAY MORNING. and church starts at 10. god sustained him through church and it was a beautiful service. it was a bit on being in the 'waiting room'. totally what my heart needed to hear. i LOVE how god works like that. we are going through the bible...chapter by chapter and verse by verse...it can only be god to have us where we are and with the things that are going on in my life. it is not coincidence. it is GOD.

i hadn't planned on getting up after church to share my 'story'. but god did. after church i found myself getting up from my rocking chair...(remember we go to a home church in a basement...and i got the rocking chair yesterday woo hoo!!) anyways...i got up and shared with everyone what has been going on. with crying of course. but they are my family and need to know. i need them praying too. even though this could still be 'nothing'...i think that prayer is still needed. i was truly blessed by the tears in their eyes as i shared with them. i could not only see the love but also feel it. i LOVE my church family!!

i am also truly blessed and can feel the love from you, my blogging friends. you will never know how much your kind comments and words of encouragement mean to me. to most all of you, i am a stranger, and someone you will probably never meet in real life...but yet you care. and that is what blesses me so much. so thank you!!

i also love my family and friends who don't fall into either of the above catagories...although most of you do. :0) just so you know. :0)

and i can not finish this post with out telling you all about a super special person today. shaun. it's his birthday today. we'll be together TEN years this year, in may. ten years ago when i went to prom with him i would've never thought we'd be married. i shared 'our story' awhile back...go ahead and read it if you never have. :0) so at any rate. we've been married a little over five of these past ten years. i love him more every day. he is a super wonderful daddy to our babies. i get blessed everytime i see him interact with our kiddos. he is also a super wonderful husband and friend. sure it ain't easy. but marriage isn't supposed to me. he is also a super wonderful son and brother. he does so much for his mom and sisters and is always willing to help. last year he spent a month working on his sister's (beautiful) bathroom. and never once complained about it. (now if i could get some money and have him do OUR bathroom....) he is SO handy and that is one of my many favorite things about him. one thing he also does...that i love...is works so very hard to support our family. even though his job drives me NUTSO with the way too many hours, i love how he does it all without complaining. he works almost 12 hours on a saturday without a complaint, he follows it with a sunday of 7 hours of work, all with out complaining. you see yesterday i had to go get him from work and take him home to shower and then we were going to go back to his sister's house. when we pulled in the driveway...work called. he had to go BACK in. he didn't like it i know, but not once did he complain about it. I was the one complaining to god after though. so maybe it is ME who needs to change huh? so to my bestest friend and husband happy 28th birthday. ( i know he doesn't read this...but still had to tell him anyways...i was proud of myself for remembering this morning in my morning fog)

alright. well it's time for me to go get ready for mom's group and all that jazz. so have a good monday. :0)

random 'tag' fun...

good evening. it's saturday night. and well shaun needs to shower and the kiddos are in bed. soo you get me. and actually shaun is STILL trying to get his truck to work. i am SO glad the kiddos were not here this morning so i could take shaun to work (at 530 AM) and didn't have to haul them along as well...i'm praying that his truck starts so he doesn't have to take the van tomorrow and give us the possibility to miss church if he ends up working later **update: nope truck doesn't start..but i'll keep praying**....and since i don't have too much to say i'll share some 'tag' fun. but i first will say shaun and i had a wonderful date night last night. and i spent the day at my mil's because he worked way late for a saturday (after five) and his co-worker dropped him off there...so i didn't have to drive in the fresh snow we just got! woo hoo. anywho...to the tagging....

heidi 'gave me a letter'...i was going to do it after reading lisa's...but forgot to ask her for a letter. so i did it from heidi's...she gave me the letter 'p'...so here are a few of my favorite 'p' things:

Popp Family: of course popp is my last name. and i love the family i married in to. i couldn't ask for a better mother in law and sisters in law. i love them as if they were my own mom and sisters. and of course my 'main' popp...shaun. i love him more and more each day and couldn't imagine my life without him and his last name...lol...it is WAY easier than my maiden name...and of course my favorite popp kids...

Pirate's Booty: have you had that stuff. yummy. and it HAS to be the carmel stuff. or it just ain't as good.

Pop: as in soda pop. i have a problem. i usually call it soda..but soda doesn't start with P...my favorite pop is probably pepsi...which does start with a p....in case you didn't know...lol

Peanut Butter: pretty much anything peanut butter is fine with me. with chocolate...all the better.

Pedicures: i LOVE pedicures. especially the ones at the spa in the mall. and speaking of pedicures....i need want one.

People: i love people. i also love to stare at people. if i worked at the mall or somewhere where there was a lot of people walking around i'd be in trouble. i'd just want to stare at all the different people. my girls stare. i now know why my mom yelled at me. but heck...SHAUN still tells me to stop...oops...

Personal Relationship: my favorite 'p' thing has to be the most important thing in my life. my personal relationship with jesus. i'd be nothing with out that. nothing.


well those are seven of my favorite 'p' things...i thought p was going to be harder than that...i could probably go on...but i won't because there is more tagging fun to do...AND if YOU want to play the letter game...leave me a comment and i'll give you a letter. fun. super easy. and as simple as that. :0)

okay so to the next 'tagging' fun. tiffany tagged me with the 'no rules' meme. i'm going to 'steal' her idea of just giving you some 'random' thoughts/things about me. as if you didn't already know everything about me....

....sooooo if you don't know me in real life you may be surprised that i am actually quite quiet...until you get to know me. then i probably don't shut up. i also talk super fast. but don't even realize i do it. ~stephanie~ once made a comment about me in her blog that my style is a 'mile a minute'. i didn't realize that it even comes across in my blog. lol...it made me giggle.

...i am also a very random person. i enjoy being this way. i talk about random things. change the subject like a drop of a hat...and since i talk fast...you'd better be paying attention.

...i absolutely NEVER thought i'd be a stay at home mom. the thought NEVER crossed my mind. UNTIL i held amelya in my arms. i never thought i'd have four kids. i never thought i'd be considering having more kids. i never ever though i'd have four kids in less than four years. goes to show you...I am not in control!!

...although i do enjoy having some control. i hate hate hate being late. i would always get to work at least 15 minutes before i 'started'. i stress out immediately if i know we are going to be late going some where. i usually shut the clock off in the van so i can't see the time. seeing the time stresses me out more. i am usually only late when shaun is with me. he is putzy. not on purpose. just is. when we started dating HE took longer to get ready than I did.

...i played the flute in band. and in college played on the worship team for intervarsity. i miss being in band. and i'm a huge band dork and when i see bands marching in parades i miss marching. i DO NOT miss playing scales for band every week.

...i also miss participating in forensics in school. am i nerd?!?!

...i LOVE to read. i am a very fast reader. i will start and finish a book in the same day. if i cannot finish a book in one day it drives me nuts til the next morning, and i must finish it immediately. i am hoping to instil the love of reading in all of my kids.

...i cannot stand the smell of green beans or broccoli. my kids don't eat either of them. and i don't care.

...i still gag when i get hair in my mouth. (it made me gag at the beginning of my pregnancy with dustin and has yet to go away)

...i already miss being pregnant. i enjoy every minute of it. even the back pain. even the puking...okay maybe not the puking...but i seriously LOVE being pregnant. maybe that's my problem.

...i usually, probably share too much information. oh well. i don't mind. and i love to share my heart. my heart is full of loads of information. and i love to be a stalker and read other people's personal information.

...when shaun and i went to prom...almost TEN years ago already...i thought he laughed funny. i think it must be nerves...he's never laughed like that again...either that or i'm so in love with him that i don't hear it...

...i secretly, well not anymore, hope ONE if not all three of the girls get shaun's curly hair. only because I always wanted curly hair.

wow...i seriously could go on. i won't. someone else will have to tag me some other time....lol. so dustin is getting hungry. and i am so excited to have nursed him ALL DAY today. he went back to nursing like a champ. i was a bit nervous that he'd take to the bottle and refuse me. but nope he wanted his momma...and i'm so glad. i HATED watching my milk go down the drain. anways. like i said..off to feed my little man. :0) if i don't see you tomorrow have a super day. and i'll for sure be back on monday. (oh and because dustin is hungry and fussing...i haven't tagged anyone...soooo i'll do it the easy way...if you want to be tagged...consider it DONE (you're it)...if you don't...consider youself more educated in me....)

awarded.

so i was given those two awards. i also know that mrs. 4444 gave me one...but i can't find it now. so i'll go with these two. julie was nice enough to give me the 'hugs' one and renee the fabulous one. because i don't feel like picking and choosing...if you want to take the awards too...take them. because truly you all are super fab and have super fab blogs. and you all have blessed me with your 'hugs' lately. so go ahead. don't be shy!!

my uptake test went fine this morning. my levels were on the high end of normal. i truly have not a clue what that means. i have to continue to pump and dump though. i asked. i was hoping she would've said no go ahead and feed. oh well.

shaun went to work around one. BUT his truck would not start. so brent came and got him. i'm still prayin' he'll get done early now and we can have our date night. brent seems to enjoy his work and not care about being home...so we'll see.

hmmm. what else. i KNOW there was something else i was going to say. but i just can not remember. hmmm. well my goal this weekend is to try and get my christmas tree down. that is one disadvantage to having a fake one. it doesn't lose needles. so it just stays up. plus up until this week amelya was still making ornaments for it. how could i take it down on her. i also need to pick up my house. it got messy again. all i really have to do is a few loads of dishes...yes i said a few loads...as in plural...and put away my scrapping stuff...yes from LAST FRIDAY...i do know it is a week ago...but in my defense we were busy last weekend. and well pretty busy this week as well.

after naps today we're driving across the road to the neighbors house. they have a girl a few months older than breigh and their son is a few months older than dustin. the girls are super excited to go to carleigh's. plus their mom and i can chat...it'll kill some time before shaun gets home...so that's nice.

after my uptake test i went to kwik trip. i got a glazer donut. how come no one has ever told me they taste a lot like krispy kremes? yum. i wish i would've gotten more than just one. i also got a fountain soda. i LOVE fountain soda. i got dr. pepper. it's funny before i was pregnant with dustin i could not stand dr. pepper. when i was pregnant i craved it. now i still like it. not as much as before. but it sure is good.

oh oh oh ...i totally just remembered what i was going to say...i WON a photo naming contest! woo hoo. jessica had a contest. and picked my entry. :0) i am way excited. it's the first time i've won something on a blog. :0) even if it is just a tacky christmas present. i'm still excited.

i've also been racking my brain on this whole give a way thing...i've got things cooking. i'll reveal something when the timer goes off on it. ;) as for now i need to go thaw some breastmilk and feed my baby boy. IF i would've known i needed this for TWO days i would've stored more. we've been doing half formula with it because i didn't have near enough for two days. oh well. it ain't going to hurt him.

have a super de duper day. and thanks for all the sweet and encouraging comments from my last post...go check it out if you haven't already....loves you guys!

quickly before i have to go out again.

morning. i have to shower before leaving again to get my 'uptake' test taken. which in reality i'll be spending more time driving (an hour) then the test will take (five minutes...or LESS)

but since i know you've all been praying you deserve an update. i wanted to yesterday. but i didn't know how to go about it. therefore...no update. so i guess i'll just share the news. the nucelar med tech was nice enough to share the pictures and explain them a bit with us. what we were looking, and hoping, for was a 'hot' nodule. that means it is like that because my thyroid is 'over active'. what we saw was, a 'cold' nodule. which means that my next two options are cancer or not cancer. yeah. i know. that sucks. my endrochrinologist will get the results by tuesday. i'm calling tuesday. the next step is most likely going to be a biopsy. to see 'if' it is cancer or not.

after letting it soak in for a day i've been 'fine' with it. shaun has too. i don't want to get all 'hyped' up about it. because we still don't know. but i think that is the scary part...not knowing. BUT i continue to trust god. i continue to believe and know that HE is in full control. it doesn't matter if it is cancer or not...god still has a plan..and his plan is STILL good. i also automatically assume that cancer=death. but it doesn't. 97% of the time thyroid cancer is cureable and treatable. i get 'scared' because shaun's dad was one of the 3% that weren't. a mom at mom's group shared with us a few weeks ago, she said maybe i'm going through this to allow healing in shaun's family from his dad. it struck me.

is that why god is allowing this? and you know...i am TOTALLY fine with that being the reason. i for one KNOW there is more healing that needs to be done with shaun and his mom and sisters. i don't think they've all ever sat down to talk about it. my whole feeling on this is...GOD PLEASE USE ME. use me for YOUR glory and HELP me to give it ALL to you. if it takes me having a 'cold' nodule to bring kimberly BACK to christ...i'm all for it. if it takes me having a 'cold' nodule to bring more healing to shaun...bring it on. if it takes me having a 'cold' nodule to bring ANYONE to a personal relationship with jesus...let's get started.

so that's where i'm at with it. still left with loads of unknown things. but resting in god's loving arms. and it's a nice warm place to be...good thing because it is still 40 below zero outside...

...i also have to pump and dump today. :0( i'm having a hard time watching it go down the drain. serious. i almost cried yesterday the first time. BUUUUUT...shaun and i are taking advantage to the situation and taking a date night...with out dustin...usually we've brought him along. but because i can't feed him...the girls and him are staying by nana's....OVERNIGHT. and i KNOW what you all are thinking!! uh oh. the LAST TIME they went on a date with no kids and slept over at nana's...there was a baby nine months later......we'll try not to have that happen again...but who am i to mess with god's plans...lol....it truly is whatever HE has...

well it's my allotted time to get in the shower. i gave myself 15 min. with you all. i wanted to do it right away so you don't have to keep wondering. :0)

stay warm today. and if you all live in a warm state...i'm SOOOO jealous.

general randomness...because it's what i do BEST!!

this HAS to be quick. criminal minds in on in t minus five minutes. lol. but i'm serious. I LOVE THAT show...

thanks to all of you who said you'll be praying. and thanks to those of you who haven't said it to me personally but have purposed it in your hearts to do so. i appreciate and covet all of them. i am still feeling so at peace about it all...praise the lord.

did you notice i hit 30!! followers today? no? well i did. i think it is pretty fun. so thanks to ALL of my followers. makes me feel a bit wanted. and loved. and I LOVE feeling that way.

so it is FREEZING out. they are ALREADY cancelling schools for tomorrow because it is supposed to be something like forty BELOW zero with windchill tomorrow morning. yikes!! that's C-O-L-D!!

i know i did not do my review of biggest loser today!! how dare i forget. first off...i can NOT believe how bob totally flipped. the girl needed it though. and i am SO bummed she did not fall below the yellow line. i don't like her attitude. but jerry looks great as does his wife...i can not wait to see him at the finale. second off...well i died when bob said 'i was possesed by jillian.' i thought it was funny. and really that's all i have to say about the show. i've got an awful headache and don't want to make it worse by trying to remember yesterday.

well criminal minds is on...so i'm coming back to you during the commercials. you should feel lucky. lol. that and i wasn't done typing. :0) imagine that...i have MORE to say...

so today was fun. we went to story time. we went to mcdonald's through the drive thru and then to chantae's. it was crazy and loud at times with SEVEN little ones. but OH so fun. we have to keep doing it. :0) it is nice to get together with other mommies and chat. and share 'secrets'. and of course watch the kiddos interact. (btw criminal minds is SOOOOOOOOOOOO good today)

you don't even know i'm leaving you! i'm a little addicted to tv. and i have bittersweet emotions about csi tomorrow. it's grissom's last day. i don't know what the show will be like with out him. it is weird without sara on it...now grissom?!? what are they trying to do!!??!! i also watched the bachelor this week. hmmm...interesting. one thing i HATE is how they are all kissing him. i could never be on that show, mainly because i am happily married already, but also because i wouldn't want to be sharing my 'boyfriend' with other women and kissing him knowing he's probably doing that with all the other girlies too. but still it intrigues me as to why they do it. so i watch. besides that...there is nothing else on tv then. i know we watch TOO much...oh well.

so now shaun is out of the shower and wants his back rubbed. because i love him i will go rub his back and leave you all. for good this time. i mean well for now. so have a super night. and thanks for the prayers!! i just LOVE you guys!!

where did they go?

okay so yesterday i asked you all to de-lurk. THANKS THANKS THANKS. to all of you who so politely listened!! and please if you didn't read that post or didn't listen...listen today. let me know who YOU are...you know pretty much everything about ME. lol. let me know you a little too.

but one thing that is mind boggling me this morning is where my 'hits' went. when 'slp' commented she was 10224...she stated it. but this morning my hit counter was just above 10100. hmpf. i don't know what happened. oh well. i truly don't think people can come in and steal hits. so who knows...other things have been 'gone' around me too...maybe i'm just losing my mind...

anyways. like i said thanks for commenting. i truly LOVED it. and like i also said..it's A-OKAY to de-lurk ANYTIME.

story time is today. it is also way below zero. no fun. after story time the plan is to go to 'gage's house'. melissa and her kiddos were invited too. so if she comes it'll be a nice full house of kids. all under amelya's age. :0) but they will have fun. so that's the part.

tomorrow is my test. i'm dreading having to get up early actually. well not super early. but we'll all have to leave the house by seven-thirtyish. that's the 'hard' part. my mil was maybe going to have off...but that's not the case. so we'll truck all the kiddos along with us. my mom is on first this week though, so she is going to meet us at the hospital after work when i'm having the actual scan done. so it works out. we have to be at the hospital by 815. take the pill at 830. then be back at 230 for the test. so between it all...we're going to the chiro and then to the mall i think. it'll give the girlies time to play and only one spot for us to have to be at. should be just fine.

as i type this it keeps telling me it isn't saving. i'm going to be so sad if it doesn't publish. i just hate having to try and think of everything i said. even though 'in real life' i repeat myself ALL the time. heck, i do it here too!! :0)

so i'm quitting. mainly because i don't want to lose a super long post. well that and caitlyn is awake. have a great day. if i don't get to post again, or tomorrow morning...which is HIGHLY unlikely...please remember to pray for me and the test and well my entire fam. :0) thanks so much. i'll try and update you all if i find out anything and how the test went ASAP. :0) thank you again to all of you who 'de-lurked'. (update) i couldn't even post the post. so i copied and pasted it. now it's back. and now i have to go get caitlyn. for real this time.

i didn't know!?! did you!?!

yesterday was "national de-lurking day". soooo 'happy day after national de-lurking day'. sooooo in honor of that...i want you to de-lurk. come on!! i know you're out there. i didn't hit 10,000 hits yesterday by hitting my own refresh button!

so please leave me a comment. let me know you're out there. i'd love to know you better...and read your blogs. so please. i'm begging to get to know you!!

i've got tons of faithful comment leavers too. so thanks to you guys as well. i LOVE to get and read my comments...and try to respond back as often as i can.

so leave me a comment. please?!?

well this is short. i've got to feed dustin. so i'm off to do that...now come one go leave me a comment and officially 'de-lurk'. lol...

200!?! and 10,000!?!?!

hmmm this is my 200th post. it should be one full of loads of wisdom. or not. because it most likely won't be. and i officially have over 10,000 hits. quite dismal to the THREE MILLION PLUS mckmama has. lol.

so i posted some pics to facebook. because as you all know, i'm lazy, i won't be posting them AGAIN here. so go to the pics here instead. but hey wait!?! don't you want to finish reading this first!?!

so after 'debuting' my 'made by amanda' site. i got quite a few 'takers'. one of them just wanted a header and button...i finished that relatively quickly and even though she wasn't the 'first' on the list i did her. but that is because i hadn't gotten the pics for the real girl in first. so i thought it'd be okay...so go check her out here. it was way easy to make for her and she loved it right away. so i'm stoked!! plus i love the name of her blog...welcome to my loonyverse. :0) too cute.

i have gotten the pictures from the girl in first on the list...so i'm excited to get started on her bloggy makeover. i'm waiting to hear back from her for some answers to some questions i had though first. ohhh it's so much fun.

thursday is my test. i'm still calm and cool. hey i'm always cool!! lol. it's my blog. i'll say what i want. but i am calm about it. and shaun's excited because it's supposed to be as cold as antartica here on thursday and he'll get out of work, which means getting out of working in the cold. and it may not be as cold as antartica...but pretty close!! i appreciate any and all prayers. and thanks for them. god is so cool to have blessed me with you guys!

church was way good yesterday. have i ever told you how i LOVE our small home fellowship church??!! :0) i know i have. but i do. it's a whole entire family. what spoke to me most about church yesterday? hmm. good question. for me it was the last song we sang. i am the god. (i am the god...that healeth thee...i am the god...your maker.....etc etc) it spoke to me because regardless of my test results thursday (good or bad) he has ALREADY healed me. i am free of my disease. i have NOT a thing to be worried about. i am saved by his grace already and need not worry about things on this earth. so i'm not. most of the time. the enemy tries to get me A LOT. but i throw god back in his face and god wins. so i win. because god is bigger than ANYthing that tries to get me down. whoo hoo.

so that's that. i should really be thinking of something for supper. plus i remembered that i have milk in the van yet. i got home at 230. dustin was hungry so i fed him. and left the stuff in the van. oops. well i left it in the van on purpose to feed my crying baby...what i did not do on purpose is forget it for three HOURS...:0) good thing it is almost as cold as antartica. so i'm off to fetch that stuff...although part of me thinks i could just tell shaun to get it when he gets home...but he hasn't called yet...so i'll go freeze my tookie off and get it...i guess...but if i keep typing and stalling...he may call...then i could tell him to get it...but then supper isn't being made either......alright. i'll go. you convinced me. :0) peace out. (maybe i'm overtired...that'd explain it...either that or blame the voices in my head....)

not me...later than normal

i'm sure ya'll were wondering where the heck amanda was this morning...well i was sleeping DUH!


because...it is not me who is so exicted dustin has now decided to sleep past seven am for THREE days in a row...i am not hoping this is a new trend..and i'm not excited that breigh slept til after eight either...woo hoo...


i was not blessed by my husband who let me go back to sleep after dustin woke up on saturday. i did not sleep til almost TEN AM!! i do not remember the last time i slept that late...


my husband did not bless me by writing me a cute little note. i did not feel bad that i found it saturday morning *after waking up at TEN!!* when he wanted me to find it friday. and 'wake him up' after scrapping. i may or may not have made it up to him saturday night. *wink wink*


i did not get home from scrapbooking after midnight. i did not then watch this video. i did not bawl my eyes out. i did not show it to shaun on saturday *after TEN* and bawl again. i have not been touched by this video.


last week after the chiro i did not give breigh a candy cane in the van and tell her not to eat it. she did not tell me okay. we did not have this conversation a few minutes into our van ride:

B: mom my hands are all sticky.

M: Breigh i told you not to eat the candy cane. are you eating it?

B: i'm not eating it....i'm LICKING it.

yeah. guess i need to be more literal to her!!


yesterday while rushing to get ready for church i did not look at my shoe before putting it on my foot. because i didn't look at it explains why i put it on the WRONG foot. i did not think...'hmm that's a good not me'.


i'm still not hoping to smell some dead mice in my house. i did not get irritated that they are stock piling their poison in my entry way. i have not prayed for them to die every night since i knew they were in my house.


i didn't get excited to see my mommy friend chantae last week and get some good 'chatting' in. and i'm not excited that she now has her own blog!


well i suppose that's as good as it gets this week. if you have a few...or eleven...minutes go check out that video i bawled too. get some kleenex and relax. audrey's story is so beautiful and so touching. it hits you. life is short. live for today. that was my 'message' last week, and i'm still livin' and speakin' it this week. we are not guarenteed tomorrow my friends. today is worth every ounce of your 'caring' of your 'dedication' of your 'everything'.

maybe i'll get a minute to post later about our fun weekend. which was loads of fun! (who doesn't like game night/birthday party with DQ ice cream cake and then another game day the next day for the same birthday lady! lol)

so for now have a great monday...

not three million

well i didn't get it. i was only 19 over. it was absolutely INSANE near the end. which happened to be around seven (my time). and guess what THAT was my prediction. i emailed mckmama all the pics i had taken during the day. and said that i'm probably a dork. guess what? she agreed that i am a huge dork. :0) but she also looooooooved all the pictures. i won't bore you with all of them. but i did hit 86000 and 89000 and was six over 90000. wow. i was pretty compulsive huh?

we baby sat for our friends' girls last night. so we had six kids all under amelya's age. it went very well. and it didn't feel 'too crazy' or something either. the only comment shaun made was that there were too many fingers around. because every time we turned the swing off and then walked away...the next time we looked it was on again. we never did catch who was doing it!! the girls loved playing with maddie and allie too...our playroom will prove it. it was destroyed. :0) but that is what it is for and because it isn't all in my living room...I DON'T CARE. i LOVE having a 'room' for all the toys.

yesterday was shaun's mom's birthday. she is having everyone from church over on saturday. and then wants all of us (the fam) to come over sunday. so it's doris weekend i guess. which is fine. but i feel bad for shaun because it is his weekend off and we'll be busy busy busy. at least it isn't until five on saturday. so that gives us all morning and most of the afternoon together....although we have yet to get her birthday gift. argh. we know what we want to get though, but i believe it means running to appleton. and we can't tonight because i get to go scrapbooking. shoot. that means we'll have to go tomorrow and make it an even busier day. that stinks. oh well.

i'm excited for scrapbooking. we haven't done it for months!! that means i never got caitlyn's birth done before giving birth...again. my intent was to finish her 'birth' and then do dustin's pregnancy and birth book. BEFORE dustin was born. oh well. i'm so far behind it doesn't even matter. amelya is up to may of '06. breigh's birth is done. and well i already told you the others. and my friends it is now '09. oh well. the pictures will always be there...so when all my babies are adults and out of the house it'll give me something to do anyway. dustin will probably come with me too. i'm trying to figure out a way to feed him right before i leave and then he 'might' be fine with one bottle while i'd be gone. but it's a hit or miss thing. it'd be easier to leave him home...but it's also easier just to nurse him instead of having to worry about if he's going to 'need' me at home. i'm sure shaun would just rather have me take him though. he'd be alone with them for four-plus hours...so i'll just be bringing them. and yes i said four PLUS hours. lol. sometimes it's eleven and once i think it was midnight. but we have loads of fun talking and scrapping. i don't know how chantae gets anything done with me around. i don't know if i ever keep quiet!

speaking of my dear husband. he forgot his phone at home today. which really stinks. because then i don't know when he is planning on being home so i can leave. last night he was home by 530. which was nice. but he also said he had to leave at five. (which in their work terms it usually is 15 minutes later than what you say...hence he was done at 515) he's learned to say an earlier time than he really needs. i don't have plans to leave the house today...not til scrapping. and i don't feel like loading all the kiddos up just to do that. lazy? a little. but it takes about 15-20 minutes to get them all four bundled up and ready to leave and in the van. and then another 10 minutes after we get home hauling them all in the house. seems like too big of a task just for his phone. so i think i'll call the guy he works with and see if shaun needs it. that is what i usually do. because this is NOT the first time he's forgotten his phone. it is the FIRST time the guy called at 540 and shaun was already gone so he is so very 'lucky' dustin was up eating or i would've not been happy. and he is aso so very 'lucky' he didn't wake up any of the girls. because then i would have been mad!

so that's that. i'm tired. which is no fun. i also still have a headache. it really doesn't go away for long. if the chiro wasn't in appleton i'd be going today...but again for all the same reasons i don't feel like giving shaun his phone...is the reasons i don't want to go to the chiro.

my sister went to libby lu's yesterday. got my girlies TONS of stuff for WAY cheap. i'm still bummed about it closing...but it has it's 'advantages'...the girlies loved the bracelets and rings and dress up skirt and their 'make your own' fairy wings. we haven't done them yet...but i'm sure it won't be long...

well okay. before i bore you all to sleep...i'll leave you alone. have a great friday. and because of our busy weekend ahead i just may not see you til monday...don't worry you will survive!

on the way to three million

like that? oh yeah. i am so compulsively hitting refresh EVERY time i walk by the computer. creepy? maybe. but i'm bound to TRY to hit miss mckmama's three millionth hit. there i was just 20,000 away. and since i've taken that picture there have been 1459 people since. i have seriously been figuring out 'statistically' when the three millionth hit will be. i'm not sharing my info either. :0) during the night her hits slow down considerably. which helped me out. lol. i can't believe i'm doing this. but i just want to hit it. my status on facebook says it. alright enough with that already...you people are going to start calling the loony bin on me...

...so no smell of defeat yet. and by that i mean...no dead mice yet. well maybe they're dead but just haven't been dead long enough for me to know it. i have not seen any. that is good. i did find one teeny tiny mouse turd on my kitchen floor though. argh. get out of my kitchen. in fact get out of my house. we have a big barn no one is using. go take your little friend(s) and get out. we have put out loads of poison though. they have been making a pile of it in our entry way. we thought they were taking it back downstairs with them. nope. there is a big pile in the entry way. either way they're eating it. good. die. stupid mice. sorry i do not like them. if they wouldn't live in my house i wouldn't mind them. but they gross me out completely. but i do prefer them to the grosser RATS that once lived here. the truth is they're probably still out there. but they are sure not getting an invitation in my house any time soon. nope. they too can die. or live somewhere else. i'm sure they prefer the latter...

enough about that. i'm gagging just writing about them. blech. gross. but i will be sure to fill you in if i smell them. :0) you knew that didn't you!?!

so today my changing table is officially SOLD. the guy came and picked it up. woo hoo. i had scary dream though last night about it. i watch WAY too much 'crime' shows (csi (all of them); criminal minds; without a trace; law and order svu (when w/o a trace is a repeat); 11th hour; flashpoint...okay you get the picture) so because of them i get some crazy weird dreams. last night's was no different. but it was so scary. the guy coming to pick up the changing table came at a time that it was just me home...so then i start thinking ohhh is it really a murder, rapist, kidnapper...etc...sooo my dream...the guy comes...and shaun was home outside. well i saw him carrying a can of gas and KNEW he was going to kill shaun. so i ran to the window in the kitchen and tried pounding on it to get shaun's attention. only thing is that there was a big screen on the window and i couldn't reach the glass part to pound it. so he didn't hear me. then the guy dumped the gas all over him...yikes! praise the lord i woke up after that!! it was so scary. and i hated going back to sleep after that.

and well because i'm typing this you realize that the guy was just a normal soon to be second time dad (sex unknown...i asked!) just looking for a changing table. he works for a healthcare company and even had his own dolly and ramp! awesome. i didn't even have to really help. he was very nice...and NORMAL. :0)

so ms amelya wants to play her abseas game from discovery toys. (i love that game). so because i need to take that time for her...i'm off to do that...2822271...that's what mckmama's counter is as i finish this...yep i'm THAT compulisve...

biggest loser review

well here it is my friends.

sooo i don't know how i quite feel about HALF of most of the teams going home. buuuutttt then i remember that when this show first started everyone came 'singlely'. so it's just kind of like that...except these guys were expecting to be there 'together'. so we'll see how it plays out. i was SO freaked out when the older guy totally passed out. i cried a little even. i know i know i'm a sap!

the silver team...hilarious. i loved their commentary at the beginning about being a hurricane. i also feel that if the girl who stays doesn't bring back her friend in 30 days...there may be blood shed. woah. the one said "this is a test of our friendship". so we'll see. but from previews it looks as if bob flips a lid at the remaining silver player...oh boy.

the purple team is from WI. so surely i'll root for them a little harder. :0) i don't even 'know' them personally, but gotta keep the love man!

shaun couldn't believe the size of the two orange team members. me either. i think they look like two marshmellow men. in a funny way. i'm not trying to make fun of them..they just look like people you want to hug. but i'm excited to see what they look like.

the one guy on the black team (either blaine or dane) anyways...his wife is having a baby! he'll miss the birth. ohhh i don't think i'd let shaun get away with that regardless if he's a big tubbo. no sir ree he'd have to stay tubby for a bit longer. but i also think that the black team will do so well. they have great working attitudes so far...although i must admit i was rooting for the yellow team to win the challenge. it was pretty close! plus the one girls' name is amanda. gotta root for the name!! ;0) although they seem to call her mandi. but my mii's nickname is mandie. my 'mii' is my alterego. lol.

nothing else really stands out to me about the show. oh except for the fact that they're hiding ali's pregnancy. you can notice it a bit. but seriously just because it's a show full of tubby people doesn't mean you can show off her beautiful preggo belly!! i love showing off mine and would be very sad if they would make me cover it...although now i still have a big enough belly to warrent a trip on the show...maybe not that bad...but it's how i feel sometimes.

i do like ali better as a hostess (is that what you call her...she's a girl so she wouldn't be a host right?) caroline rhea did a decent job, but i like ali better.

well okay i think that's my review.

we went to story time today. the girls were excited to see maddie again. and i was excited to have melissa to talk to. we didn't go out to eat with them after story time this week. we went to gage's house. so i got to see my two very favorite mommy friends today. and the kiddos got to see their friends. we all won. although maddie is a bit mad at me! she wanted pizza and the girls to go along...but we couldn't because we made plans. sorry maddie i'll make it up to you! pizza next week. maybe after mom's group. we seriously need more 'kid friendly' places around here. it's either pizza or mickey d's. i get sick of mickey d's ALL the time. but it's easy to sit and have the kids play and we can talk. pizza is nice....but it's harder to talk and watch the kiddos there.

we got home and breigh and caitlyn are napping now. amelya is 'crafting' and i think dustin is contemplating if he is hungry or not. **updated while i'm posting**he was contemplating going to sleep. which he is peacefully doing now...

speaking of him eating...he's been doing fantastic with the bottles. my test is a week from tomorrow and he should have no problems eating from a bottle all day. i'm starting to get those crazy anxious nerves. god's been helping me through them...but it's been tough. i've been thinking some crazy thoughts...which leads to tears...argh. but this is my blog and my place to let some feelings out. so i can share them. right? why am i asking you! i said it's my blog. so anyways.

i remember watching this show a LONG time ago called 'three wishes' i think amy grant or somebody with dark hair did it. well there was a dad dying and he made his three girls a video, one for each of them. so that's what i think about. me dying and making my kids each a special video. am i weird? probably. and seriously i can die tomorrow. i could die today for pete's sake. but i think because of the fact that this 'lump' could be something more than just a lump it makes me think more about it. it has also made me realize i need to live more for today regardless of anything else. we all need to.

why do we sit and worry about tomorrow or next week or next month or next year? when we have TODAY right in front of us. so i've committed to spending more 'special' time with the kiddos and shaun. i've committed to not saying 'just a second' as much as i do. because we ARE NOT guaranteed just one more second. so 'live for today'. it is a song i hear on the radio. and now if you are familiar with it you probably have it running through your head. it is sung by '3 doors down'. here are the chorus lyrics:

God only knws all the places I've been but I love this life that I'm livin' in. I won't look back to regret yesterday. cuz we're not handed tomorrow so I'll live for today.

it's a great song. and it's so true. so don't regret yesterday. just live for today. i am.

regardless of my 'test results' next week i will live for today. cuz we're not handed tomorrow. we can't even count on the fact that we'll be around a minute from now. my god. our god. is SO good. and his plan is perfect. i fall into his loving arms and he carries me through all of this. praise him. 'i' can not do a single thing of this myself. it is ONLY god that gets me through it. shaun is a great husband BUT he is human. and will fail me. heck he has failed me. god won't fail me. ever. he hasn't yet...and nothing makes me think he will ever.

my amelya is awake yet. she wants to play wii. i think i may just go do that....but before i do i want you to go check out my friend's blog...she started one because she wants to give me some comment lovin'...so go give her some...and meet 'gage's mommy chantae'. alright. off to bowl. and probably get beat! :0)